To Twist Fate to Justice
by Nel
Summary: After his rebirth, Tamahome struggles to accept his attraction to a daughter of fate itself, learn to trust himself, and protect the woman he was destined for, as she, too, struggles with her mysterious call. Takes place after the Seasons trilogy.
1. Chapter 1: Reunited

Author's notes: There are a couple things I want to briefly note before you get started enjoying this fic. First, this story takes place approximately fourteen years after the events in The Hope. If you haven't read The Hope or the two stories preceding, you may want to do that. I've tried to explain anything major from the previous stories, but reading those will help. Second, this story contains a slew of characters that I made up. In fact, the only ones that actively appear in this story that I don't own are Tamahome (Taka), Miaka, and Nakago (who belong to Watase Yuu). Kaena, Lena, Vinny, Andy, Kajri and Kaberi, Marsden, and Luke are mine. Finally, I promise I will finish this story in a timely manner! It won't take me seven years like the last one. As usual, reviews are not necessary, but make the author very happy and agreeable. So without further ado, I hope you will enjoy chapter one of To Twist Fate to Justice, the fourth novel in my (heavily modified, but not particularly AU) Fushigi Yuugi universe. -nel

Chapter One – Reunited

Taka sat down at his desk and thumped his head against it several times. It had been an incredibly long day, and he was glad it was over. He had a stack of papers eight feet high to grade, and his problem students weren't becoming less of a problem. He had moved here, thousands of miles from his home, nearly ten years ago, and still he felt like a foreigner. And still the kids treated him like one. It wasn't the mocking that bothered him. He was old enough to not be bothered by rotten little teens poking fun at his accent or the fact that he was shorter than about half of the boys. He was too old to be flattered by the flirting girls, too. None of those things really contributed to the out of place feeling, and being in America wasn't the root cause, though it certainly didn't help. No, he had felt out of place, outside fate, or maybe oddly connected to it, for a long time. The tired feeling wasn't about his students; it was a strange sense of foreboding, the likes of which he hadn't experienced since that )he hated to say it) fateful day fourteen years ago.

He had been twenty-one at the time. He had been murdered at twenty-one, and then twelve years later, he had been miraculously resurrected by a strange twist of fate. Taiitsukun, or maybe some higher deity, had needed him, and so he had been granted a second life. So at twenty-one, he had lived again, and found that the love of his life had married his arch nemesis, Nakago, the man he himself had killed in another lifetime, and they had had a daughter together. A beautiful, special child, who had been kidnapped by servants of the dark lord Tenkou, who had somehow fought the demon god, and who had channeled the power of some higher god, a Being so great and so perfect that it made his head hurt to recollect. And she had channeled that power through him. And so fourteen years ago, he had had a strange vision of his future as her protector and maybe more, and had seen what might happen should her soul turn dark.

Things had gotten back to normal pretty soon after the last adventure. Nakago had taken leave of his political campaign to spend time with his daughter, and to train her in how to control her chi, and how to fight with hand and sword. Miaka had been driven crazy by them all, so she worked part time to get out of the house, and spent much time with her friends Hotohori and Nuriko. And Taka had avoided it all. He had tried to pick up where they had left off, spending time with his fellow seishi and joking and laughing, but they had grown up, moved on, gotten married, had families. Even Hotohori and Nuriko had started the adoption process after not too long. But that didn't bother him so much. He had his family. They had been shocked, horrified, at first. But his brother was thrilled to have him back, especially now that they were almost the same age and could troll for girls together. He had finished his education and gotten back to normal, despite the fact that there was nothing normal about him. Four years, he had lived and worked, and tried to stay in touch with his fellow adventurers without staying too close. Then one day, at the end of her rope, Miaka had asked him to come watch Kaena.

Nakago was out of town. It had been four years, and they were back on the campaign trail. Miaka was suddenly called away to her brother's side in Hokkaido, and Kaena was studying for the Jr. High entrance exams and couldn't leave. So Taka, or Tamahome as they still called him, went to the rescue. Somehow, he doubted it was coincidental.

He went to their fancy high rise apartment, and Miaka kissed him hurriedly on the cheek as she rushed out, giving him laundry lists of where things were and who to call in case of an emergency. And then they were there, alone, he and the eleven year old girl. Her ice blue eyes pierced her in a way that would have made her father proud. They were round and large like her mother's, but the color and the unnerving stare was all Nakago. They had, of course, met before, but that had been long ago, and she had been a different child then. She had come through the ordeal with Tenkou physically unscathed, but the older she grew, the more solemn she became, at least around everybody but her parents.

"Hi," he said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head.

Her blue eyes crinkled briefly. "You're one of them."

"One of your mother's warriors? Yeah, that's me."

"Which one? You don't go by that name anymore. The others do, mostly," her blue eyes looked through him, and he was shocked to feel the character for 'oni' come to life on his forehead. He watched her closely, and noted a vague violent aura flare to life around her briefly, but it faded away almost as soon as he sensed it.

"Tamahome," he said. "You shouldn't play with others' powers."

"Sorry," she apologized sheepishly, starting to sound more like Miaka, and more like the girl she should have been. "It was an accident. Sometimes it just . . . slips."

"I understand. I wasn't used to having my powers in this world either, and sometimes I would get angry or upset and things would happen. It took a while to learn to control it again, like I had in the past."

She stared at him again. Miaka was long gone, and Taka was floundering. What did a twenty-five year old man have to talk about with an eleven year old girl? Should he bother trying to have a conversation, or should he send her off to her room to study.

"Did Miaka feed you?" he asked suspiciously, looking at the thin, willowy girl. She definitely hadn't gotten that from her mother!

She raised one blonde eyebrow, and he laughed.

"Of course she did. Well. What do you want to do?"

"I have to study," she said. "And if you want to go home, you can. I don't need somebody to babysit me. I'm not a child. I can take care of myself."

"Your mom would kill me if I did that."

"My father would kill you if he knew you were here alone with me," she replied as she turned toward her bedroom.

Taka paled, that thought not having occurred to him. It wasn't so much that Nakago didn't trust him. They weren't friends, but they didn't hate one another. They ran into each other occasionally, and it was never terse. But he was protective of his daughter. Not, he thought, sensing her brilliant aura, which she made no attempt to mask, that she needed protection.

It wasn't until the next night that something odd happened. He arrived after he got off work at five, and she was already waiting there for him with dinner cooked. He had picked up Chinese on the way over. They looked at each other, and she smiled, grabbed his arm, and led him in. She had made Bratwurst and noodles, which Taka assumed she learned from her part-German father. She took the Chinese food from him, set it out on the table, and then sat down. And started to eat.

And eat. And eat. Taka shouldn't have been surprised, but although Miaka could eat like a horse when she was young, she had always been adorably chubby. Kaena was thin as a rail, yet ate more than he did. And being a grown man with strong magic, he ate a fair bit himself. He couldn't imagine the grocery bills!

"How was school?" he asked conversationally, when he finally managed to stop staring at her impressive food consumption.

"Boring, as usual," she said. "I already know everything they're teaching. My father taught me."

"I wouldn't think he had that kind of time," Taka commented. "He's pretty busy these days."

"He taught me before he went back to work."

She had been seven or eight at that time. She smiled pleasantly, her round, pale face lighting up with her amusement. But the smile wasn't as light and carefree as Miaka's had been. There was something cynical and dry about it. If he didn't know better, Taka would have thought it was her father's dark, somber personality showing through, but Kaena wasn't dark, she was just different. He wasn't sure how he knew, but he did.

"You're an odd girl," he said jokingly.

"I know," she smiled, and this time the smile reached her ancient eyes.

"So if you already know it all, why study for the exams?" he questioned.

She frowned thoughtfully for a moment, and leaned closer to him. Her slender hands were folded in her lap, and she looked at him as if considering the vastness of the universe. Finally, she spoke. "Can I trust you?"

Startled, Taka opened his mouth to speak, but then waited, and considered. Was this an enormous secret she was about to spill, something about life, something he knew was in those pale eyes? Or was it something childish? He sensed both within her.

"I haven't been studying for the entrance exams. I've been studying magic. Chichiri, you know, the old sorcerer, he's been giving me books. I read them all the time. I know most of the things in them already, but not all. Some is really dark, stuff I would never try. But some could be really useful, like healing magic, and stopping time."

"You can't do that type of magic, can you?" he leaned forward, hands clutching the edge of the table. He watched her aura, mesmerized briefly by her power. Almost self-consciously, she drew her energy into herself, but it still seemed to bleed out around her.

"Not all of it," she said quietly. "Not yet. Taka?"

He tilted his head.

Rose color bloomed on her pale cheeks, and he saw Miaka in her then, stronger than ever. Her face was round despite her slimness, and the color suddenly reminded him of the blush Miaka once got when he teased her or gently kissed her. He felt himself flush at the memory, but tried to pay attention to her. "Do you think I'm scary?"

"What? No!" he said, and she looked doubtful, as if he'd answered too quickly.

"The others at school are. They bully me sometimes. They can tell something is strange about me. The people at the shrines seemed frightened too, and even mom's friends, and Yui-san's friends, they never talk to me for long.

"Probably because you remind them of Nakago, and he's a scary guy. He was even scarier when we first knew him."

"Nobody will tell me about that," she commented. "You really don't think I'm scary? Sometimes it seems even . . ." she paused, and her breath hitched. Damn. He hated dealing with girls crying. He only ever seemed to make it worse. "Even mom and papa don't want to be around me."

Embarrassed by her tears, she stood up and excused herself, running past him to her room. He followed curiously, not wanting to invade her privacy, but wondering how such a beautiful, entrancing child could think such a thing. He followed her to her room and stood in the doorway. She was standing by her bed, narrow shoulders shaking with her quiet sobs. Her long hair fell around her face.

"Don't cry," he said softly, cautiously entering the room. This was forbidden territory—a girl's bedroom. Not just because he was a man in a little girl's room, but because bedrooms were private places, and he didn't want to overstep her boundaries.

"They're never here!" she cried. "I miss having my papa around. I know it's stupid, but I miss him, and I don't want him to be afraid of me. I know he can tell I'm different. He's scared of me."

Taka didn't mean to, but he laughed. He stepped further into the room and knelt down in front of her, gently clutching her shoulders. "Darling," he said, still chuckling. "I don't think your father has ever been afraid of anything in his life, even something more powerful than him. Trust me, I know. He faced down an entire army—well, I shouldn't tell you that if they don't want you to know. But take my word for it, he's not scared of you. And you know what else? You mother is very special and very, very different. He likes that. He's different too, and she likes it as well. They're just busy, but if you need them around, you should tell them."

"Why am I so strange?" she whimpered, and fell forward into his arms, her little body wracked with uncontrollable sobs. "What makes me so strange?"

"These are things you should talk about with your parents," he said. "But Kaena, you are a smart, powerful, beautiful girl, and you shouldn't feel ashamed of it. So cheer up, okay?"

Slowly, she pushed herself away to look at his face. She tentatively touched his greenish blue hair, which would have been odd anywhere but Tokyo and Konan, and then smiled, wiping her tears with the heel of her hand. Her long waves were mussed and her face was tearstained, but she was beautiful. And suddenly he felt desire for her. Not sexual desire, because she was only a child, but he could see the vague outline of the woman she would be, could sense the depth of power and wisdom in her, and he desired to have her, to protect her. He was hers. He stood up suddenly. "You should get back to your studies," he retreated from the room as quickly as dignity permitted, leaving her standing there puzzled. "Or back to your magic studies, at least. I'll be in the living room if you need me. Don't forget to brush your teeth goodnight!" his sentences ran together as he hastily pulled the door shut and bolted down the hall to the living room and out the front door.

He took the eighteen flights of stairs down to the first floor and stepped into the chilly night air. The lights of Tokyo were twinkling in the dim twilight, and he breathed heavily, sitting down on the cement. He got odd looks from passersby who probably thought he was a very well-dressed bum. He buried his face in his hands, but couldn't get the image of Kaena as a woman of strength and unbelievable knowledge out of his head. Taka couldn't ignore the pull he had, to desire to surrender to her, to let her have him completely. As much as he had loved Miaka, he had never felt that unconditional surrender.

"I am a twenty-five year old man," he said to himself, trying to breathe deeply. "And she is an eleven year old girl. These feelings are wrong."

He knew what he felt wasn't lustful, knew he wasn't a pedophile, but he couldn't stand feeling that pull. He pulled out his cell phone and called a female friend from school. She arrived in minutes. Later, when she would go upstairs with his key, she would tell Kaena there had been an emergency and he'd had to go. He just hoped she would forgive him.

That had been ten years ago. It took less than a month to find work in the U.S. He had lived in Manhattan for a year, working on his teaching certificate and his English, but had hated the city. When a job offer in Chicago popped up, he jumped at the chance. He'd been teaching there ever since.

"Taka," a colleague popped in. She was pretty, with red hair and blue eyes, an American woman through and through. Her name was Marlena, but she went be Lena with him. "I'm leaving. Do you want to get a bite?"

"Not tonight," he said, gesturing to the pile of papers. "Thanks anyway."

"That stack has been there since spring break. Are you ever going to grade those?" she laughed, coming inside his classroom and sitting on one of the desks. "What are they, anyway?"

"Term papers on the rise of communism in China, and the one of the three large government policies Mao instituted. They're terrible. I can't bring myself to grade them."

"Are American kids that much dumber than Japanese kids?" she asked thoughtfully.

"No, just lazier. And their parents don't breathe down their necks the same way. I have to admit if I had lived in a city like this as a kid, I never would have done my homework."

"Didn't you grow up in Tokyo?" Lena asked.

"No, I grew up in the middle of nowhere, a very small community . . ." he stopped himself, suddenly realizing he was describing his life in Konan, not in Japan. "Sort of." He laughed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Maybe I'll take you up on that offer. Pizza?"

"Sure."

"Giordano's?" he asked hopefully.

"As long as you don't mind sitting next to me in the train while I fart all the way home from all that cheese!" she grabbed his hand. "Come on. My treat. I love watching you get fat on American food."

"Pizza is Italian," he pointed out.

"Not the way we do it here!"

There was nothing, in Taka's opinion, like Giordano's stuffed pizza. One slice contained about twelve thousand calories of cheese, grease, and slabs of meat. He could feel his delicate Japanese arteries clog, and didn't care. Lena was good company, but he didn't feel that way for her, even though her interest in him was obvious. They parted ways when she got off the subway at Randolph street, but he continued on and eventually switched to the bus. It would have been easier to take a cab, but he didn't feel like going home by himself. Taka missed his family. He hadn't seen them since last Christmas, and they were all grown up and having families, and he was still alone. He had tried to date, tried to just have casual flings, but nothing satisfied him. Maybe he would go troll the bars for a while before heading home, just to see if somebody would come back with him. He didn't want sex, but he did want company. He should have invited Lena to stay. He closed his eyes, feeling cranky despite his fun evening, and drifted to sleep.

***

An hour later, he had missed his stop. "End of the line," the conductor called, and Taka was forced to get off the bus. He was somewhere downtown, in a seedy looking neighborhood. He stepped onto the sidewalk and raised his hand to hail a cab, but something caught his eye and he looked to the left and across the street. He spotted a flash of gold hair, not so unusual here in the U.S. as it would have been in Japan, but that natural white-blonde color, a color no bottle could reproduce, was still pretty rare in a neighborhood like this, consisting of mostly immigrants or African Americans. He darted into the street and almost got hit by about five cars, who honked and made rude hand gestures at him. Taka ignored them all and turned the corner.

He saw her ahead, the woman with long, wavy blonde hair. She was tall, or so it seemed from this distance, with willowy limbs. She was wearing dark jeans and a close-fitting cropped trench coat in a deep violet color. He followed her from a distance. He felt creepy, lurking in the shadows like some criminal, but he had to see her, to see if it was her. He felt nothing from her aura, and that distinctive lack of feeling should have told him something, but he couldn't be sure. Maybe it was just an ordinary human with no chi to speak of, or maybe she was intentionally masking her chi so well it felt like there was nothing there.

Her flat shoes fell with deliberate, long strides. Strides that reminded him of Nakago. Her golden hair was to her waist, and glinted in the dim street lamps. She crossed the street suddenly, jaywalking, and he followed suit a moment later. She crossed again, and then stopped, turning around and staring directly at him.

"Stop!" she shouted, holding out her hands in front of her.

Startled, he looked around to see who she was talking to, and realized with embarrassment that she was talking to him. He supposed he wasn't as subtle as he thought. He showed himself, and continued to approach slowly.

"I don't know you!" her voice rose, and he could sense her aura bubble within her. She was crouching, ready to defend herself, and he could see her face now. It was not as round as it had been in her childhood. It had taken on a soft oval shape. Her mouth was small, lips full and pink. Her peachy skin covered delicately tilted cheekbones, and her large, blue eyes were narrowed in fear and anger.

"Kaena?" he called.

She started, hands dropping half an inch. A normal man wouldn't have noticed her lowering her guard, but a martial artist like Taka could see the hesitation. That was good. He was pretty sure she could kill him twelve times before he hit the ground. Well, perhaps not, but she could give him a run for his money.

"Who are you?" she asked. "Marsden? I told you to leave me alone."

"No," he sounded amused now. Marsden? "What are you doing in Chicago?"

"Who are you?" she asked again, raising her hands.

"Taka," he replied, and allowed the character on his forehead to light up briefly.

She dropped her hands, and stared. She didn't try to defend when he approached, so he picked up his pace and came to a stop just in front of her. His heart was pounding desperately in his chest. She was so lovely. Despite the image he'd had of her, she was more beautiful in person. He could feel her aura now, twisting, confused, and . . . angry? Too late, he realized his mistake. Her long, white hand slapped his face.

"What was that for?!" he cried, shocked and angry.

"So nice of you to say hello after ten years!" she shouted, her blue eyes sparkling malevolently Taka could see both her parents in her now, and he was sorry on principle. "You didn't even say goodbye. And after feeding me all that crap about how special I was and how you weren't scared of me! You not only left the apartment without notice, but you left Japan! And came here? How--" she stopped herself in the middle of her tirade. "No, it doesn't matter. It was nice seeing you, Taka. Good bye."

"Wait!" he cried, slipping into Japanese as she stormed off. Her English was much better than his and he felt stupid struggling with words when they could both so easily speak their native tongue. "Please. Let me talk to you. I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye. I have to see you."

"I have no need of weaklings and cowards who lie and hide. Leave me."

"Gi Kaena! Stop acting like a petulant child," he commanded, and she stopped and turned toward him. Her pale eyes were narrowed and she looked about ready to kill, but she was listening. "Can we go somewhere less dangerous? Let's get coffee."

"It's late," she said coldly.

"Kaena," he said gently, using every ounce of courage in him to take hold of her beautiful hands. "I've missed you. I . . . I've been waiting for you."

He saw the vulnerability beneath the anger, and remembered that even her father had been vulnerable at times. She looked to the side and he could have sworn he saw tears in her eyes, but they were gone as soon as he noticed them. "Come with me," she said, pulling her hands away and walking more sedately toward the corner where she hailed a cab. The cab took them north and east until they were driving alongside the lake. The water was calm tonight, which was unusual for such a windy place. The water gently lapped the wave breaks, and the light from Navy Pier reflected on the water like thousands of tiny fireflies. They came to a stop a few minutes later. Kaena swiped a platinum card and thanked the cabbie, and motioned for him to follow.

"What are we doing here?" he asked.

"I live here," she replied, looking up at the high rise apartment building that reminded him of her home in Japan. She motioned again for him to follow, and he did so. She bypassed the elevator, and together they walked up ten flights. Kaena didn't look tired by the trek, but Taka had to admit he wasn't as young as he used to be. She smirked a little when she noticed him panting, and he immediately straightened and slowed his breathing.

When she opened the door, he inhaled so fast he almost passed out. The condo was beautiful. It was decorated in pale blue and gold, with splashes of red. He had a strange sense of Suzaku and Seiryu here. The entryway opened up into a living room with a high ceiling and a fireplace, and French doors that led to a balcony overlooking Lake Michigan.

"This is a beautiful condo," he said, still looking around. Odd, ancient looking artifacts were artfully scattered on shelves and tables around the room. A large, flat screen television receded into the wall. He could see the full kitchen and dining area from his vantage, and wondered how big the bathroom was in a place like this. Compared to his one bedroom roach motel, this place was a palace.

"My father insists I live here. He thinks anywhere else is a slum, and the suburbs are too boring for me. So he bought it. What are you doing here, Taka?"

"I could ask the same of you. I've been living here for years. Well, not here here, but near here," he stuttered, embarrassed. Actually where he lived was closer to the south side, and much shadier than the neighborhood they'd met in. He wanted to move to the West suburbs, but hated the idea of such a long commute. "What brings you here?"

"Graduate school," she replied. "At the University of Chicago."

"Getting your master's?"

"Ph.D.," she replied.

"In what?"

"My program is religious studies, but my area of research is ancient magic and ritual," she responded, those cerulean eyes steadily gazing into his. "And you're teaching, I've heard?"

He nodded. "At Ashburn."

She nodded, and moved to let him further inside, her graceful figure sweeping toward the kitchen. She returned with a pot of tea and two dainty blue cups. She set the tea on the coffee table and returned to the kitchen, returning a moment later with a lovely arrangement of cookies. Kaena gestured for him to sit, and he did so, nervously taking the cup she offered and a cookie. He chewed thoughtfully.

"My mother made them," she said, sipping her tea.

"How are your parents? I haven't seen them since their business trip to New York a few years ago. I made an effort to get out there, but I only had the weekend. Are they well?"

"Mom is dealing with a bit of early arthritis, but papa is healthy as ever. I think he's going to live forever. He's running for prime minister next year. I think he might win."

"Is he still in the DPJ?"

She nodded. "It would be quite a coup for such a foreigner to win," her eyes danced with laugher. Clearly, she didn't consider him anything but Japanese. "He's still very handsome, so the news stations love to give him interviews. I think the female reporters just want to flirt."

"And Miaka—your mom?"

"Still mom, still pretty," she smiled. They were silent for a moment, and then her smile faded. "Tell me why you left. You said I could trust you."

"You have to understand, I didn't want to leave you, I wanted anything but. But it was too hard, too dangerous."

"I don't understand. I needed you. You seemed . . ." she looked away. "You understood. I thought you did, anyway," she added bitterly. Her pale face was drawn, and Taka could see clearly the pain he had caused. "You said I could trust you. Be honest with me. Why did you leave?"

Taka looked at her closely, not sure if he could admit it to her. He felt wrong, confused, unsure. But he knew that she would sense his lie if he dared tell one, and that would truly break her trust. So he took a deep breath and set down his tea. "I left because that night when you cried and I held you, I felt something I shouldn't have felt for you. I felt," he winced and looked at his hands. "Desire. Not sexual! But I wanted you to be mine, and I wanted to be yours, and I knew it was wrong, so I left to spare us both."

"Desire?" she asked, something about her eyes deeper, further away.

"Do you remember what happened when you were taken to, um, Hell? When Tenkou tried to steal your body, but you fought back, and then that power came into you?"

She nodded. It was a very early memory, even for a bright child like her, but one would be hard pressed to forget something like that, he imagined.

"When you channeled that power through me, I saw a vision of you as an adult. And I saw several possible futures. In all of them, I served you. I was your mother's seishi a lifetime ago, but I'm your seishi now. But that bond seemed wrong to me when you were a child, so I ran. Do you understand?"

"Don't talk to me like a child," she said offhand. "I'm twenty years old."

Taka winced. Even though she was an adult now, he was still almost fifteen years her senior, and felt creepy and weird about his unnatural attraction to her.

"I don't remember that," she said quietly. "I remember everything up to that point, where I struggled with Tenkou and the Preserver fought with me, and then I woke up and everything is blank until I was crying in my parents' arms. So, you left to protect me from yourself?"

"I didn't want to, but I couldn't handle feeling so drawn to a child. I'm not a pedophile. I'm not a creepy old man, either. I don't lust after you or your body, but I long for whatever is in you. It's what I was resurrected for."

"Do you believe that? All that destiny stuff? My parents go on about it."

He shrugged, honestly uncommitted either way. "I can't deny what I see, but I fail to see the beauty in a plan that allows innocent people to die in order to suit some grand purpose."

Kaena was silent for a moment, and then looked out the window toward the great lake. She folded her hands in her lap like she had done that night, nervously picking at her jeans, and then looked back at him.

"I'm glad I found you," she decided at last, taking his hands from across the table. He felt her power jolt with his, felt the spark of desire that had never died rekindle anew, but this time there was more. There was more than just a desire for service, for a bond. There was passion. "I have class at eight. You can stay here, if you want. I can make up the couch."

"I should get back."

She shrugged her shoulders, and went to the kitchen again. When she returned, she was holding a business card with her information on it. He pulled his own shabby, cheap card out of his pocket and handed it to her as well. He slipped out and she closed the door behind him.


	2. Chapter 2: Growing Pains

Chapter Two – Growing Pains

Kaena tossed herself on top of her plush, down comforter, and blew out her breath. She had been on her way home for class earlier when she had the distinct sense that she should go to that neighborhood. It had seemed completely out of the blue, but she had learned long ago to recognize the divine messages when she heard them, which was increasingly often. So she had gone, and there she had run into Taka, a man she had dreamed about loving since she was a child.

The first time she'd had the dream, she had been extremely confused. She had been an adult, and she had wanted him desperately, but he had turned away from her. When she had later seen his picture in an old album, she told her mother she wanted to marry that man. Her mother had gotten very sad and quietly told her that her friend Taka had passed away, but she hoped Kaena could find a man very much like him.

Somehow, she knew that she would meet him someday. And the day that he had come in with her parents to rescue her, she knew he was hers, and she his. She had been told to channel his power, to use him as a vessel, so she did. And she had gotten a strange glimpse into the future, the same as her long ago dream. They had met here and there several times after that, but she had never had a chance to talk to him for long, until that night when he came to babysit her.

She had thought her mother was being ridiculous. Not only was she a stunningly intelligent child thanks to her parents' intellectual gifts, but she had also experienced more in her eleven years than most people experienced in their entire lives. She had been taken to Hell, had met deities, and fought evil. She had transformed into a woman, and reverted to a child. And she was filled with the wellspring of wisdom that her God made available to her at all times. The being who had created Taiitsukun and Tenkou and the world spoke with her directly in a way that few human beings experienced, and Kaena had always been aware that she knew things others didn't.

When he came over, she was excited. Although she was young and didn't have sexual feelings yet, she knew there was something special about that man. She had been nervous at first, but then she couldn't keep her feelings to herself anymore, and they had all spilled over. He had comforted her, treated her like an equal, and that felt good. Kaena loved her parents, but they had always been protective, always underestimated what she was. It wasn't that they willfully denied the way she was; they just had no basis of experience for it, even though they had both experienced the supernatural like few others. They refused to tell her why she was special—they said it was because they loved each other very much. Neither would say a peep about how they met or under what circumstances all the strange friends had met. But Taka had wanted to divulge. He'd stopped himself, but she could tell he wanted to tell her everything about himself, his life, and she wanted to tell him the depths of all she had seen and known.

And then he had fled. After assuring her that she could trust him, he had run out. She had seen him outside from her window. And he had not only left her apartment; he had left the country, and her life.

She had been angry for a long time, and hurt. The others couldn't understand why she was so upset by his leaving. They knew she liked him, thought maybe she even had a little crush on the handsome, thoughtful young man. But they didn't understand. It wasn't adolescent vanity that made her conclude this; it was simply how it was. So she had thrown herself into her school work and graduated three years early, completing her undergraduate education by the time she was eighteen and finishing her master's in another two. And then something had told her she should apply overseas to finish her graduate work, so she did.

And now he was here, and he didn't look at her with wariness any longer. He looked at her with desire, and her body tingled to think of those deep blue eyes staring into her, seeing into her soul, understanding what she was and not fearing. She had dated others. Those who weren't perceptive were too boring to worry about—they looked at her and saw an exotic face and beautiful body, and those who were perceptive of her magic feared her. But Taka was her match. He was powerful. She could sense his magic, so tightly controlled, could feel the raw power in every tightly coiled muscle in his lean body. And he saw her for what she was, and desired.

But despite their obvious attraction, there were matters at hand. Kaena knew that accepting him would mean something important. She had no idea what, but it would change things; would fulfill whatever prophecy she had received fourteen years ago. And then there was his age. She had never truly felt like a child after the incident with Tenkou, but her body had been that of a child. Now she was a woman, but he was many years older than her. Kaena had a sneaking suspicion that her well defended virtue wasn't so well kept because of her dedication to her morals but because of her father's overwhelming presence. She imagined if her papa so much as had an inkling of Taka's interest that he would mysteriously disappear. He wasn't old. He must have been in his mid-thirties, and Kaena was ancient in wisdom and maturity, but her parents would certainly not see it that way, especially considering his relationship with her mother. If that wasn't awkward, she didn't know what was.

But that was beside the point. She didn't even know if he was willing to pursue anything. And she didn't know if she was willing to accept him as her seishi. She turned to the night stand where the little card sat and examined it. His phone number was scrawled over an outdated number, and she laughed. His thriftiness was legendary. Sighing again, Kaena set down the card and rolled over. Whatever was meant to be would be despite her worrying.

Still, she couldn't stop the image of his strong arms wrapped around her slender frame.

Taka stared at the wall. He couldn't stop imagining Kaena, her tall figure pressed against him, with him standing beside her with a sword and shield, ready to fight and protect. She was more beautiful than he remembered, her golden hair curling around her lovely face, and that violet aura seeping through her skin like some lovely perfume.

"Teach?" he heard vaguely. He could teach her a thing or two about life, he guessed. "Teach! Hey, Mr. Sho!"

The student was waving his paper in front of his face. He looked up, startled, and the students laughed.

"No daydreaming in class, Mr. Sho," one student called out. He was a Black boy with braids and a wide smile. His name was Antone, and he liked to give Taka a hard time. The red-haired student in front of him, Jeffrey, was looking at him with raised eyebrows.

"Are you going to take my paper, teach?"

Taka took the paper, a class exercise they'd been silently working on, and put it in front of him.

"You look like you're in loooove," Antone said, hugging himself passionately and laughing.

Taka's face turned red and he tried to distract the students by reminding them that their exercise was due in ten minutes. It didn't deter them.

"Who is she?" one of his female students, Jillian, asked. She flirted with him a lot, and openly expressed her enjoyment of Japanese men. She made a pouty face to show her disappointment.

"Nobody. Nothing. Get back to work or I'll toss you all in detention," he said sourly.

The class laughed again, but got back to work. The seishi picked up Jeffrey's paper and started reading it, but his mind kept drifting back to the blonde woman he had seen last night for the first time in a decade. She was a woman now, and her could still sense that depth behind her ice blue eyes. He had to see her. He pulled out the folded business card and looked at it. Gi Kaena. The card looked expensive, and had a distinctive feminine touch about it.

The bell rang as he was still staring at the card, and he quickly hid it in his pocket and stood up to collect the papers. The class grumbled about not having enough time as they handed them in. Tenth graders always had something to complain about, in his experience. He sat down after the last student left, glad for the end of the day. The last period of history was always the worst. Students weren't interested in anything but getting home in time to watch the Real World or whatever the 4 pm show of choice was these days, and he was pretty tired himself.

Taka sat down and started to grade the papers, but found himself reading the same sentences over and over, so he eventually gave up and left. He would go to the university and see if he could conveniently run into the lovely woman again.

Kaena struggled to keep her eyes open. She doodled and wrote incantations in the margins of her notebook, but her last class of the day was long and dull, and the professor's mannerisms reminded her a little of Ben Stein (who she had recently discovered). It would have been funny if it hadn't been so deathly boring.

"Ms. Gi, what do you think about the popularity and possible exploitation of Buddhism and other East Asian religions. I'd like to get your perspective," he asked her from across the small classroom.

The young woman straightened and fixed a cold stare on him for his obvious picking. He knew she was falling asleep and was just trying to catch her off guard. Well, she'd show him.

"Although the promulgation of Eastern Religions might seem offensive to some, because it might strip away the essence of, for example, Shintoism, it's actually no different from what Asian nations do to the rest of the world's culture. I mean, Japan as a modern nation was founded on the influx of Western ideas and models of military, health care, even education. Even though the seed of Western religion never really flourished there, most religions take it as a positive when their religion is spread. I don't think Buddhism or Shintoism would be any different."

"But what about stripping away the essence of Japanese-ness?" another student asked. She thought his name might be Joseph. "I know if Christianity were changed to suit another nation, it would be called heresy."

"Not all religions think that their way is the one true way. Buddhism thinks it's a way, and a pretty good one at that. There's nothing that says the religion has to be practiced exactly the same way from nation to nation. I doubt it's even practiced the same way from person to person. My country has a long history of adapting things, even Christianity, to suit the character of the people. So why shouldn't young Americans popularize Eastern religions in the same way? It only seems fair."

"Good point, Ms. Gi," the professor nodded at her, and continued on with his lecture. She frowned and sat ramrod straight, staring at him for the remainder of the class. When he dismissed the class, she grabbed her bag and made for the door, but the professor cleared his throat.

"Miss Gi," he said. "May I have a word with you?"

"Yes, Professor Jamison," she clenched her teeth and turned around. She tried to smile, but it felt strained.

"You don't like this class," Professor Jamison said frankly.

"No, sir," she replied, setting her bag down on the table. "I find it rather pedantic."

"I realize you're well educated and rather young, but to be honest, I'm not sure you're mature enough for this class. Maybe for this program."

Kaena's eyes flashed. She started to speak, but bit her tongue. She had her father's sharp tongue and her mother's restraint—or lack thereof. She took a deep breath. "What makes you say that?"

"I realize some of this is information you've already learned--"

"It's all information I've already learned."

"But," he looked at her pointedly. "There are other students who also know this information, but understand that they can learn from the discussion despite that fact. You seem to only participate when I call you out. You're a very intelligent young woman. When you do speak, it's with an eloquence and intelligence befitting somebody twice your age. But Kaena, your attitude is contagious and I don't want it infecting the other students."

"Yes, sir," she clenched her teeth so hard she thought she felt a molar crack. "Is that all?"

"One more thing. I realize you're a first year student, and the first year is always an adjustment, but especially for a foreign student like you. If you need anyone to talk to, don't hesitate to stop by my office. All right?"

Kaena felt her eyes tearing. Not because she was touched, but because she was outraged. She nodded and picked her bag up off the table again.

"See you next week."

"Right," she made a hasty retreat and made it all the way to the quad before she lost it. Her aura exploded around her and fellow students took a few steps back. She doubted they could see her aura or understand it, but even the woefully unperceptive could feel the energy she was emitting right now. She stormed through the campus, barely giving a second glance at the beautiful old buildings she usually admired, and the wide open space that was unheard of in Japan, but especially in a metropolis like this. Her long strides carried her off the campus and toward the Chicago river where she leaned over the guard rails and stared at the water until it began to bubble in the shallows. Realizing she was going to kill the fish, she reigned in her power and her emotions. She rubbed her eyes angrily. When somebody cleared his throat behind her, she whirred around so fast she nearly took his eye.

"Marsden," she growled. "What do you want?"

"I overheard what the prof said to you," he said.

"You eavesdropped!"

"It was an accident. I came to return a book that I borrowed to Diane," he held it up as proof. She eyed it and him suspiciously. She supposed he was good looking by some standards, with his dark hair and eyes. His features were vaguely Asian, but like hers, watered down by endless mixing for several generations. "I thought Dr. Jamison was totally out of line."

"Maybe the truth just hurts," she said sullenly, not really intending to carry on the conversation, but needing to vent.

"I don't think so. I know you're only twenty and you traveled all the way from Japan by yourself to come here and work on your Ph.D. It takes a lot of maturity to do that! And besides, I think he's just jealous because you won a grant and his recent application for the NHS grant program was declined."

"How did you know about that?"

"I'm his TA, so I end up doing a lot of his scut work. And as for you, the chair told me."

"Haven't any of these people heard of privacy?" she muttered. "Next you'll tell me that you know that my father is a politician and what the latest word on that front is."

Marsden smiled sheepishly. "There are no secrets in grad departments, at least not here. I hear he's doing pretty well. Kind of ironic, isn't it, a man like him running for office?"

"A man like what?" she gazed at him steadily, reading his aura. Maybe part of why she didn't like him was that she could feel that he had power and he was hiding it.

"A foreigner, or somebody who looks like a foreigner anyway. I know he's half Japanese. So are you a quarter or three quarters Japanese?"

And now he was lying, and trying to make conversation. What did he know about her father, anyway? Who in the U.S. outside of poli sci students and anthropologists paid that much attention to Japanese politics? She frowned.

"I should go."

"Let me walk you home."

"I'm taking a cab."

"We can share," he offered.

"And then you'll know where I live?" she laughed, trying to keep it light. "I think not!"

"Then have coffee with me. It's on me," he offered, his brown eyes large and puppyish. For a moment she forgot that she didn't like him and agreed. She tried to change her mind after, but he had already taken her hand to drag her toward the 1313 Cafe. Kaena had the oddest sensation that she had been momentarily bewitched, but she couldn't put her finger on it, and his aura was as undisguised and inactive as ever. Was it possible that this man didn't know his own power? She had received such extensive training that she found it hard to believe somebody with that strong of an aura could be unaware, but it wouldn't be the first time. Magic in this world was still new, and some people's powers hadn't manifested until adulthood, first appearing because magic and the power of the gods had suddenly been unlocked by her and Taka's merging of the worlds.

Speaking of Taka, she glanced behind her and met his gaze as he watched her walk away with Marsden. "Taka!" she cried suddenly.

Marsden stopped and Taka smiled in a reserved kind of way, looking puzzled. Kaena broke free of her captor and ran to Taka, jumping into his arms. "Kaena, what on earth . . ."

"Play along, please," she whispered. "I'm so glad I ran into you. Marsden and I were going to the 1313 for coffee. You must come along. If you come, I'll treat you to dinner later," she whispered the last part.

"I could use a cup of joe, as they say here," he smiled, lifted one eyebrow at her, and then walked with her arm in arm until they were with a pissed looking Marsden.

"Marsden, this is my friend Taka. Taka, Marsden is a classmate."

Taka bowed slightly, probably out of habit, and Marsden inclined his head. His aura was bubbling with annoyance now, but he smiled politely and led the way. Kaena was relieved. She honestly couldn't figure out why she had agreed to go with him, but her dislike had overwhelmed her and she was glad for, if not an escape, at least an ally.

They entered the little basement cafe, which was dim for atmosphere, and took a seat on a plush chair while Taka and Marsden both ordered her coffee. Deliberately, she drank the coffee Taka had brought and left Marsden's untouched. They sat down with her, and Taka began sipping his tea.

"So how do you know Kaena?" the doctoral student asked.

Taka's hesitation was subtle, but she noticed. That would be one long story. "I'm a family friend," he answered simply. "And you're classmates? Are you a doctoral student as well?"

"Post-doc," he said. "How about you?"

"Oh, I'm just a teacher. Graduated from Tokyo U and got my teaching certificate at New York University. I've been toying with the idea of getting my Master's in Education. I hear there's a good program at Notre Dame. But that's boring. So you're a post-doc. Where did you do your graduate work?"

"Stanford, and USC," he replied somewhat haughtily. Kaena was getting the distinct impression that he was boasting, but if Taka was aware, he made no acknowledgement.

"How long did that take you?"

"Are you trying to ask how old I am?" Marsden laughed. "I'm twenty-nine."

Taka held up his hands. "I didn't ask. I was just thinking about how old I would be if I did doctoral work and then a post-doc on top of it. Halfway dead, that's for sure."

"Oh please," Kaena said. "You're not that old."

"Old enough," he muttered, looking a little defeated. "So tell me about your research."

He had said the magic words. The next half hour included in depth descriptions of all the research Marsden had ever done, particularly published or presented, followed by his current research program and what exactly he intended to do after all was said and done. Kaena shook her head in exasperation, but Taka had clearly done it on purpose. Everybody knew academics couldn't shut up about their research. So while he blabbered on about his research, they exchanged little glances and silently carried on their own conversation.

"Well," the woman interrupted before he could continue. "Look at the time. I have a hundred pages of journals to read tonight. I should get going. Taka, want to share a cab?"

"Sure," he said, and she grabbed his arm and pulled him off. "Thanks for the coffee. Bye!"

Marsden's aura was positively boiling by the time they made their escape.

"Just what the hell was that all about?" Taka laughed when they had gotten a safe distance from the cafe and the campus. "Who is that guy?"

"Just some creep."

"He's got quite the aura about him. I wanted to ask about his magical training, but thought if it came to comparisons, I might become as rude as him."

"I don't think so," she replied. "If he is trained, he's made no mention about it to me, and he's never indicated he can tell anything strange about me. I think maybe he's just attracted to my aura subconsciously."

"I think there may be several other things he's attracted to," Taka said pointedly.

"Ew," she shuddered. "So where are we eating?"

"Have you ever had Giordano's?"

They walked together, heading east on 54th until they turned at the corner to head north along Blackstone. It was about a mile from campus, which was not a bad walk for such a nice spring day. Taka looked over at the woman, whose shoulders were even with his own, and smiled crookedly. Although he couldn't shake the feeling that he was walking with a woman who was very much like her cold, terrifying father, he was still happy to be with her. He felt like whatever he had been looking for or waiting for this past decade had finally found him. They walked in companionable silence until they reached the restaurant.

The pair followed the matri' de to their table and sat down. Kaena frowned thoughtfully at the drink menu and ordered water when the waiter asked. Taka ordered a beer. The woman frowned even more deeply.

"What?" he asked nervously.

"I'm not old enough to drink here," she said.

Taka laughed nervously, feeling ancient. The girl barely counted as legal in this country. Taka did find it odd that a country so full of children doing adult things at such young ages like driving and having sex didn't allow them the basic freedom to drink until twenty-one. "You can have my beer, if you want."

"I don't like American beer anyway," she closed the menu. "What do you want?"

"Pizza with everything. Do you like everything?"

"I don't know, I've never had 'everything' before. What does it entail?"

"Let me show you," he grinned and closed his own menu. The waiter came back with their drinks a moment later, and Taka took the liberty of ordering a large stuffed pizza with "everything" on it. The waiter nodded, gave Kaena a flirty smile, and disappeared into the back. Taka's gaze returned to his beautiful companion, but his mind blanked when he tried to speak. This was stupid. How on earth could he not think of a single thing to say to a girl he'd been waiting ten years to see?

Mercifully, she broke the silence. Her cool alto made him shiver just a bit. "What were you doing near campus today, anyway?"

Busted! he thought. He tittered nervously and rubbed the back of his head. "Well, I was just walking, and . . ." but the look on her face said that she knew why and was waiting for an honest answer, so he sighed and told her. "I just wanted to run into you again."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

She shrugged her slim shoulders. "Fair enough."

"You seemed a little upset earlier. Is everything okay? Was it just that Marsden guy pissing you off, or something else?" he paused. "If you don't mind my asking."

"I don't mind," she stirred her water. Her face clearly showed her indecision. Her blue eyes followed the straw as it moved rhythmically back and forth, causing the ice to clink softly on the glass. "It was something my professor said. He said I seemed immature and that I had a bad attitude. He said I should come talk to him if I was having trouble adjusting."

The hair on the back of Taka's neck stood up and he suddenly felt the need to jump up and defend her. Instead, he waited for her to continue.

"I suppose I am immature in some ways. I'm too smart for my own good, or so my mother tells me. I've always focused more on my studies, and my, um, other studies than on the people in my life. I just don't know how to deal with somebody who isn't, you know, like us. And even then, I'm not quite sure how to go about it. I sometimes feel like other people have had lessons in how to deal with their peers and I was out sick that day. Do I seem awkward to you?"

Taka chose his words carefully. "Not awkward . . . different, somehow. Like you see further into people than most do. And that makes it hard for you to deal with them on a superficial level. You seem reserved and hesitant, too. But that's not hard to understand, considering your father. You must take after him in that respect."

"Father is rather anti-social, but he seems to get along with his peers gracefully enough, even if it is because he orders and they obey. I don't have the benefit of years and that kind of presence, though. And he does have some friends, and my mother. I do think my talents make it harder for me to relate on the surface. I can tell right away if somebody is completely unlike me. And most people are."

"Am I?"

"Yes," she answered without missing a beat. "But not in a bad way," she added thoughtfully.

"What do you mean? Am I just so strange that I'm more like your strange than the normal of others?"

"Something like that. It's hard to put my finger on exactly what it is, but I can just tell something about you is different, yet fits with my kind of different, in a sense."

Kaena's cheeks colored slightly and she went back to stirring her glass. They sat awkwardly for a few minutes until the pizza came, and then they had the gooey cheese and multiple tantalizing toppings to discuss. Kaena thought the food lacked subtlety: it was essentially dough filled with grease. But that didn't stop her from eating four slices; impressive considering Taka could only down two and a half before throwing in the towel.

"May we have a box for this?" Taka asked the waiter, who nodded and changed out their drinks before scurrying off again. "You should take the leftovers. I already have leftovers from yesterday."

"How often do you eat here?" she asked with wonder.

"As much as my stomach can handle," he laughed. The waiter brought the bill and the box at the same time, and while Taka was going for the box, Kaena grabbed the bill.

"I can pay it," he said defensively. "Despite rumors, I'm not really that cheap."

"It's not a matter of cheap, it's just a matter of me getting there first. You can treat me next time. Besides, my father regularly drops enormous sums of money in my bank account for no apparent reason, so at least I can do him the favor of spending a little of it."

"Now there's a problem I wish I had," he joked, handing her the box as she put her card in the little plastic folder. She looked happier after having spent some time with him. He was glad. And ridiculously, he wanted to ask her to come over to his place, but that would be wholly inappropriate. The waiter swept past and picked up the card.

"What, um," she hesitated. Taka thought it was adorable, but she seemed annoyed by her own shyness. "What are you doing tomorrow night?"

"A few of my buddies are coming over to play poker," he said regrettably. "You can come over too. You should come over, and help me win."

"I don't want to invade your privacy," she took the card back from the waiter and signed the receipt. "Besides, I would rather stab myself in the eye than sit in a smokey room with a bunch of middle aged drunk men hitting on me and gambling."

"Yeah, that sounds like hell."

"Not quite," she responded automatically, looking up from her bill where she was calculating the tip, and smiling crookedly. "But close."

Realizing his faux pas, Taka cleared his throat. "I'm sure you'd have more fun with your friends, anyway. But I'm free on Sunday."

"I have a midterm on Monday I have to study for," she frowned, standing up. Taka followed suit, and soon they were walking toward the subway again.

"Don't feel obligated to hang out with me," he said, hoping she wasn't trying to see him for his benefit. It occurred to him, though, that she might just be lonely. "But you can call me if you want. My evenings are pretty open."

She smiled enigmatically. "Here comes my train."

"I'm going the other way. Don't hesitate to call me. I mean it."

"Same for you."

"Bye," he stood by the tracks and waved as she boarded. His eyes followed her through the train until she took a seat, and he continued to track her until the train was out of sight. He slowly walked toward his own commuter, and wished that he would have invited her over to play video games or something. She almost seemed to wish he had as well. Sighing woefully, Taka took a seat on his subway and stared blankly out the window as he was taken back to his place, alone.


	3. Chapter 3: Forbidden

Chapter Three - Forbidden

Kaena daintily nibbled on a donut that she'd picked up at the convenience store and put her leftover pizza in the fridge. Her refrigerator was well stocked, but the pizza would make a good meal later, or at least part of one. She was just about to turn on some music when the apartment phone rang. She knew it had to be her parents, because they were the only ones who ever called that line; everybody else called her cellular phone. She ran over to the phone and picked it up, happiness welling up from within her.

"Hello?" she said.

"Hello, Kaena," her father's deep voice made her smile. "How are you today?"

"I'm well," she said formally, looking at her watch. "Papa, it must be five AM there! You didn't have to get up so early to call me!"

"Your mother kept kicking me because I was apparently stealing the covers. I decided to give her the bed. You know how she gets," she could tell he was smiling by the tone of his voice. "It's Friday there, isn't it?"

She chuckled a little. "Yeah, it's Friday night."

"Do you have any plans? I'll let you go if I'm interrupting."

"No," she replied. "I had dinner with Taka already, but now I'm going to spend a quiet evening alone, reading some of those books you insisted on buying me last time you were in Kobe."

"You have books from every country in the world except your own," he defended. She smiled in amusement. "Taka? A Japanese friend?"

"You could say that," she answered uneasily. She could hear something stern in her father's voice and wondered if he suspected. He made a noise that reminded her that he could tell when she lied. "He's a friend of your's and mama's. He says you know him as Tamahome."

The phone went silent so suddenly, she thought she had lost the connection. She listened for sounds of breathing or anything, and when she heard nothing, she tapped the receiver. "Can you hear me?"

"Yes."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. We have a history."

"I know. He and mama used to date, didn't they? Before, um, he died. How exactly did he come to be resurrected, anyway? Last I checked, only Lazarus and Jesus made a habit out of it."

"He was murdered," her father, the man the others called Nakago, answered.

"By who?"

"A woman who is dead. Actually, it is because of his death that your mother and I chanced to meet again. I suppose I should thank him. But you should avoid him. He has a tendency to attract trouble. Surely you have nothing in common with a man twenty-five years your senior."

"He's only fourteen years older than me," she pointed out somewhat defensively. Again her father made one of those disapproving sounds. "What?"

"I don't like him."

"Are you telling me to stay away from him, father?" her tone became cool and formal.

"No, you're a grown woman. I would never presume to tell you who to speak with. But I am giving you my opinion. I don't like him. He's too old to be spending time with twenty year old young ladies."

"Aren't you ten years older than mother?"

"That is a very different case."

"And you were married when she was twenty?"

"Your mother . . ." he sighed and Kaena could tell she had flustered him. He and her mother had always made it a point to keep certain things from her. As much as it annoyed her, she was used to trying to piece things together based on accidental hints.

"Are you ever going to tell me about how you met? About all of it. I know there's so much you haven't told me. All I know is that you knew one another in a past life and regained those memories. You never even told me the story of how you met, or started dating. Most parents tell their kids these things," her voice sounded petulant even to herself, and she winced a little.

"Most parents don't have past lives to tell about. Your mother is waking up," her papa said. "I will let you talk to you. Have a good evening."

"Have a happy Friday," she muttered as she heard the phone handed off to her mother. "Hi, mama."

"Kaena! It's so good to talk to you. I keep missing you on the phone. How are things going? Have any exciting plans for the weekend?" her effervescent voice made her smile a little.

"No plans, just hanging out alone and studying."

"No dates?" she teased.

"No," she said.

"No, but she was spending time with your friend Tamahome this evening," she heard her father say, somewhat accusingly.

"Tamahome?" her mother pounced on the name. "You saw him?"

"We had dinner."

The phone went silent again, and she waited for her mother to speak. Finally, she heard a soft sigh. "Tell him I say hello. Your father needs the phone for a business call. I'll call you on Sunday. I love you. Talk to you soon."

"Love you too, mom," she said automatically. "Give papa a kiss for me. Bye."

The phone went dead. Kaena sat down, staring at the phone in puzzlement. Her parents had had an odd reaction. Her father had seemed anxious, even concerned by her association with the man who was once involved with her mother. It's not like she was dating him or even interested that way. Was she? He was quite handsome. He was unfortunately short, though. Well, not short, but much shorter than her usual preference. She was 175 centimeters, which, she reminded herself grumpily, translated to about five feet and nine inches in the good old U.S. A., and Taka couldn't be a centimeter taller than her, if any. But he had soft blue eyes the color of a deep lake, and and a gentle, kind smile. He was strong, and smart, and compassionate. But he was thirty-four. She frowned. She knew it could never work, and certainly her parents knew she wouldn't date somebody so much older than herself. Or did they? Maybe they suspected she would grow attached to him if she spent time with him. Mother had, after all.

And once again, she thought wryly, her parents had succeeded in dodging her questions about their past. It was so frustrating to probe and probe and get nowhere. She had asked Hotohori once, and he had said that her father had been their enemy in a past life, but that he was their ally now. Enemy—what did that mean? Were they on opposing sides of a political issue, or was it something more serious? Were they the bad guys, or was he? And why would they never mention how they had come to be married? So much about her life didn't make sense without these pieces of information. Even the mysterious kidnapping didn't really make sense, except that the evil demon Tenkou had needed her because of her magical, spiritual strength. But still, there was no explanation for that strength, and she suspected that explaining one would explain the other. And would maybe explain more about why they seemed to act so oddly about her relationship—or whatever it was—with Taka.

Feeling somewhat annoyed and too wound up to read, Kaena flipped on the TV and busied herself cleaning her condo. As she dusted her knickknacks and swept the floors, she couldn't help wondering what Taka was doing this evening.

Taka whistled as he moved around his apartment, straightening up the little messes he'd left here and there, and pulling bags of chips, beer, and pop. He pulled out some Velveeta cheese, which he found disgusting on principle, but which worked well for this particular recipe, added salsa, and popped it in the microwave. He had been productive today and was rather pleased to say he had finally graded every last term paper, and the assignment from Thursday. That would leave his Sunday free. Maybe he would call Kaena to see if she would be up for a study break.

No, he thought to himself, he needed to leave her alone. He knew he was attracted to her and wanted to see her every minute, but first off, he knew she was not the kind of girl who would appreciate being bombarded with phone calls and unannounced visits, and secondly, it just wasn't good for either of them to dance this particular waltz. He had danced it once with Miaka, and look how badly that had turned out! His relationship with Miaka had been an impossible romance, and he had known it couldn't work, but he had tried anyway. And this was no different. He sighed, picturing her soft hair running through his fingers. He wondered what it would smell like.

The microwave beeped at the same time somebody pounded on his door, and he jumped a foot in the air in surprise. Annoyed, he went to the door and looked through the peephole. It was his friend Vinny. He opened the door and bowed before he could stop himself. Ten years, and still he couldn't beat Japanese manners out of himself. Maybe he never would.

"Hey, Takahiko," his Italian friend said jokingly, ruffling his hair as he walked by. Vinny was tall and beefy, and loved to tease him, but they had met at NYU and had both found teaching positions in Chicago. He was a good man to know; almost like a brother.

"Come on in," he said, wincing when the man left his shoes on. It wasn't that his feet were particularly dirty, and his brown carpet was already stained from the previous tenants. But the Japanese in him died a little each time outside dirt was brought in.

Vinny sat down and automatically started setting up the poker table, laying out the cards and chips. Taka went to the microwave and pulled out the hot bowl, stirring the gooey concoction. He was pretty sure Miaka or her brother had taught him a similar recipe, but it worked much better with the plasticy, fake Velveeta.

"Have a good day?" Vinny called.

"Yeah, I got all my grading done, finally."

"No way. You defeated the eight foot monster, finally?"

"I don't know why I keep assigning them papers. They don't want to write them, and I don't want to grade them. I must be a sucker for punishment."

"You got that right," Vinny's Jersey accent always made him laugh a little. It was such a stereotype. Taka wondered if he sounded just as silly to Vinny's ear. "So who all is coming tonight?"

"Mark and Chin Sen, Andy, and Chuck. I was thinking Texas hold'em."

"You know I hate hold'em," he complained, but pulled out the big blind and little blind chips anyway. His brown eyes peered over the ledge that led to the kitchen. "You gonna take me for all I got again?"

"If you don't want to lose, don't bet such ridiculous amounts," he grinned.

"Ahh, whatever," he waved his hand and sat down, putting his feet on the neighboring chair. Taka winced again. He was pretty sure Vinny did that just to make him squirm. The others started arriving a few minutes later, and soon they were sitting around the table, laughing and lighting up cigars. Taka never smoked them since they messed with his ability to run, which was his primary form of exercise these days, but he didn't mind if the others did.

Taka was thankful for his buddies. He'd met Mark, of all places, on the subway. They had both been listening to the Cubs and had instantly bonded over baseball. As it turned out, Mark had season tickets and his friend who was going to pay for half dropped out at the last minute, so Taka was invited. He was a banker, which appealed to Taka's sensibilities. He'd met Chin Sen at the YMCA martial arts classes they'd both been taking. Taka wanted to brush up, and Chin Sen was just learning. He thought it was ironic than a Chinese man didn't know a single thing about martial arts. And then he thought it would be equally ironic for a Chinese man to learn Karate instead of some traditional Chinese martial art. So he and Taka had bonded over their love of Asian food and culture, and had sparred twice a week since then. Taka didn't quite remember where he'd met Andy. He thought he must have been a friend of Vinny or Chuck, but for the life of him he couldn't remember. Andy was quiet and shy, and enjoyed anime and Dungeons and Dragons a little too much. But he was a dependable guy. Taka was pretty sure he was unemployed, but always seemed to have money to play poker. Chuck was the social butterfly. Andy was probably Chuck's friend. Chuck knew everybody and had connections for everything. He was a generic business man, but was also from Jersey like Vinny. He didn't have the accent, but he talked like he was from the East coast—quickly.

The cards were dealt, and Chuck grumbled about Texas hold'em, but they put down their ante and laid out the first two cards. Taka had to lay the first bet as Little Blind. Vinny followed. The pot slowly grew, and more cards were shown. Taka frowned at his hand. He had a pair of tens, one in hand and the other on the table, and the potential for better. He traded in two cards when it was his turn. The others looked thoughtfully at their cards, all but Chuck, who hopped up to grab a round for everybody.

"I hate hold'em," Vinny grumbled again and folded. The pot was up to about twenty bucks now. Taka frowned. Chuck was relaxed, and not backing down. Chin Sen was clearly bluffing. He was rhythmically tapping his cards on the table. Andy was impossible to read.

Taka looked at his small pair and swore, tossing his cards down. Chin Sen went another round, but folded when the pot got up to fifty bucks. Chuck motioned for Andy to bet again. Andy's green eyes stared at Chuck thoughtfully for a moment, and he frowned. He moved to lay down his cards, but Vinny shook his head.

"Don't do it, he's bluffing," Vinny said.

"Shuddup, Vin," Chuck growled.

"See?"

Andy smiled and tossed another chip on.

"Ah, fuck you," he said and threw down his cards. He had a pair of sixes. Andy grinned triumphantly and took the pot. Vinny grabbed his cards and looked.

"Son of a bitch!" he threw down the cards. "A pair of twos!"

They all laughed as Chuck swore colorfully, and Andy threw him a pity chip with a wide smile on his face. The dealer chip and the Blinds shifted, and Taka was the dealer. He laid out the cards, and the bets started again.

"Still dating Angie, Chucky?" Vinny asked.

"Nah, she dumped me," he threw down a chip worth a dollar. The others saw his bet and Andy raised. They showed more cards and went around. "How about you? Weren't you after some fine little number, Marlena, Maria, something like that?"

"Mira," Vinny got a dreamy look on his face. "She's too good for me, though. She's a society broad, you know how they are. Rich daddy, wipes her ass with silk. You know the type."

"Is she pretty?" Andy, the youngest of them, asked.

"She's smokin' hot," Vinny replied. "What about you, Andy? I know how those girls love the little nerdy otaku guys."

Andy flushed and took some good natured ribbing. Taka cleaned up on the hand and Chuck expressed his distaste with another colorful metaphor. He passed the dealer chip, grinning.

"What about you, Daddy Warbucks?" Mark asked the man who was neatly organizing his chips. Vinny began to shuffle the cards and pass them out again. "How's that little redhead, Lena?"

"You know she's just a friend," he said.

"Yeah, but you've got that look about you. That look you had when I first met you and you were fuckin' wasted for that girl back in Japan," the Italian said. "What was her name, Mika?"

"Miaka, and that wasn't so much about her . . . never mind, let's play," he said, waiting for Andy to place his bet. The young man considered, and finally threw down five dollars.

"Shit, I'm out," Chuck said. "Come on, tell us, who is she? If not the redhead, then who? She hot? Where'd you meet her?"

"Nowhere, it's nothing," he was annoyed with their prying. Kaena wasn't some broad you discussed over cigars and beer. She was a beautiful goddess in training; sacred, as far as Taka was concerned. The betting continued, but Chuck wouldn't let it go. Just when he was about to threaten to spill that Taka knew Chuck had woken up with a bag lady and a horrible hangover last weekend, his phone buzzed.

"Aha!" the business man snatched his phone. "Kaena? A Japanese girl? I thought you liked American chicks."

Taka made a grab for the phone, but Chuck was already flipping it open and reading the text message she'd sent. The seishi swore and felt his power bubbling. "Chuck, I will kick your ass if I have to."

"Something in apartment, call me," he read. "Is that code for 'come over and fuck me'?"

"Dammit, Chuck," Taka leapt to his feet and snatched the phone back from his friend so fast that he was blinking in puzzlement.

"Jeez, Taka, sorry," he sat down, throwing his cards on the table to indicate he wanted to fold. "Think she's got a spider or something?"

"She wouldn't text me about a spider, trust me," he took the phone into his bedroom. "Vin, play my hand," he said as he shut the door. He heard his friends laughing raucously as he sat down on the bed and dialed Kaena's number.

She picked up on the first ring. "Taka?"

"What's up?" he asked, panic bubbling in his chest. This girl wouldn't call him over a spider in the bath tub. At least, he didn't think so. "Is everything okay?"

"My apartment door is open," she whispered. "It doesn't look like it was forced."

"I'm coming over, whatever you do, don't go inside--" he said just as he heard the sound of a creaking door. Too late for that.

"I'm on the phone with the police!" she called, and he could hear her pick something up to use as a weapon. Good, at least she had something to defend herself with.

"Is anything disturbed?" Taka asked anxiously.

"No, not that I can . . . wait," she said, and Taka held his breath. "Flowers on the table. You didn't?"

"Don't look at me. Do you know how expensive flowers are?" he laughed tightly. "Is there a card?"

He could hear the hardwood floors creak beneath her feet, and could hear the crinkling of paper as she picked up the flowers. She tore the envelope. "They're roses. The card says: 'To the daughter of Gi Ayuru, whose father gifted me with so many memories.' What the hell is that supposed to mean? Some business associate of my father's?"

"I think you should leave," Taka felt his chest clench. He didn't know why. "No, I'm coming over. Can you go to a neighbor's?"

"Settle down," she said dismissively. "It was probably just the super letting himself in. He probably forgot to lock the door when he left. Sorry I called. You were playing poker, weren't you?"

"Don't worry about it."

"I'm going to bed, I'll call you later."

"Wait, I don't think you should do that. Why don't you come over here for a little while, then we can go check it out together. Or do you have a friend you could stay with?"

"Taka," she said firmly. "It's fine." There was silence on the line suddenly, and then a sharp intake of breath. "My God. Can you come over?"

"I'll be there in ten minutes," he said, and the phone went dead. He flung open his bedroom door and ran past the guys at the table, grabbing his jacket. He tossed Vinny his house keys. "I have to run. Lock up for me. I'll see you next week at the Cubbies, yeah?"

"Taka, what's up? Do you need help? Can I drive you?"

"No, I'll take a cab. On second thought, can I borrow your car?"

Vinny pulled his own keys out and tossed them to Taka, who pulled the door shut behind him so hard that the rotted frame cracked. His feet pounded the sidewalk and his heart threatened to explode within his chest. What could have happened that she would so suddenly change her mind? He threw Vinny's old car into drive, released the clutch, and took off down the street. It was a Saturday night and the traffic was terrible, but Taka was a man on a mission. He managed to get across town in eight minutes flat, and flew up the stairs to Kaena's unit. The door was still open when he arrived.

"Kaena?" he called.

"In here," she said shakily. Relieved that she was all right, he followed the sound of her voice. He could see her shadow in the doorway of her bedroom, and came up behind her. He touched her shoulder gently, and followed her gaze. What he saw made his stomach clench within him. Blood was splattered everywhere. His stomach turned, and he remembered a similar scene many years ago. He had run into his house happily, and there he had found his father, brothers, sisters, dead. Blood painted the walls. He sunk to his knees, shaking.

"Taka?" her voice brought him back to himself. He was there for her, he couldn't lose it. Still shaking, he pushed himself up. His eyes scanned for the source of the blood and found it: a dead goat hung limply from her ceiling fan. "What do you make of it?"

He swallowed hard, emotions roiling within him, and examined the scene critically. On second glance, he noticed the blood splashes were artful and entirely too random to actually be random. It looked like somebody had splashed a bucket of blood around. The goat looked like it had been dead for some time, so at least it hadn't died struggling. The blood dripped slowly onto the bed.

"I thought as much when you read that card. Somebody has realized who your father is, or was, and is after revenge."

"What about my father?" she stiffened. "What could he have done that would call for this?"

"It's a really long story, Kaena," he took her by the shoulders. "You should stay with me tonight. Tomorrow we can sort this out. Clean up the blood, check with security, get you some new curtains and bedding . . ."

Kaena silently went to the closet and pulled out a baggy t-shirt and a pair of shorts, some jeans, and a turquoise top. She grabbed socks, underwear, and stuffed them into a gym bag. She went to the bathroom and grabbed a couple things, and stood by the door. Taka continued to stare at the bloody mess for a moment longer, and finally followed her out into the hallway. She bolted the door behind her, and then touched it with her palm flat against the wood. He sensed a magical ward being placed. At the very least, nothing supernatural would stumble in here. If, that is, the culprit was some supernatural being. Taka somehow suspected otherwise.

Kaena was silently herded back to Taka's place. He had not been exaggerating about the age and state of disrepair, but it was four walls and right now it felt a hell of a lot safer than her home. He put his arm around her shoulders, an unnecessary gesture, as they entered the room. Her eyes scanned around, and she saw his buddies still sitting at the table.

"I won you ninety bucks!" a big clumsy looking man called, waving his cards. When he saw Kaena, he stood up. "Hello."

"Hello," she replied automatically.

"Ma'am," a man in shirtsleeves and dockers, and another wearing a Dragon Ball t-shirt, inclined their heads. Another man, in a nice t-shirt and jeans, stared openly. An Asian man opened his mouth slightly in an expression of wonder.

"This is my friend Kaena. There was an accident at her apartment, so she'll be staying here. If you want to finish up this round, you can, but I should probably kick you out."

"It's almost ten anyway," the man who won Taka ninety dollars said. He sat down and they continued playing.

"Are these your friends?" she asked as Taka herded her through the living room, trying to kick her shoes off at the same time. "Are those mom's nachos?"

"Yeah, that's Vinny playing my hand. Mark is the guy in the button down, Chuck in the Banana Republic $50 t-shirt, Andy is the one with the anime shirt, and the other guy is Chin Sen," he pointed them out. "And it's your mom's recipe, slightly modified."

Taka grabbed the dip and chips on his way past.

"Ey!" Vinny called, shaking his fist. "I was gonna eat those!"

Kaena was led down a short, dim hallway with peeling pink wallpaper, and into a bedroom with one red wall and the other three in egg shell. This was obviously his bedroom. It was a little messy, but cleaner than she expected. The bedding was black with gold leafed trim, and there were a few knickknacks scattered on book shelves loaded down with enormous volumes about education, history, and martial arts.

"You can sleep in here tonight," he said chivalrously. "I'll take the couch. The door locks and there's a bathroom in here."

Taka set her light purple bag down on a chair covered in his clothes, and surreptitiously swept a pair of boxers under the bed with his foot. She raised an eyebrow and he flushed.

"Sorry about the mess."

"It's nothing," she said. "Thank you. I'll call the cleaners tomorrow. I'll tell them some college friends played a prank."

He handed her the chips and dip, and she took them to the bed, sitting down. The room was pretty nice. He opened up the bureau to show her the TV and stereo hidden away, and directed her to the climate controls. He advised against unlocking the window, however.

"I better shoe those guys out of here," Taka said, leaving her alone in his bedroom. She set down the nachos and picked up a picture on his night stand. There was a framed photograph of his father and siblings, all laughing and ruffling one another's hair. There was a separate picture of a young woman with eyes the color of storm clouds, and deep hair so blue it was almost black. She was beautiful, and she had to be his mother. Perhaps she had passed away some time ago.

She went to the bathroom and splashed her face, examining it closely in the mirror. There wasn't a single line on her face. She had been obsessed with sun protection ever since she was a child. She never turned tan, only burned, and she was grateful for her mother's sun consciousness now that her peers were starting to show the first signs of aging. In fact, her face was still full and somewhat childish, despite her serious expressions. She thought that she looked about sixteen. No wonder Taka was so awkward around her. She sucked in her cheeks, but just ended up looking like a duck. Sighing, she went back into the bedroom.

A thrill chased up her spine as she realized that she was in the beautiful, mysterious man's bedroom. She had a brief flash of lust, and wondered what it would be like to kiss him, or more. She flushed and sat down, pulling a book out of her bag. She tried to read, but her thoughts kept getting interrupted by thoughts of Taka's lips.

Taka closed the door behind Chuck and Mark, who were still arguing over their final hand. Vinny was counting Taka's winnings. "You won $90," he said.

"I won like $30 before."

"Think of it as payment for services," the man said, handing him his winnings. He pocketed his own fifty bucks and started cleaning up the poker chips and cards while Taka swept the crumbs and cigar butts into the garbage can. It hadn't been as planned, but it was something. Idly, he wondered what Kaena was doing, and if she thought his bed was comfortable.

"So your friend, who is she?" Vinny asked carefully, putting the empty beer bottles into a box to be recycled. "She's pretty."

"It's a really long story, Vin."

"I got time," he said, turning one of the folding chairs toward himself and sliding onto it. His arms hung over the back of it. "How old is she? Is she, you know, legal?"

"She's twenty," he said defensively. "I'm not some cradle robber, and it's not like that anyway. She's a family friend. I used to date her mom."

"Her mom must be ten years older than you!"

"Um, she is."

Vinny shook his head. "Well, if she looks anything like your girl in there, I can see why. What is she? She doesn't look Japanese at all."

"Her father is German. She takes after him," he explained. He really didn't want to divulge too much about Kaena to him. Not because Vinny wasn't trustworthy, because he was, absolutely, but because if somebody was after Kaena, the less other people knew about her the better. They couldn't be put in danger if they knew nothing. Theoretically.

Speak of the devil, he thought, as Kaena emerged from his bedroom. She went to the kitchen, holding the empty bag of chips and the remaining cheese dip. She put the bag in the garbage, set the bowl by the sink, and started rummaging for a glass.

"They're over the stove," he said, going over intending to help her get one down before realizing that she was, in fact, the same height as him, and could easily get the glass down herself. She grabbed one and filled it up.

"So Taka's a friend of your family. Are you from Japan as well?" Vinny asked her, grinning unapologetically at Taka. It was almost irresistible to talk to her.

"Yes. My family lives in Japan, but I have German relatives as well."

"What are you doing all the way out here?" he asked, folding up the extra chairs and setting them in the closet. He was unabashedly flirting with her now, smiling and being charming. His accent even disappeared a little.

"Going to school."

"Oh, what's your major?"

"I'm a doctoral student. My area is religious studies, and my thesis is on ancient religions and magic."

"You're a doctoral student? Holy hell. You must be a genius!" he exclaimed, looking at her with wonder. He gave Taka a look like 'what the hell are you waiting for?' and Taka bit his lip.

She shrugged her shoulders and rinsed out her glass, leaving it in the dish tray. "I'll be getting out of your way now."

Kaena departed and gently closed the bedroom door. Vinny let out a low whistle and shook his head, folding up the green table cover. "Taka, if I had that girl in my bedroom, I would not be standing around out here. She is fine, and smart! And she looks wealthy, too. Is she wealthy?"

"Yeah, she is," he said. "But Vin, she's twenty years old. She's just a kid! I'm an old pervert for even thinking of her that way. I knew her when she was seven years old! I dated her mom!"

"Hopefully not when she was seven years old?"

"No, it was before Kaena was born."

"Was it serious?"

"We were engaged."

"Wait, before she was born?" the man was clearly doing the math. "If you're thirty-four and she's twenty, you would have been fourteen! I know you're yanking my chain now."

"It's a really, really long story. A strange, unbelievable story. Trust me."

"I told you, I got all night."

"Will you promise not to mock me? Or commit me?"

He made the sign of the cross over his chest and solemnly nodded.

"You know how there are some people with magic powers, that just sort of started manifesting fifteen years ago or so? And how things kind of . . . changed, around then? Well, the reason for that has to do with this adventure that I, and Kaena's mother, had a long time ago. When her mom was fifteen, she was magically drawn into a book. I know it sounds stupid, but trust me, it's true. The book led to another universe, where I was a young warrior. Kaena's mother, Miaka, she was called to be the priestess that would summon a beast god to grant wishes. I know, I know, just shut up. I was the first warrior she met, and she fell in love with me. A lot of shit happened, and most of us died. When we were reincarnated, we came to this world. I met her again shortly after she returned from her adventure, and we were engaged."

"So you were a character in a book?" he lifted an eyebrow.

"Not a character. It is, well, was, a different world. So we were engaged, but when I was twenty-one and she was nineteen, I died again. I was murdered by a crazy woman who was in love with Miaka and working for an evil deity. Again, long story short, years went by and Miaka met her husband, got married, had Kaena, and then Kaena was kidnapped."

"Holy shit, man! Poor kid." He didn't look so skeptical now. He was riveted, despite Taka leaving out huge key pieces of information.

"Her parents went back into the book to find her, because a really bad sorcerer was trying to use her as a way to get himself free from a curse that bound him to that book. Along the way, I was revived. I guess I was never meant to be killed in the first place, so the gods resurrected me because I had a task to do. But ten years had passed, and Miaka was married and all I wanted was to help them get Kaena back, and we did. That was when the magic started coming into this world, when we merged them. Ever since then, I've had this feeling like she was meant for me. I loved Miaka, but it was never meant to be. That much is obvious now. But she's so young, and her parents . . . they'll kill me outright if they don't see fit to torture me first."

Vinny stared at him for a while. "You're full of it," he laughed. "You really had me going for a minute."

"I'm dead serious," he sighed. "And you're the only person outside that group that knows now. I didn't even tell you the best stuff. But you don't believe me? Well, fine. Hand me that chair. The metal one."

Reluctantly, the man did so. Suddenly, Taka's aura flared to life around him, and Vinny took a step back. He only needed to use a bit of his power, but even Vinny could see the bright aura around him. It didn't hurt that the man had a bit of magic in him himself. The character for oni came to life on his forehead and he took the chair and tied the metal in knots, bending the legs and rungs into a neat bow. He dropped it on the table and let his power die away.

His friend was backed up against the wall, looking at him in shock and terror. He stared at the chair. "How did you do that?"

"I told you. I'm a servant of the beast god, one of the celestial warriors. My name was Tamahome. I'm not telling you this to scare you. I'm him, but also not him. I've been reincarnated and reborn twice now. I don't have all my power, but I have a lot. You have some power in you too. I'm telling you because I want you to understand the damn bind I'm in, and why it's so awkward. I almost feel like I'm betraying Miaka, but at the same time, I never felt for her the way I do about Kaena."

"Holy shit, man! Holy shit. This is the craziest damn thing I've ever heard! Does she have powers too? Like you? So you DIED? What was it like being dead? Do you remember? Jesus fuckin' H. Christ!"

"She has power. Not physically as strong as me, but her mental strength is incredible. You have no idea. And I don't remember anything about death, except being sent back. It was kind of like anesthesia. One minute I was there, then I opened my eyes and everything was different. So you had no idea that there was anything strange about me? All these years?"

"Naw, man, I just thought Japanese people were weird!"

Taka laughed until his side hurt.

"So I have power too? Like you?"

"Not like me. My power comes from the god Suzaku, so it's different, but you have some magic in you. I could help you draw it out," he said, feeling suddenly shy.

"So I could do crazy shit like twist up metal and grab cell phones faster than people can see?"

"Sure, why not?" he laughed. "So you noticed the cell phone thing?"

"I just thought it was because of your jiujitsu or whatever," he shook his head, moving closer to Taka. It did his heart good to see his friend didn't fear him, but was instead somewhat awed and curious. He didn't blame Kaena for hating that feeling of fear and rejection.

"I'm going to go. You call me next week, and you can show me how to do that craziness, yeah?"

"Definitely," he smiled warmly and clapped his friend on the shoulder.

"Personally, if I had that chick in my room, I'd go for it," he said with a grin. Vinny took his keys and headed out the door. Taka locked it behind him.

It took him a few minutes to work up the nerve to knock on the door.

"Come in," she called. He pushed the door open and nearly got a nosebleed. She was sitting on his bed in a baggy t-shirt and underwear. Her long, pale legs were like glossy marble. He longed to run his fingers over her smooth skin.

"Do you need anything?" he asked, not stepping into the room. He didn't trust himself to keep his hands off of her. She set her book down across her slender thighs and he felt a gentle stirring in his pants. He quickly picked up some dirty clothes and held them in front of himself.

She shook her head. "Thank you again," she said, smiling shyly. "Oh, is there a way to turn that light off? I couldn't find a switch" she pointed overhead to a light.

"Yeah, it's on the side of the headboard."

"So if you're reading in bed, you don't have to get up," she said, and smiled when he looked pleased by her deduction. "I have a clapper in my room for that reason."

She turned to look for the switch, but it was well camouflaged. He set down the clothes, hoping his excitement had worn off by now, and reached around her to flip the switch. The bathroom light was still illuminating the bed and the light from the hallway left it pleasantly dim. As he pushed himself up, she shifted slightly and his weight was thrown. Taka lost his balance and felt himself falling. He caught himself, brushing her leg, leaning over her. He felt that familiar stirring again.

She was looking up at him with wide eyes. She looked beautiful in the half-light, with her huge, shining eyes, and pouty lips. Before he knew what he was doing, his lips had touched hers. She drew in breath suddenly, and he paused. When she didn't pull away, he closed his lips over her mouth. It was heaven. She tasted sweet and salty, with a hint of mint. Her lips were softer than he'd imagined, like two silky rose petals. She breathed deeply, and he felt her breasts brush his chest. He wrapped his arm around her, running his fingers through her cornsilk locks. He swung one leg over her body, pulling her gently and lowering her to her back. He could have devoured her forever.

His erection strained against his clothes, and he desperately wished she would reach down and unbuckle his pants, or run her fingers over his chest. But, he realized, she wasn't touching him at all. She wasn't resisting him, but she didn't respond either. He pulled away, panting, face hot, member aching painfully, and looked at her face. She was staring at him with wide eyes, and he realized she was afraid, or at least confused.

He hastily pushed himself up, raking his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Kaena. I didn't bring you here for this. I'll leave you. I'm sorry."

Quickly, he grabbed a pair of shorts and made his escape, pulling the door shut behind him. She was only twenty years old, and she had made no indication that she wanted him to maul her like that. She hadn't resisted him, but she had just laid there. He hadn't taken her to be so passive, and was angry at her for just letting him do that if she didn't want him to. And angry at himself for his stupidity and lack of restraint. He went to the kitchen and downed a glass of water, and then another, trying to cool off.

She was beautiful, and a grown woman. He was sure he wasn't the first man been with, at least judging by her response. She had kissed him back with quite a bit of skill. But her body had been so still. Maybe she was just surprised? Or confused. Suzaku knew he was confused!

Groaning in frustration and having painful flashbacks to he and Miaka jumping apart after getting too hot and heavy, he went to the hall bathroom to take a cold shower, and take care of his little problem.


	4. Chapter 4: Better Left Unsaid

Author's note: Thanks to my faithful reader (if there's more than one out there, I'd love to hear from you!). This chapter contains adult content. Reader discretion is advised!

Chapter Four – Better Left Unsaid

Kaena had laid in bed for a long time before falling asleep. Taka had kissed her. And he had not kissed her how drunken undergraduates had kissed her, or how her brief boyfriends had kissed her. He had kissed her like she was a goddess, and he was privileged to be touching her. His hands were firm yet gentle, and she had just laid there beneath him like a deer in the headlights of an oncoming bus. She had been unable to believe it was happening at first. She had been fantasizing about it for nearly half an hour, and then he'd come in as if he'd read her thoughts. And his mouth was so soft, so sweet. It had taken her two hours to fall asleep after he left. She hadn't wanted him to stop, but she had been nervous. He was obviously experienced, and she was confused. She had overheard some of what he'd said to Vinny about his relationship with her mother, and it was strange, picturing them together like that. Her mother had once told her that her father had been her first, so at least she didn't have to wonder about that. But still, it was strange.

Eventually, she had drifted to sleep. In the morning, she got up and took a quick shower, emerging dressed in dark jeans, pale violet ballet flats, and a turquoise cotton top with flattering rouching around her middle. When she appeared in the living room, hair still wet from the shower, Taka was laying on the couch with his eyes open. She couldn't tell if he was awake or sleeping with his eyes open, so she waved her hand in front of his face.

"Good morning," he said numbly. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes," she said. "I'm going to call my cleaning service. Then we should go shopping for some bedding and curtains. I'll have to replace them. Well, I mean, you don't have to go with me. But you can, if you want."

He smiled tiredly. It didn't look like he'd slept much at all. He pushed himself up, and she could see his bare chest as the covers slid down his body. She felt her cheeks heat, among other things. He got up and stretched, and she couldn't help the tingle that rushed up her spine. Calm down, Kaena! she barked at herself. You're acting like a bitch in heat.

While he was in the bathroom, she called for her cleaning service and warned them of the apparent gruesomeness of the scene. She told them the blood on the wall was paint, and that they should scrub it clean, but that the linens were ruined. Taka emerged, showered, shaven, and dressed a few minutes later.

"Let me treat you to breakfast," he said. "There's a great Korean bakery down the street. Or we could just go to Starbucks, if you prefer."

"Either way," she replied, putting her phone in her pocket. She wanted to tell him that she wasn't upset about last night. He was keeping his distance from her, probably afraid that she would smite him or something. She wasn't angry at all; in fact, she was a little put out that he had run away without even waiting to hear her response. But she didn't want him to force himself, and certainly didn't want to serve as a replacement for her mother.

They walked outside, and Kaena regretted leaving her jacket upstairs. The morning air had some bite to it. The shops were just coming to life, and Kaena found this part of town somewhat charming despite how old an apparently run down it was. Taka looked over at her and obviously noticed she was cold, but didn't offer his jacket. He frowned, and so did she. She didn't want his jacket. The stupid thing probably wouldn't even fit her womanly form, but she was bothered by his apparent reluctance to initiate any type of contact.

They rounded the corner, walking silently, and came upon the bakery just opening. She could smell delicious pastries and piping hot teas brewing. He held the door for her and she went to the counter, perusing the selection. She picked up two frosted pastries in different flavors, and ordered a large cup of orange pekoe. Taka picked a few pieces of fried dough with sugar, and a huge cup of coffee. He paid and led them to a booth near the window, where they would be able to see the flowers and trees outside the glass front.

"Look--" she started.

"I'm sorry about last night," he said at the same time.

"You first," they both said. Taka laughed nervously, and then spoke. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to just jump on you like that. It was stupid and I was a jerk."

"It's all right," she said softly, flushing. "I didn't mind. I was just surprised, and kind of confused. I heard what you said to Vinny, about my mother. I thought it was a little strange, and I was still mulling it over when you appeared. But I wasn't angry or anything. I kind of . . . liked it."

"You seem embarrassed," he grinned. "It's kind of unlike you. But cute. You're just so beautiful. You were sitting there and you looked so sweet and innocent, and I had to touch you, to taste you. It was so stupid to act on my damn hormones. I'm not normally like that. I don't know why I was with you."

Kaena felt her blush deepen. He thought she was beautiful. "You seemed to be good at it," she offered.

"Thanks," he laughed, taking a bite of his pastry and chewing thoughtfully. He gave her an odd look, but the moment passed, as if he'd had some thought but dismissed it. "I'll control myself in the future, I promise."

"I'm attracted to you, too," she blurted out suddenly and then sighed in frustration. "I'm sorry. I'm so awkward."

He laughed again in a good natured way, and then his smile faded. "I know. You have no idea how I feel about you."

She had an idea of it, based on how strained his pants had looked.

"But it's complicated. You're so young. I feel like such an old pervert even thinking of you that way. And you're Nakago's daughter! If we were to pursue this, I would be half in bed with him!"

"Now there's an awful thought," she considered, wondering if her mother had been truthful about her relationship with Taka. She had said it was innocent. Had it been, really? "My father respects my decisions. He won't kill you."

"Let's just try being friends. I know we've known each other for a while, but not as adults, not as friends. That will give me time to decide . . ."

"If I'm worth the trouble?"

"If I'm worth your time."

Kaena sighed and busied herself chewing. After breakfast, she and Taka took a cab to Macy's. She loved the enormous seven-story Macy's department store. Last year when she had been visiting schools, they had gone to see the gigantic Christmas tree, and Kaena had thought it was one of the most beautiful sights she'd ever beheld. Christmas was much more important here than in Japan. But now it was spring, and there wasn't a sign of Christmas in the place. Now everything was decorated with Easter bunnies and soft pastels. They first went to the bedding section, where she tried several different sets before deciding on a pale green set that would match her walls. They then headed to the curtains and picked up thick, canvas curtains that would prevent the sun from waking her in the morning.

"Do you need anything else?" he asked, carrying her bedding.

"No, I don't think so," she said. They passed by the jewelry counter on their way to the register, and Kaena stopped, distracted by a beautiful necklace. The chain was white gold, with a matching pendant that twisted artfully around a single black pearl. She looked at the necklace longingly, but didn't want to buy a necklace for no reason, so she passed it by.

They returned to her apartment, and by the time they arrived, the cleaning crew was just packing up to leave. "That paint was quite strange, but I think we got it all. The goat, though, was stinking awfully fierce by the time we got in. We got rid of it, but the smell might linger for a bit."

"I'll take care of it," she replied. "Thank you."

The crew left, and Taka carried her new bedding and curtains into the room. He set them down and started unpacking everything.

"I heard what you said about my mother," she said as he helped tuck the corners of her top sheet under the mattress. "About you and her, and the book. I didn't realize that was how it was."

"It was a long time ago. I'm not jealous of your father. I was hurt at first, but I knew it wasn't meant to be."

"You know how my parents met, don't you?"

"Sort of. I know how they first knew each other, in the book. They were enemies. I know how they became friends. I was still alive when they met again, but I was obviously dead when they got together."

"Why were they enemies?"

"I don't think I should--"

"Everybody tries to shelter me! I have a right to know. This has affected me before, and it will do so again. I should know why."

He shook his head. "I can't tell you everything. But I will tell you that your mother and Yui-san were drawn into the book at the same time. Miaka became the priestess of Suzaku, and Yui became the priestess of Seiryu. Nakago, your father, was Yui's strongest seishi. Both were trying to gather their seishi and summon their beast gods for various reasons, and that put them at odds."

"My mother and Yui-san were rivals? Enemies?"

"Your father . . . he tricked Yui into thinking something terrible had happened to her, and it made her hate Miaka. She was jealous of my love for Miaka, and Nakago helped her plot to capture me and do a lot of other pretty terrible stuff. But I don't want to badmouth your father. He's not the same man he was then. Don't let that bother you. Everybody does things they regret."

"There's a lot you're not telling me."

"Sorry," he said, throwing the down comforter over the mattress. "It's really not my place to tell you. Obviously, they don't want you to know those things, if they so carefully kept them from you. But they were destined to be together, and so they were. It all worked out."

"Well, thanks for that. At this rate I'll have the whole story in thirty or forty years," she sighed, tossing pillows onto the bed over the fluffy blankets. She had a morbid curiosity about what terrible thing he had tricked Yui-san into believing, and what other things he did. It really didn't seem so bad. So they were enemies, and he had tricked Yui so that he could have her as a priestess. It didn't seem worth all the secrecy.

Together, she and Taka manged to get the curtains hung, and the room looked like a room again. Unfortunately, there was still a stink about the place: something evil and hideous that clung to the walls and carpet. She went to the walls and ran her fingers across them. The animal had been sacrificed to make a point, and its horribly terrified spirit still clung to the room where the blood had been. Not sure why she did it, Kaena opened her spirit, letting her power pour out of her without restraint. Taka took a step back from her. When she opened herself like that, she felt a warmth caress her, enter her, and suddenly her violet aura was bright white, and she was touching the walls and saying words she didn't know. It was as if she watched her body from above, gracefully moving around the room, freeing the spirit of the animal so that it could move onto its next incarnation.

After she had done the same for the place where the goat's body had hung, the power left her and she fell backward onto the bed. Taka came over to her and touched her forehead gently. Knowing the room had been purified, and feeling completely spent, Kaena closed her eyes and fell asleep.

Taka hovered over the young woman who was out cold on the bed. He gently shook her, but she didn't stir. She seemed to be sleeping heavily. He let himself out of her room and was about to go to swipe her leftovers from last night when the phone rang. He looked at the cordless phone sitting in its port until it stopped ringing. They would leave a message, he figured, so he went back to finding his pizza. The girl had more food in her fridge than a restaurant!

Moments later, her cell phone began to buzz, and he looked at it, but it didn't display the caller on the outside. Again, the cordless rang, and finally, Taka picked it up. At least he could tell whoever it was that she was sleeping.

"Hello?" he said.

"Who is this?" a deep, suspicious voice asked.

"A friend of Kaena's. Who is this?"

"Her father."

"Oh, you," Taka said, a sinking feeling in his gut. "It's Taka."

There was silence, and Taka thought they'd lost the line, when he finally spoke again. "What are you doing at my daughter's house?"

"Helping her with some redecorating, but she's sleeping now." He realized it was the wrong thing to say, but it was too late. There was that silence again. "It's a long story."

"I'm sure it is," Nakago said dryly. "What are you really doing there? Tell me."

"Well, now that you mention it, have you made any enemies lately? Kaena called me last night to tell me that her door was open when she got back to her place, and there was a bunch of roses on her kitchen table with a card that said something about thanking you for all you had done. And then there was," he paused, not sure how to describe the grisly scene. "Somebody had killed a goat and hung it in her bedroom, and splashed the walls with its blood. She had a cleaning crew in, but I was helping her put up new curtains and arrange the bedding, since they were ruined by the mess."

"What do you mean, a dead goat?" he demanded. "Explain."

"It's exactly how I said. Calm down. She spent the night at my apartment—don't make that sound, Nakago! She slept in my room and I slept on the couch," he thought guiltily of his stolen kiss. "And today she was doing some magic, some sort of purification, I think, and when she was finished she just fell asleep, which is why I'm here while she's sleeping."

"But she's all right?" his voice was tight with concern.

"She was shaken up, but she seems fine now. Do you have any idea who would do something so disgusting? I hate to ask, but you haven't had anybody killed lately, have you?"

"Don't be stupid," he snapped, and then leveled his voice. "I don't do that anymore. My politics are clean, unlike most of the people in office here. I suppose there are people I have offended, but not enough to harass Kaena like that. I think I will come for a visit."

"I don't think she needs that right now. Besides, if somebody is pissed at you, the last thing you want to do is to walk right into a trap they've laid. What do you want me to do? I can ask my friends to patrol the place periodically, or I can just have her stay at my place."

"If you know what's good for you, Tamahome, you'll leave her alone. I'll handle her safety. Thank you for your help. Now leave her alone. And tell her to call me when you're leaving."

Taka frowned, and bristled at the treatment he was getting. "She's not a child, you know." Again, he knew it was the wrong thing to say before he finished it, but it was out. "And I would feel better if I could be nearby to watch her."

Taka could hear the man arguing with somebody in soft tones on the other end, and tried to make it out. Finally, it seemed like he lost the argument, because a new voice spoke. "Tamahome?"

"Miaka!" he cried, more loudly than he'd intended.

"Is she all right?"

"She's fine, nothing is wrong. Just a threat. But I doubt anybody out there is strong enough to withstand her anger. She's just like your husband in that regard," he muttered.

"Tamahome," Miaka's voice was soft. "Take care of her, please? For me?"

"I'll take care of her for her, Miaka," he replied coldly.

"Thank you. Give her a kiss for me," she said, and the phone changed hands.

"Give her a kiss and I'll pull your tongue out," Nakago said pleasantly, and Taka wasn't sure if he was joking. He thought perhaps not. Before he could respond, he had hung up, and Taka was left holding the receiver. He set it down in its port and sat down on the couch. Damn. He had thought Nakago would be annoyed, but he seemed downright cold blooded. He obviously didn't want anybody coming near his daughter. The poor woman—he wondered how she had ever managed to date at all with that man breathing down any suitor's unlucky neck. Well, Tamahome thought, he had killed the man once. He was sure he could survive another encounter if necessary.

He pushed those thoughts aside. He wasn't doing anything wrong here, and protective as Nakago was of his only daughter, Taka felt just as protective and would do anything to keep her safe, even from himself. He went to her room and sat down on the floor. He would tell her that her parents called, and then he would leave. Maybe it would be best if he left her alone. Finally, Kaena began to stir, and slowly sat up. She looked around the room, seemingly disoriented, but regained her bearings quickly.

"I have to go," he told her. "Your parents called. They wanted you to call back."

"You spoke to my parents?" she seemed to wilt at this news. "I'll never hear the end of this."

"All the more reason for me to go. I think . . ." it pained him, but he knew he had to say it. "It would probably be best if we didn't see each other so much. Call me if you need help, but I think your father is right. I have no business being alone with you. I demonstrated that clearly enough last night. Maybe . . . maybe you should spend some time with that Marsden guy, or somebody else closer to your age."

"Taka, wait," she hopped out of bed, but he was already in the entryway pulling his shoes on. "Don't worry about them. I know you didn't mean to kiss me last night, but it's okay."

"No, it's not, really," he smiled sadly. "Call me if there's an emergency. All right?"

He hurried out of the apartment. Hadn't he played this game with Miaka? But he had learned his lesson last time. Impassioned spirits couldn't conquer everything, and he couldn't do this to her. She was too young, too special, to waste her time with him. And he had Nakago backing up that sentiment.

The next week dragged by. The only highlight in the week was his first lesson with Vinny. The man was slower than molasses in January, and was terribly uncoordinated, but there was something subtle about his power, and Taka wasn't sure how to help him channel it. Tamahome's power was large and brutal: he attacked and killed with his power, using his body as a physical weapon. For a man so large, his powered attacks were ridiculously weak. It hadn't taken him long to learn how to channel that core of magic power into his fists, but Taka had thought the power was too weak to be useful, until suddenly he had sat down and touched the floor with his hands. The dirt had shifted slightly at his touch. When Taka, magical aura expanded, stepped on the grains of sand, they exploded into his face. It didn't hurt, but it blinded him for a minute.

"Taka!" the man leaped to his feet, horrified. "I'm sorry, I didn't do that on purpose. I was just feeling the ground, and started thinking about the molecules—you know I teach earth science, right? And then they sort of spoke to me."

Taka rubbed his eyes and then looked at his fuzzily outlined friend. "That was pretty incredible!" he said enthusiastically. "I thought you were just weak, but it turns out your power isn't suited to physical attacks. That must be why. Your power is much more subtle."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I need to consult with a friend to see about teaching me how to teach you," he said. "Practice what I taught you, but also experiment, carefully. Let's meet here again next week."

Vinny, his large Italian friend, nodded and they parted ways. That had been the best part of his week. Without Kaena, he felt empty and snappish. He didn't want to deal with his students or Lena, who seemed course and unsubtle compared to Kaena. He wanted to hold her, to feel her body under his again, but he knew that was wrong. He couldn't risk hurting her, or being hurt himself.

The rest of the week was torture, and each day it became harder to resist calling Kaena up and begging to see her. Friday night, cranky and miserable, he returned to his apartment only to find the door had been opened. It hadn't been jimmied. He pushed the door open, and erected a shield around himself. He walked into the living room and spotted the card sitting on the coffee table. He picked it up.

"Dear seishi of Suzaku,

You have betrayed us all by allying with the spawn of evil. Your protection of the girl ends now. I don't think you'll have the same good fortune again. Good bye."

Taka looked at the card front and back. There was a picture of a rolling farm on the card. It said: "Iowa: Fields of Opportunity." He set it down and looked around. There didn't seem to be anything odd about it, and he couldn't sense anything. Maybe it was just another scare tactic. Carefully, he went to his bedroom and flipped on the light. Something clicked beneath his feet as he entered the room, and flames erupted from the walls. Taka shouted and jumped back, and watched in horror as his book collection ignited. He spotted the one thing that was truly important to him, the pictures of his family, darted into the blazing room and grabbed it, grabbed his leather shoulder bag, and hit the fire alarm in the hall as he fled. He saw the other tenants poke their heads out, and he shouted for them to leave, that his apartment was on fire. Some neighbor pulled out a phone and dialed 911. As Taka stood in front of his apartment building and watched it burn to the ground, he wondered who would destroy the homes of an entire building full of people to try to kill him? And who would be bad enough at it to fail?

Taka shook his head and started making phone calls. His first instinct was to call Kaena, but he resisted the urge and started calling his friends instead. Vinny had family visiting, and half his friends didn't even answer their phones. The ones that did couldn't take him for the night for various reasons. He didn't tell them why he needed a place to crash, though, since he didn't want to worry them. Or maybe he just wanted an excuse to call Kaena. He had resigned himself to spending the night in a motel, but he looked at his phone and saw a text from Kaena.

"Out with Marsden, and he keeps trying to neck me. Call me to give me an excuse to leave."

Taka looked at the message, puzzled. He figured if she didn't want him groping her, she'd just leave. He looked at the time: that was nearly an hour ago. He called her, holding his ear to his phone.

"Hello?" she asked, sounding breathless.

"Hi, I got your text, sorry I didn't call sooner."

"Who is it? Call them back," came Marsden's teasing voice.

"So, my apartment burned down," he said casually.

"I can't say that, that's ridiculous," she huffed.

"No, I'm not just trying to give you an excuse. Somebody left another note, and then when I went into my bedroom, I must have stepped on a wire or something because the whole place went up in flames. You can probably see the smoke if you're close enough. Vinny and the others are all busy or just not answering, which means they're, uh, busy. I was going to just stay at a hotel."

"You're serious?" she said, and he heard Marsden say something muffled in the background. She hushed him angrily. "Your apartment really burned down?"

"Can I stay with you?"

"Of course. I'll meet you at my place in fifteen minutes. Marsden, take me to the bus station. Never mind, I'll take a cab," he heard, and then she hung up.

Taka looked down at the pictures in his hands, the only two things left of his life here. Fire engines were flashing and men in yellow suits carried hoses and axes, running in to rescue those who were still trapped. He stared at the unbelievable scene for another minute, then started toward the bus station. He supposed he should make a statement or something to the police, but he couldn't bring himself to stay. He would just have to call tomorrow.

The bus ride didn't take long, and he was met by Kaena at the bus stop. She ran up to him and grabbed his shoulders, examining him closely. "Are you all right? What happened?"

He looked longingly at the door, and the woman took his hand and led him inside. They took the elevator instead of the stairs, and he kicked his shoes off when he reached the doorway, and he sat down on the couch at Kaena's behest. She sat down on the coffee table so she faced him.

"Are you sure you're not hurt? You look singed," her big blue eyes held concern, and he was touched.

"I'm fine, I shielded when I saw the door was open. There was a card on the table saying I had betrayed them all by serving you. It was a post card of Iowa. Then I went into my room and stepped on something . . . I'm not sure what, but it kind of clicked, and then the room just caught fire."

Kaena frowned. "Did you pick up the card?"

"I didn't think of it," he raked his fingers through his hair and set down the two photographs on the table. "This was all I had time to grab, and my briefcase. At least I got my ID so I can get another passport."

"They said you betrayed them? Him, her?"

"No idea."

"So then this is probably from the same country as you, somebody who expected you to be loyal to my mother and not to my father."

"Somebody from Konan, yeah," he sighed and rubbed soot onto his face from his blackened hands.

"You should get a shower," she stood up and motioned for him to follow. He did so, still reeling and unable to resist her suggestion. She pushed him into the bathroom and shut the door. He heard her in the bedroom next door making a phone call, but couldn't tell to whom she spoke. Taka pushed it out of his head and turned on the water. The bathroom was beautiful with its white marble countertops and floors, and huge granite tub. He stepped under the spray and picked one of the soaps that didn't smell like fruit or flowers. Funny, Kaena didn't seem the type to use fragrances like that. He looked at one of the pink little soaps scattered around, and realized they were all completely unused. They were probably a gift from Miaka, he chuckled to himself.

He was startled when the door opened. "Kaena?"

"I'm washing your clothes," she informed him.

"But what will I wear tonight?" he called, but she had already shut the door again. He closed his eyes and let the heat soak into his tight muscles. Somebody was clearly after them, but who could have connected them so easily? He'd only run into her a little more than a week ago. And why now? He'd been minding his own business for ten years here, despite his association with Nakago and the other Seiryu seishi nothing like this had ever happened before. But then, he reminded himself, enough time had passed that maybe those children with magic powers were maturing, and memories from the other world were just starting to feel real to many people.

Now would be a really good time to visit Japan, he thought. But he couldn't leave Kaena here undefended. Kaena was incredibly powerful, but her gifts were different from his, and not as oriented to the physical, though she seemed able to take care of herself nonetheless. Still, he would be too anxious leaving her here. Like it or not, he had been reborn as her seishi, not Miaka's, and his responsibility was to her.

Taka turned off the water and took a fluffy towel from the rack, drying himself and then wrapping it around his waist. He peeked out the door, and then stepped into the hallway. "Kaena?" he called.

"In here," her voice floated from the direction of her bedroom. He wavered for a minute, unsure what to do, but she poked her head out.

"I need some clothes," he said.

"Come in, I'll see if I have anything you can wear," she said, motioning for him to follow. He liked her manner like this. It was like she was in clean-up mode. Miaka sometimes got into that mode when something went awry. Rather than sitting around moping or weeping, she kicked into action and became the executor and organizer of the century. This crisis had clearly brought that same trait out in Kaena.

"I somehow doubt your clothes will fit me," he said, looking at her slim, womanly frame pointedly as she leaned into the closet and dug through a big plastic bin. She tossed some clothes to the floor, and finally found something. She unfolded the shirt and held it out. It was a man's t-shirt, and it looked big enough for a gorilla. Sheesh, was this some old monstrous boyfriend's shirt? She tossed it to him and went back to digging. He took another step closer, peering over her shoulder. He felt like a creep snooping around her closet, but he was curious. It was organized, with various pairs of flat shoes and the occasional pair of heels, arranged chromatically on the floor. Her slacks and dresses were neatly hung, and her sweaters and jeans were folded on shelves.

Obviously finding what she needed, she suddenly straightened, and backed right into him. He felt his body respond to her touch and willed himself to calm down.

"Sorry," he apologized, trying to step aside, but she moved in the same way as him, and they kept bumping. "One of us has to pick a direction."

Kaena laughed nervously, stepping back until her shoulders were buried in hanging clothes. He stepped left and she moved to the right around him. She held up a pair of athletic shorts and handed them to him. Their fingers brushed, and he felt that jolt of electricity pass between them and wanted nothing more than to grab her and ravish her on the great big bed behind them. She looked up at him, her expression utterly unreadable.

"Old boyfriend's clothes?" he asked, breaking the awkward moment.

"The shirt is my father's, and the shorts were a friend's," she said quietly.

"Maybe I'll just take the shorts," he laughed nervously. She was looking at him oddly now, her eyes wide, lips slightly parted.

"I'm glad you're all right."

He smiled. "Glad I could help. What were you doing with that Marsden guy? Not that it's my business," he added. She had drifted closer to him, and they were almost touching again.

"Why? Are you jealous?" her voice was barely audible.

"A little."

Suddenly, she stretched her body forward and kissed him. He yielded, dropping the clothes, wrapping his arms around her. His fingers ran slowly through her hair and he cradled her head, his other hand on the small of her back. He tightened his grip, drawing her soft body close against him.

Her hands were on his shoulders, and she was breathing hard. He could feel the tenseness in her body, a nervous kind of excitement. She touched his face, and he thought he would die of happiness. Her long, delicate fingers were smooth against his skin, and cool. Taka turned them, directing their bodies so that her knees just bumped the back of the mattress. She paused, but took a deep breath and continued, this time her hands moved to his hair.

Gently, easily, he lifted her and laid her down on the bed, straddling her. She sat up against the pillows, her eyes dark with desire, her peachy skin flushed. He could see her heaving breasts, straining against the shiny silk of her blouse. His towel slipped open, and he flushed, leaning forward with a half grin on his face. Kaena's face turned red as the fire engines outside his apartment, and he reached forward, grasping her face between his hands.

"What were you doing with that guy?"

"We went to a concert," she replied, her hands lightly touching his pecs with wonder. She looked back up to his face. "Then we were going to a coffee shop, but it was dark and quiet and he kept trying to kiss me."

"Why didn't you leave?"

"I don't know. I had this strange feeling come over me," she replied, and now her hands were running over his muscular deltoids, and his mind was slipping away. There was nothing between her eyes and his erect member, and he felt a little embarrassed by his own eagerness. But she seemed pretty eager too. "All I could think about was kissing you instead."

Taka didn't need to be told twice. He brought his lips to hers and she inhaled deeply, breasts brushing against his chest. He couldn't stand the feel of the fabric between them anymore, so he untied the sash of her shiny top and undid the little hook-in-eye clasps. He pulled away from her mouth for a minute to look at her. She was panting, her lips red and swollen from the pressure of his against them. He saw some conflict in her face, but her hands were touching his body, exploring timidly, like a little child experiencing the world for the first time through touch. He unzipped her grey slacks and pulled them over her round hips. He stared down at her in silence, worshipfully. She was a goddess. Everything about her was as perfect as humanly possible. Even the pale pink scars from various injuries in her youth were perfect. He kissed down her body, paying attention to her pert, round breasts. They weren't large, but they weren't small either, and they were creamy and soft, and his mouth yearned to taste them. He unsnapped her bra, exposing her, and she flushed again, bringing her hands across her chest.

"You're different than I expected," he said softly, smiling down at her. "Not that I've been fantasizing about this for the last few years."

She laughed softly, her deep blush not abating one bit, and he gently pinned her hands down at her side so that he could reach her beautiful bosoms unimpeded. She turned her head and arched slightly at his attention. There was a tension about her, but she responded to his every touch, and when he released her hands, they went back to his shoulders and head, touching his hair, drawing his lips to hers. Still kissing her, he looped his fingers under the band of her panties, and began to pull them down.

Kaena paused in her kissing, looking at his face for a long moment before she released him so he could pull them all the way down. She kicked them off, and then he sat back on his feet and simply stared at her. She was lovely, from her soft, smooth skin down to the pale curls that trailed between her legs.

Taka was painfully aroused, and something in him shouted for him to stop, that this was wrong, but that voice had shouted at him before, and he had lost out on love before. He saw his wallet on the night stand and grabbed the condom he kept inside it, rolling it on rapidly. He parted her thighs and slid between them, bringing his lips to her throat, kissing and tasting every inch of her. She tasted so sweet, so perfect. He parted her opening, and thrust forward gently, sheathing himself inside her. She gasped softly, her fingers tightening against his shoulders almost painfully. He paused, waiting for her to relax again. He looked in her blue eyes, shining and bright, and then began to move, slowly at first, then more quickly. He reached between her thighs and began to gently massage her, and she released a soft cry of pleasure in response. He continued to move, and her body arched in pleasure, her voice quietly expressing her enjoyment. Finally, she released a long sigh, and he felt her delicately ripple around him.

Taka continued, kissing her fiercely as he finally went over the edge. His own voice cried to heaven for a moment, and then he fell forward, shakily supporting himself over her. She was laying there with an oddly blank expression on her pretty face. Sweat dappled her forehead and rolled down her cheeks.

He pulled out and threw away the condom in the waste basket by the bedside table. He rolled to his side and pulled her slim body with him, wrapping his arms around her.

Kaena buried her face against his chest, her hands resting against his chest, knees curled against her body. He kissed the top of her head and was suddenly overtaken with exhaustion. He wanted to stay up, to talk to her, to massage her and hold her, but his eyelids were like lead, and he drifted off to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5: Love's Pain

Chapter Five – Love's Pain

Kaena laid silently against him. Her body was sore and she was confused, and felt a little like crying. Tears spilled slowly down her cheeks. She was happy to be there with him; somebody had accepted her, hadn't run from her. But she hadn't imagined her first time would be like this at all. It had been intense, and so fast. Not that she hadn't enjoyed it; he had made quite sure she did, but she had only really known him as a man for a few days. She knew in her heart that he was the man for her, but something caused her pain, beyond the physical ache she felt between her legs and in her tight muscles. She felt it was too soon. She hoped that her allowance didn't cost them their budding relationship. And, she thought, he didn't seem to know that she had been a virgin. She hadn't mentioned it, and she had a feeling things would have been different had he known. But she wouldn't tell him. She didn't want to hang something like that over him.

She didn't sleep for a long time. He dozed peacefully with his strong arms wrapped around her, and finally she drifted off.

She woke up alone in the morning, and heard him in the kitchen, so she pulled a robe around her naked body, wincing as she walked, and went to find him.

He looked at her, and a slow, sad smile curved his warm, sweet lips. She approached slowly, feeling shy. She wanted him to wrap his arms around her again and assure her that he loved her, truly. Instead he set down the knife he'd been using to spread butter on toast.

"I think," he started, his hands clutching the counter top. "This was a mistake."

Kaena felt her heart slowly sinking. She snapped her head up and met his gaze. He looked away, and she saw shame there. She squeezed her hands into fists, and found herself nodding. It had to be too good to be true. He had felt the attraction, but he couldn't bring himself to stay with her, to risk being with one like her. The dryer buzzed in the laundry room.

"Those are my clothes," he said. "I should probably go. I'll get a hotel room or something . . . I'll call you later, okay? For what it's worth, thank you, and I'm sorry."

She watched in silence as he went to the laundry room, and emerged a few moments later dressed in his dark jeans and blue t-shirt. He went to the door and put on his shoes, grabbed his bag, and gave her one last backward glance before he left.

Kaena sat down hard on the floor as soon as he'd gone. He was gone, and she was heart sick and felt so stupid. She couldn't believe she had gone to bed with him so easily. She had, in her own awkward, virginal way, wanted him, but he had only wanted her body. Tears welled up from deep inside her, and she sobbed wretchedly, hiding her head in her hands.

Nakago sat in his study and stretched. It was almost midnight and Miaka had gone to bed hours before. He took off his reading glasses and rubbed his tired eyes, annoyed at them for being old and needing the reading glasses at all. He still had work to do, but he couldn't stare at words on a screen any longer. Sighing, he closed the laptop and leaned back in his chair.

He was worried about Kaena. He knew in his heart that she should have been informed long ago about the circumstances surrounding all the odd events that led to her kidnapping, but it was so hard to introduce such terrible things to such an innocent face. Even if he knew that behind that quiet, solemn demeanor was a blazing goddess with power beyond his imagining. And now things were starting to happen again that pertained to those events, and she was blinded by her parents from the truth. He had come to terms with who he had been, as had Miaka and even her seishi, but the idea of shattering the illusion of her loving, kind papa was almost unbearable.

In many ways she was wise beyond her years. She could see the hearts of people, could look through them and know them before they even knew themselves. She could manipulate chance and fate in a way that, as far as he knew, no other magician could do. And yet, she was still just a child. Miaka had been older when the events in the book occurred, had lived a harder life. Kaena had been a young child, had been changed by it, and had never, seemingly, entirely recovered. She had no idea the guilt he still harbored because of that.

He had seen her go from such a trusting, open child, to a child that very much reminded Nakago of himself. He knew the pain of being a warrior apart, of being too strong, too strange, too lovely to ever be seen as a human. He knew the awful loneliness. And she had begun to shy away from other children, even her closest friends. She had focused her energy on studying her school work and magic, but never allowed herself to come close, even to her mentor Chichiri. Her parents were her friends, but Nakago knew they would not be around forever. Had she been permanently stunted by his sins? By his stupidity? If only they hadn't left her alone, it would never have happened.

He hated to watch her struggle to make friends, struggle to believe that others could like her for her. After a few salient rejections by people who sensed just a little too much power, just a little too much strangeness about her, and she had come to believe they would all treat her that way. And hadn't Nakago gone inside himself that same way, to protect his delicate soul from the pain of the emperor's abuse, and the pain of the loss of all he had known? Yes, she was her father's daughter, and he was very sorry for that.

Sighing, he stood up, his body not as spry as it once was, feeling the ache of sitting too long. Just as he was about to leave the room, the phone began to ring. He had a sense that he should answer, so he did.

"Hello?"

"Papa," his daughter's voice was soft. Something was wrong.

"What is it?" he asked, trying to keep the urgency out of his voice. His daughter was the thing that he cared about most in the world. Miaka was his lover, but she was a woman all her own. His daughter still struggled to find herself on a daily basis, and still sometimes needed her daddy. And a father always knew when something was wrong.

She started to say something, but then her voice broke, and she sobbed. Nakago felt his heart breaking listening to the hopeless, quiet weeping. He wanted to reach through the phone and put her on his knee, bouncing her up and down like a baby again, but she was a woman, and she was thousands of miles away.

"Kaena," he said firmly. "Stop."

Her breathing was ragged and uneven, but she gained control.

"Tell me what's wrong."

"I can't," she whispered.

"Then tell me what I can do to help you."

There was a long silence, followed by a few more shuddering sobs. Finally, voice strained, struggling to remain even, she said, "Tell me somebody will love me someday."

Three days passed without a word from Kaena. He felt horrible for taking advantage of her hospitality like that. He hadn't intended that at all when he went to her, but she had been irresistible Still, he longed to hear her voice, to listen to her tell the secrets of the universe, secrets he knew she had inside. He longed to stand before her, to protect her. Instead, he had made love to her, and left without so much as another word. He kicked himself mentally for it.

In his defense, his life had been made plenty complicated by the fire. He'd had to talk to the police several times, and then to his insurance company. There were inspections and interviews, but there was nothing left of his place, so he'd also been forced to go in search of a new place, new furniture, and new clothes. Things he really couldn't particularly afford on his salary. At least, he thought gratefully, he hadn't paid last month's rent yet. He hoped the insurance checks would come soon.

Taka went through his days in a fog. His students ran all over him and he didn't care. He let them do what they wanted, and sat at his desk and drew the kanji of her name over and over. He desperately wanted to see her, but knew it was wrong. It had been so wrong to sleep with her, but to try to continue a relationship with her would be worse.

He laid his head down on his desk, defeated, and his eyes began to slip shut despite the chaos around him.

Taka opened his eyes. He was standing in the middle of a corn field in what appeared to be Konan. The fields were on fire, and civilians were scattering to avoid the arrows falling like rain from above. Taka looked at his hands—they were very small, those of a child just before adolescence. He scanned the field, and he saw a woman running away from a man on horseback. He knew that woman was his mother, and he chased after her. The man was laughing, and grabbed her from behind, throwing her across his lap. She struggled, but he hit her hard on the head.

Then Taka saw the man he knew was his father, and he was chasing the horseman on foot, screaming for his wife. Taka felt the tears sliding down his face, and hopelessness overwhelmed him. Then he saw the blonde warrior, with eyes like ice and the symbol of kokoro blazing upon his forehead. Taka burned with hatred.

Suddenly, the scene was different. He saw Kaena, but instead of her usual complementary pastels, she wore all black, and her hair was tied in a topknot with a gleaming, red ribbon. She stood with her back to him, her head cocked slightly so she peered over her shoulders. The woman held up her slender, graceful hand and closed her fingers into a fist. Suddenly, a web around him began to twist and change. He could see the shining strands, and he was within the web. Vaguely he heard screaming, wailing coming from the strands. She smiled coldly, and crimson droplets began to outline the web. The screaming grew louder until it was deafening, and he covered his ears to escape it, but it was ringing inside his head like a gong.

He sat bolt upright, and his students were staring at him. The bell rang. Mouth dry, unable to really articulate anything, he looked at them and quietly said, "Class dismissed."

Silently, his students left, and he was alone, with the image of a cold and cruel goddess tattooed upon his mind.

Kaena silently walked into the classroom where her very favorite course, Friday's 3 PM class on religion in the modern world. She sat down at the table, fifteen minutes early. Her professor blew into the room in a whirlwind, skidding to a halt in front of the tech cart and powering the computer up. He looked flustered, like his day was not going well, and finally he glanced up and noticed her for the first time.

"Oh, hello, Kaena," he said. "I've been meaning to talk to you. Can you shut the door?"

Kaena silently shut the door. All week she had made it a point to come in with just enough time to take her seat and escape as soon as she was dismissed, but she had miscalculated and come too soon.

"Would you mind stapling these? They weren't collated for some reason," he handed her a stack of papers and went to opening up his presentation on the computer. Kaena began to stack and staple the handouts without speaking. Dr. Jamison rapidly clicked the mouse in order to open several different tabs. Today was apparently going to be media heavy. He started to help her, reaching for the stapler and accidentally brushed her hand. She yanked her hand away like he was a spitting, hissing viper. She bowed her head and felt a wave of tears overtake her.

"I wanted to talk to you about what I said the other—Kaena? Are you all right?" he asked, concern evident in his voice. She looked up shamefully, brushing her tears. She started to make her escape, mumbling something about not feeling well, but he caught her arm. Automatically, she swelled her power, and suddenly the covering from the overhead light exploded, showering them with broken plastic. One large chunk crashed down on her professor's arm but he didn't seem to notice. Kaena covered her face and sobbed more wretchedly.

"Leave me alone," she cried. "Please, just let me go."

Somebody started to open the door and her professor swiftly moved, leaning against it. "Class is canceled today," he called to the student. "Spread the word."

"Sir?"

"Don't argue. Go home, enjoy your Friday afternoon."

"Awesome!" she heard through the door. There was a brief chatter as the students spread the word and disappeared down the hallway, leaving them alone.

"Come with me," he picked up her bag and led her by the arm toward his office. Being the end of the day on Friday, they didn't run into anybody except a few undergrads racing to somebody's office to turn in an assignment before their deadlines. Unwilling and unable to rally against him, Kaena allowed him to lead her to a soft chair. He turned away from her for a moment, then handed her a steaming cup of green tea.

She looked up at him. He was in his early thirties, with black hair and green eyes, and thick black-framed glasses. His button down shirt and sweater vest gave him the air of a truly nerdy academic, which is something she had hated about him before. Now she found it slightly reassuring.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing," she lied pathetically. She wasn't about to divulge her secrets to this professor that she didn't even like, who clearly didn't like her. She sipped the tea. It was strong and bitter, and reminded her of home, which only made her cry harder. He handed her a tissue.

"I wanted to apologize about what I said to you week before last. I shouldn't have implied you were immature. After all, I don't know anything about your situation, except the gossip I hear around the department. It's easy to make a judgment based on one class, but it's not always a good one."

"You were right," she said softly. "I'm an immature idiot. I don't know anything about life or, or," her breath hitched and she hated herself a little for that. "People, or anything."

"I don't think that's true. But you do seem very guarded. I don't know why that is, and it's not my business, but it makes you really easy to dislike, especially since you can't be faulted for anything else. You're an exemplary student, you come to class, you contribute to discussion . . . I was unfair, and I apologize. I hope that isn't what has you upset."

Kaena couldn't take it anymore. She blurted out half the story about her parents' friend and how she really liked him but she was stupid and awkward and didn't know how to deal with him and had really liked him, but people were afraid of her, and then she had gone and slept with him and he hadn't wanted anything to do with her after. She sobbed as she spoke, and felt ridiculous telling all this to her teacher. "And I know it's because I'm so different. He's afraid of me. They're always afraid of me."

"Because you can do things like make the light explode?" he asked carefully.

She snapped her head up. "I didn't—I mean, it wasn't . . ." she trailed off, unable to take her eyes off of his. He wasn't looking at her with fear or accusation, though. He looked thoughtful.

She looked at his hand as it moved toward her cup. He didn't touch it, but it floated slowly out of her hand. He suspended it below his hands, not touching the rim of it, and then set it back down on the desk that he leaned against.

"I knew the moment I saw you," he said. "But your power is different than mine. I can use the power of my mind to move objects, and you do something similar, but even if the results are the same, the methods are completely different. What is it that you do?"

"I'm not really sure," she said softly, taking the cup and examining it carefully. "I think it has to do with chance. You know, like probabilities, and fate. But I'm not sure how I do it or even how to control it. The people who taught me to use my chi didn't know how to teach me to control my power because they didn't know exactly how it worked."

"And this man, Taka, he's one of us? He can use his chi energy like us?"

"Sort of. It's a really long story," she sighed. "He knows. I know he knows there's something dangerous about me. I thought he was okay with it. I thought he understood."

"Maybe he's not scared of you," her teacher said gently. "Maybe he's afraid of hurting you, or himself."

"Not all of us fear you. I won't lie, I have a hard time liking you, because you so openly abhor my class. Academics are sensitive, you know. But I could tell you had a strange power, and I was curious, not fearful. Marsden is the same way. I'm not sure if he's aware, but he's drawn to you."

"Why didn't you say anything, Dr. Jamison?" she was completely awestruck.

"Call me Luke," he said offhand, and then seemed a little embarrassed. "I didn't say anything because I was drawn to you despite my annoyance. This might sound weird or creepy, but I feel like we were meant to meet, like I'm meant to help you."

"The seishi are drawn to the priestess," Kaena said softly. But she couldn't be a priestess—she wasn't a virgin anymore. Then again, being a priestess was about more than summoning, and her relationship with the Preserver hadn't changed since last weekend, as far as she knew. "You're one of my warriors."

"For good or ill," he said with a laugh, pushing up his glasses. "I'm not much of a fighter, though. And I don't like dirt, or blood."

She smiled slightly, and he smiled more broadly.

"I knew you had a smile in you somewhere. Try not to worry so much about what other people think of you. Most people don't care one way or the other about you, and the ones that do care and matter will see you, not all this," he gestured vaguely at her. "Strangeness of all varieties."

"Thanks," she said softly, shyly. "Dr.--Luke. Can I come by your office again sometime?"

"Anytime."

Kaena picked up her bag and thanked him again. She took the train back to her apartment, and walked the last few blocks with lighter steps than she'd had in days. She took the stairs to her condo and unlocked the door. She wasn't happy, but she didn't feel like her world had ended. She had been assuming Taka had left because of her, but maybe it wasn't her at all. There could be a perfectly good explanation.

She opened the door and set her keys down on the corner table in the foyer and kicked off her shoes, dropping her bag on the floor. She walked toward the kitchen, but froze. Somebody was sitting on her couch. She whirled around. There sat a tall, good looking older man, blonde hair peppered with grey at the temples, ice blue eyes that matched her own, and an impeccable pinstriped grey suit.

"Papa," she said.

Nakago took off his reading glasses, closed his book, and smiled cooly. There was love, and anger, in his cerulean gaze.

Kaena couldn't bear being dignified when her papa had come to see her, so she dashed across the room and was met with open arms. He engulfed her, still so warm and strong, still her wonderful father. She squeezed him tightly and felt tears welling in her eyes. After she had called him weeping, he had come out to make sure she was all right.

He brushed her pale hair, a touch more golden than his white-blonde strands, out of her eyes and sat down, scooping her up so she was pressed against his side. She was too old to cuddle with her parents like this, and so much bigger than her mother that it was absolutely ridiculous to try, but she was upset and lonely and wanted her daddy. She buried her head against his side.

"Tell me what's wrong. Why did you call me in tears last weekend?"

She shook her head. "It was nothing. It was stupid. I'm fine now."

"Fine, but not yourself."

"I don't even know what myself is anymore," she sighed.

Her father gently pulled away from her, looking down at her. Their faces were so similar. Her face was soft where his was angular, and her features were smaller, slightly finer, but they were a mirror in many ways. He picked up her long-fingered hands and looked into eyes that were the same shade as his.

"You are Kaena," he said firmly, and she looked away, embarrassed. She felt him looking into her in that disconcerting way that she herself had of looking at people's souls. It was something he said he picked up from her mother. "I knew from the moment you were born that there was something unusual about you, something strong. But I fear . . ." he paused, looking uncomfortable himself. She wanted to tell him it was okay, he didn't need to make himself uncomfortable, but he pressed on. "I fear I have left too much of myself in you. You fear others can see you, will judge you or hurt you, so you close them out before they have the chance. I am the master of that particular skill, but it hasn't served me well."

"I don't know how to be any other way," she sighed. "I see how mother trusts everyone, and gives them all a chance, and I don't understand how she can let herself be so exposed. It seems almost foolish."

"That's the deception. It seems foolish to risk, but to your mother, it's even more foolish to miss out on all the good things for fear of the bad things. If you risk nothing, you gain nothing, or so she has told me."

"Your risked a lot for her, didn't you?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Tell me how you met," she pleaded.

He hesitated. "Tell me what happened that resulted in you crying."

"It's embarrassing. You don't want to hear it."

He winced. She was sure he could imagine what it was about, but he reluctantly nodded.

"You first," she said.

Her father took a deep breath and began to speak. "You have to keep in mind this was a lifetime ago. I won't tell you everything, but I will tell you enough, for now. I don't want you to think less of me for it. I think you know that your mother was the priestess of Suzaku, yes? Her friend Yui became the priestess of Seiryu. She wasn't willing at first, but I convinced her, and eventually we schemed together to gather all the seishi and summon the beast god. Most of your mother's seishi were killed, but in the end Tamahome defeated me and I died. Your mother went back to her life, but several months later, Tamahome came to the real world. He had been reincarnated in her world, and they were engaged. I had also been reincarnated, and regained my memories over a period of about a year. One night I was dining and ran into a young man whose name I recognized. He thought I was one of your mother's seishi returned, and I, being somewhat curious and being a bit of a bastard, wanted to see her. So I tagged along and went to the apartment they shared. She was about eighteen at the time.

"She was, understandably, upset by meeting me, and retreated to her room for a while. Keisuke didn't know what he'd done wrong," his lips curved at this. "While I was there, the ShiJinTenshiSho began to glow and pulled the two of us inside it. As it turned out, one of my colleagues, the seishi Miboshi, was trying to break down the barrier between the hells and release the four counterpart deities who serve Tenkou. Taiitsukun said she needed the two of us to stop this, but really she was just trying to bring us together. To make a long story shorter, we defeated Miboshi and sealed the gods, and parted ways. Your mother was still engaged to Tamahome, and though she didn't hate me, we weren't what you could consider close.

"Then two years later, a woman named Nifei murdered Tamahome. Your mother had a hard time dealing with it, but when the woman who she thought was her friend invited her on a luxury cruise, her friends encouraged her to go, so she did. I happened to also be on that cruise, and we discovered that somebody was trying to kill me. My suite-mate was murdered, and your mother was seriously injured when an attempt on me got her instead. That's why you don't have any brothers or sisters. Her uterus was damaged and the doctors didn't think it would be safe. Anyway, we were growing closer on the cruise, and on the anniversary of Tamahome's death, your mother got very drunk and almost did something very stupid. I stopped her, and something changed between us. When pirates took over the ship, they took her in order to lure me out, which was a . . . miscalculation.

"Miaka's friend, Nifei, who had killed Tamahome, was also trying to kill me, and was working with the demon pirates. I think they had some sort of deal. But she was betrayed, and the demons got what they were looking for. After that ordeal, I told your mother she was going to marry me, and she didn't argue, so I assumed she was up for it. That story leads into why you were kidnapped, but that's a story for another time."

Kaena thought that was a very interesting story, but didn't understand why that was worth keeping from her. She suspected there were still important things that he was not telling her, but he had said he would tell her some, and he had been more forthcoming than ever before, so she thought there was no way out of telling her tale. "How did you finally accept her? How did you let her in?"

"I still don't think I did so intentionally. She found a hole and burrowed in."

"What made you so . . . reluctant?"

He shook his head. "That is something I won't tell you. At least, not yet. Now it's your turn."

"Promise you won't be mad at me," she pleaded, lowering her face in shame. "And don't kill him, either."

"Who is 'him'?"

"Taka."

Nakago's mouth turned into a hard line, but he nodded curtly. "I won't kill him. May I maim him?"

"Papa!" she cried, and he made an annoyed kind of grunt, and motioned for her to continue. "You have to understand what we feel for each other. Don't look at me that way, this isn't some childish crush. Taka said that he's known we had a connection since that incident in hell. He saw a vision or something, of us. He didn't really elaborate. So when we met by chance a few weeks ago, he was happy and was obviously attracted to me, but he's thirty-four and thought he was being creepy and gross, so he tried to just be my friend. It was obviously hard for him, though, and the night that I stayed at his apartment, he kissed me. We, well, we were in his bed, he climbed over me, but then suddenly came back to himself and ran away."

"That was wise of him," Nakago said through clenched teeth.

"I told him the next day I didn't mind, but he apologized anyway and said he would control himself. Then later that day we were here and I fell asleep after purifying the room and when I woke up he was sort of beside himself and ran away again, and I didn't hear from him until this week when somebody burned down his apartment."

"What? Was this intentional, or did some idiot leave their toaster oven on?"

"The police think arson. So, he called all his friends but nobody could help him, and he was going to just get a hotel, but I had sent him a text message because I was out with another graduate student in the department. He's kind of a moron and I don't really like him, but," she paused, frowning thoughtfully. "We were in his car making out, and I'm not sure why. I don't think he drugged me, but I felt . . . not myself. But I sent Taka a text to call me to give me an excuse to leave, and I guess he got it while he was about to get a hotel, so I had the perfect excuse to leave and we met here."

She lowered her head. She did not want to tell her father this, but she didn't really have anybody else to tell, and she thought that if he could keep his cool, she might be able to get some decent advice out of him. "He was shaken up from the fire and that it seemed like somebody was trying to kill him, and he was covered in soot so I made him take a shower, and I took his dirty clothes to wash, so when he came out of the bathroom in a towel he asked me to find him some clothes. I dug up an old pair of shorts that I don't even remember where I got them, and one of your shirts, and he was standing right behind me and we kind of bumped," she blushed and lowered her head further. She could see his ice-chip eyes glinting as if he knew what was coming. "And before we knew it, we were kissing and then . . . we were in bed, and . . . I didn't really mean for it to happen, but it did. It wasn't, I mean, it wasn't what I expected my . . . my first time to be like."

She glanced up at him. He was sitting still as a statue, but for a muscle twitching in his jaw. "And this is why you were crying? Did he," he grimaced like he had bitten into a lemon. "Did he use protection?"

Kaena nodded.

"Was he," he grimaced again, and this time it looked like he had bitten a lemon dipped in vinegar. She thought that the muscle in his jaw looked like it would snap off the joint any minute now, and go flying across the room. "Was he mean? Did he hurt you? He did wait for you to be ready?"

"He wasn't mean. It hurt, a little, but he didn't know. I mean, I didn't mention that I, you know, hadn't before. It wasn't that. It was just different than I thought it would be, not bad. Even though we felt such a strong pull, I was overwhelmed by how quick it all happened. But I was happy, I thought finally he really wanted me. Not just my body, but me."

"And that wasn't the case?" his face was deadly calm now, and she could feel his considerable strength filling his limbs. She thought he might explode.

"When I woke up, he said it was a mistake, and he apologized and left. He said he'd call later, but he didn't. He didn't even explain . . ." she wilted, bending over in mortification. She felt her father's strong hand on her back, gently supporting her. She didn't feel like she had done something so wrong now that he wasn't mad at her. He took a few deep breaths, and finally spoke.

"You did nothing wrong. He, on the other hand, has some explaining to do. It's one thing to seduce a twenty year old girl, but it's entirely another to do so and then leave with no word. I will give him the benefit of the doubt for your mother's sake, and yours, but I can make no promises about maiming, or at least injuring."

"I just feel so stupid. I didn't mean for it to happen that way. I know you and mom waited, and I just feel so . . . dirty, especially since he doesn't even want me."

His gaze went from cold fury to sympathy so suddenly that it was startling. He took her hands in one of his. "Most things don't go as we plan. And your mother waited, but I did not, so don't feel guilty. You make decisions for yourself, not for your parents. Now, I have business to attend to while I'm here, and I need to get out before the banks close. I will be back later. We'll meet for dinner at eight, all right?"

Kaena nodded and walked her papa out. She loved him more than she could ever express in words. He had made her feel better despite everything, and she felt better that he knew and wasn't disappointed in her. She looked down at her messy clothes and decided to take a bath. She went to the bedroom to grab a few things and set her phone down on the dresser. Remembering her father's cold fury and the expression that promised pain, she decided to be merciful and give Taka a head start.


	6. Chapter 6: Love's Joy

AN: I got bored and decided to upload a chapter in the middle of the week, but I didn't want to make you wait until next weekend for a chapter I had already written, so here is chapter 6! I've got some ideas for the sequel that I'm kicking around. Hope you enjoy the chapter. -nel

Chapter Six – Love's Joy

"My father is in town, and will probably be looking for you," the text said.

When he's first seen he had a text from her, his heart had leapt a little inside. He wanted her to come after him, to tell him why he was being stupid, the way Miaka had all those years ago. But Kaena simply warned him that her father was looking for him. Well, Taka thought, he wasn't terribly worried. It wasn't like he was famous or like Nakago had PIs at his disposal. So Taka headed back toward his temporary home, the Ramada.

He took the elevator to the fifth floor and tiredly flopped down on the bed, unable to get the image of Kaena standing there in her living room with tears swimming in her blue eyes. He didn't want to leave, but something in him warned him away. He didn't know what that was—maybe his conscience. Sleeping with a beautiful, flexible twenty-year old was every man's fantasy. Of course, it hadn't been fantasy sex. It had been real, and she had been shy and vulnerable, and he had taken advantage of that. He didn't think anything could make him feel more terrible than he already did.

There was a hard knock at the door and Tamahome sat up suddenly. He sensed fury outside the door. He slowly walked to it. There was another hard knock, and now he knew for sure who it was. How he had found Taka so quickly, the man would never know, but a quick peek through the peephole confirmed it. Nakago stood there, and he looked angry.

"Open this door or I will blow it off the hinges."

"Try explaining that one to the insurance company," he muttered and undid the deadbolt. He stepped back and the door swung open suddenly. A bulwark of power slammed him into the wall, followed by a strong forearm, which pinned him. If he didn't know any better, he would say this man was going to kill him.

And how well did he really know Nakago, anyway? Well enough to know he was capable of murder, that was for sure. In self defense, Taka let his power explode around him, and Nakago took an involuntary step backward as he was buffeted against the opposite wall of the entry way.

He straightened and scowled. He was wearing a beautifully tailored grey suit, and somehow that made him look all the more dangerous. He looked older than the last time Taka had seen him, but no less spry, and certainly no less powerful.

"You had sex with my daughter," he said accusingly. "I warned you to stay away from her."

"I really don't think that's your business!"

"It's my business when she calls me weeping because you have told her it was a mistake and then not bothered to call or assure her that you were not, in fact, using her like a convenient floozy. And so I'm forced to assume that you were simply using her, and naturally," he prowled toward him, leaning over him threateningly. Had he always been so tall? "I was not pleased. But I gave you the benefit of the doubt and did not kill you immediately."

"That might put a damper on your political career," he said nervously.

"That's assuming there would be anything left of you," he smiled coldly. "Now, explain."

Taka inched away. Nakago wasn't touching him, but he felt pressured and cornered, so he nimbly slipped into the room and sat down on the bed. That, he thought, might have been a mistake. Drawing attention to the bed given the circumstances was probably not wise.

"And now you have approximately thirty seconds to convince me that you were not simply relieving your pitiful urges on my daughter," he leaned casually against the bureau.

"I wasn't just trying to get a lay!" he defended, raking his hands through his hair and then looking at them like he wasn't sure they belonged to him. He didn't know exactly what he had been thinking, but the thought of leaving certainly hadn't occurred to him while it was happening. "It happened so fast, we were just standing there, then she kissed me, and that was all it took. Next thing I knew, we were in bed, and . . . well, I somehow doubt you want the details. I can't believe she told you."

"After she called me in tears, I made it a point to find out what happened. And the fact that you were at least not a moron and decided to use protection has spared you certain death. If I had had little Tamahome grand children, I most definitely would have maimed you, if I were feeling generous," he frowned. "Tell me why you left."

"I didn't intend to! When we fell asleep, I couldn't have been happier. I'm not exaggerating when I say I was hoping to stay awake and talk, and get to know more about her, and that I foresaw many more nights laying awake and chatting, cuddling. But then I woke up and panicked. I was making toast to bring to her when it occurred to me what it would mean to her being with someone like me. There's too much baggage, too much history. And I have this inexplicable anxiety when I think about what our lives would be like. But I _wanted_ it like you can't imagine."

Nakago was still frowning, but he looked like he had stepped back from kill mode to, perhaps, beat soundly mode. Which was an improvement. A muscle in his jaw twitched curiously. "You are such an idiot."

"I know!" he replied. "Nakago, you know I would never do anything to hurt her intentionally. I tried to resist, but there was, and still is, this pull. I can't reconcile it with this dread I feel. I would never do anything to disrespect you or Miaka, either."

"I know that," he grudgingly admitted. It looked like the remark caused him pain. "The fact remains that you took Kaena's virginity and then left her alone to wonder why she wasn't good enough to keep."

Taka's heart sunk. Suddenly her shyness and tentative exploration made sense. Why hadn't he seen it before? He groaned in agony and folded over. "I had no idea it was her first time. I'm such an idiot."

"Yes, I told you," he said dryly. "At least I know you weren't simply trying to 'score' with my little girl. Not that that helps your case much. I still have the distinct urge to throttle you. But she didn't seem upset by what transpired in the bedroom. At least," he physically shuddered as he said it, and Taka was keenly aware what it cost this man to play mediator. "I trust you were better than some fumbling boy."

"I need to talk to her," he sighed. "I've been avoiding her, not that I don't want to see her! I do! But I'm afraid of what she'll say to me. I guess if I can handle what you have to say, it can't be so much worse. But dammit, why do I feel like this is so wrong, but want it so badly?"

"Perhaps because you're aware that you are fifteen years her senior?" he offered with a scowl.

"That's not it. I mean, it's kind of creepy, but she's not a typical twenty-year old. There's so much more to her. She knows things, has power, that makes my head spin. There's wisdom and understanding there. Trust me, the last time I dated a twenty year old was when I was twenty-two."

"Did it occur to you that perhaps you fear involvement and are trying to give yourself any reason you can think of to avoid becoming vulnerable again?"

Something resonated within Taka at that statement, and the truth of it struck him. He had played a round and lost a very big hand. It had taken him years to recover from the loss of Miaka, and the feelings he had for Kaena were so much greater, so much deeper, than what he'd ever experienced with Miaka. The idea of throwing down his chips again and losing them all was dreadful. "How did you . . . ?"

Nakago sat down on the bed beside him now, still frowning—when was he not frowning?--but not looking angry. "I understand the risk of vulnerability better than you ever will. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, as they say. And ridiculous as it is that you should be so similar to myself and my daughter, the reason Kaena was so heartbroken by your abandonment is that she's the same way. You don't know what it cost her to lay herself out to you, emotionally, and then to be rejected? You did to her what you sought to avoid for yourself. Idiot."

Taka flopped down on the bed, knowing that what Nakago said was true, and feeling certain he needed to call Kaena. He began to plan what he would say to her—beginning with 'I'm sorry' and ending with 'I'm an idiot' for sure—when there was a knock on the door. Nakago got up to answer it and saw a young man with a cart.

"Room service," a voice said.

"I didn't order any," Taka replied, sitting up.

Nakago glanced over his shoulder and then returned his attention to the boy, who was looking rather nervous at the tall man's icy gaze. "Sir, we're having a problem with the hot water on this floor. It's going to take a while to fix, so we're sending up complimentary wine in order to apologize for the inconvenience."

Nakago took the offered bottle and thanked the boy with a generous tip. He held up the bottle and raised his eyebrows. "I could use a drink."

"Oh, God, me too," Taka said, grabbing two coffee mugs while Nakago popped the cork. It wasn't anything fancy, but it would do to get rid of the butterflies in his stomach. The blonde poured two mugs and set the bottle down.

"To Kaena," he said wryly. "And to disposing of the body, should this not be resolved as I hoped."

"To Kaena," he said weakly. He was about to sip when his phone began to buzz. He dove for it hopefully, as he had all week, but it was just a message from Vinny asking about their lesson. He had completely forgotten. He texted back a quick reply that he couldn't make it tonight and picked up his mug.

"Wait," Nakago held up his hand. There was something odd in his expression. He was breathing heavily, and pain was written across his handsome features. He dropped his mug, clutching his heart, and muttered, "How ironic."

Taka caught him as he collapsed.

"Hey," Taka supported the larger man in his arms as he groaned in agony, clutching his chest. "Shit! If you die, Miaka and Kaena will kill me together!"

Taka gently laid Nakago out on the floor and hopped to his cell phone. He called 911 and told them to send paramedics are fast as possible, giving his hotel address and room number. The operator said they were sending help, so Taka pocketed the phone and knelt down again. The big warrior wasn't moving anymore. He swore when he touched the man's chest and felt nothing. He took one breath, and then stopped.

"Oh, no you don't!" he leaned over the man, suddenly extremely grateful for his CPR training, and began to do chest compressions to the beat of Stayin' Alive. Ah (compress)-ah (compress)-ah (compress) -ah (compress)—stayin' alive (breath), stayin' alive (breath). He repeated the processes, and felt a flutter as Nakago's heart began to beat again, but too quickly. His breathing was fast and shallow.

Getting an idea, Taka reached his aura out to the man. His body was having trouble regulating his heart beat, so Taka used his chi to help his body do so. It seemed like an eternity stretched on, waiting for the paramedics to arrive. Time was standing still. Taka thought his last words were odd. He had said how ironic. Why was having a heart attack ironic? Maybe for somebody like him, he expected to die by someone else's hand? But no, that didn't sound like him. He shook his head. It didn't really matter what he meant by it. Taka was going to keep the man alive if it killed him!

Finally, the EMTs burst through the door and began checking his vitals.

"He's alive," they said. "Get him on the gurney. What happened?"

"He obviously had a heart attack," Taka said shakily.

"Are you family?"

"No, yes, sort of. A family friend. Somebody brought this wine up and he took a drink and then just got this weird look on his face. I did CPR after his heart stopped and it started again, but it's weak and thready. I don't understand how this could happen so suddenly."

"Well, he's a man who looks to be in his forties," the EMT said as they team lifted him onto a gurney and began to wheel him. Taka grabbed his wallet and followed.

"He's in his fifties," Taka corrected.

"All the more reason."

"But you don't understand, he runs daily, does martial arts and can still kick my ass at it. This isn't a guy to have a heart attack. I think it was the wine. Do you think he could have been poisoned?"

"That's not very likely."

"Sure it is. Somebody burned down my apartment a few days ago to try to kill me, and somebody's been threatening his daughter as well. He was in MY hotel room—that wine was for me."

"Look, if you're not family, you can't come."

"I'm his damn body guard," Taka lied. "He's a major politician in Japan, and I'm not leaving his side. Now, tell me what hospital we're going to so I can let his family know."

"In that case, we'll take him to the University of Chicago Medical Center. His daughter can meet us there. Now, you have to get out of the way so we can work," the man allowed Taka into the ambulance, and they were off. Taka watched helplessly as they injected him with drugs and checked his heart rate. Having nothing else to do, Taka picked up his cell phone, took a deep breath, and dialed Kaena's number.

Kaena was in the bath when she heard her phone ringing. She grabbed a towel and raced to her phone, but she missed the call. It was Taka. She stared at the phone for a minute and then frowned, silencing it and getting back into the tub. She couldn't deal with him right now. Still, she had a sinking feeling that something important had happened.

When eight o'clock rolled around, and her compulsively prompt papa hadn't returned, she began to worry. She called his cell phone, but got no answer. She sent him a text message, but no response. She looked at her missed calls—Taka had called her five times, and Marsden had called once. She sighed and returned Marsden's call.

It was a brief, odd conversation. He sounded oddly happy, and she felt compelled to see him tonight, even though she already had plans. She declined to see him, however, and decided to call Taka back. He picked up after one ring.

"Kaena, thank God," he said urgently.

"Taka, you can't just keep calling me--"

"Never mind that," he waved her off, and she almost hung up out of annoyance. "Nakago, your father, he's in the hospital. He had a heart attack when he was with me. He's not doing too well. You need to come immediately."

Kaena's own heart almost stopped. She found it was suddenly very hard to breathe. "Which—which hospital?"

"U of Chicago," he said. "Hurry."

"Taka? Is he going to die?" she whispered.

"Just come quickly," he said, and she closed her phone. For a minute, she didn't know what to do. She should catch a cab, but that could take too long. The bus would be just as bad. For a minute tears began to overwhelm her and she didn't know what to do. She couldn't lose her father. What would her mother do? What would SHE do? Kaena sobbed, but then she heard his voice from a memory. While they were training and she had been overwhelmed by attacks from too many directions, she had simply started to cry. And then her father had barked at her: "Don't cry. It's useless in a crisis. Figure out what to do, and cry when it's over."

Kaena wiped her eyes and looked at her phone. She needed a ride. The only person she knew with a car was Marsden. She called him back and quickly explained that she needed a ride to the hospital, and could he please come as fast as humanly possible or faster? She gave her address, and five minutes later she was sitting beside the dark haired post-doc student as he broke every traffic law ever instituted.

"Thanks," she said to him, lightly touching his arm. He smiled at her as they pulled up to the emergency room entrance. He dropped her and left to park. Kaena ran pell-mell into the hospital, demanding directions. While she was arguing with the desk attendant, Taka walked by.

"Kaena! You made it. I was just about to call you again."

She ran to him, clutching his arms desperately. "Tell me what's wrong. What's happening with my father?"

"I just spoke with the doctor. There was some sort of drug in the wine that was sent to my room."

"Are you--?"

"I didn't drink any. I was about to, but he stopped me," he explained. "The doctors don't know what it was, but it's wreaking havoc with his system. They say it seems like some sort of neurotoxin that attacks the nerves that control the muscles. They think it's temporary, that if they can keep ahead of the poison, he'll recover. But they don't know if they can stay ahead."

"Is he awake?"

"He's in a lot of pain, you might not want to--"

"This might be the last chance I have," her breath hitched, but she forced herself to calm. "Take me to him."

Taka nodded and squeezed her hand gently, leading her back toward the ICU. Kaena numbly looked at the rooms full of sick people. Her father was not a sick person. He was strong and vibrant and indestructible. He simply couldn't die. She wouldn't allow it.

Marsden caught up as they rounded the corner toward the room. He looked shocked to see Taka. "Hello," he said. "What happened?"

"Her father had a heart attack," Taka said, showing Kaena into the room. A nurse was taking his vitals.

"How is he?" she asked.

"You're the daughter?"

She nodded.

"He's stable for now, but he's experiencing a lot of abdominal pain. We gave him Zofran to stop the vomiting, but the toxin seems to be spreading to the extremities and causing him to jerk in his sleep, and causing him difficulty breathing. We've given him pain medicine, but it doesn't seem to help much."

"Is he going to be all right?"

"It's hard to say. He's a tough guy, that's for sure," she said, patting Kaena on the shoulder as she passed. Kaena dropped down on a stool beside the bed. Her father's skin was pale—more pale than usual—and chalky. His eyes were closed, but his face twitched in obvious agony. She reached for him, but was afraid to touch him lest she cause some horrible pain.

"Papa," she whispered. "Can you hear me?"

He opened one eye briefly and weakly grabbed her hand.

"He hasn't been able to speak," Taka said. "Out loud."

"How else would he speak?" Marsden asked a little snidely, then apologized.

Kaena's eyes opened when her father's voice boomed in her head. She gripped his hand tightly in surprised, and he scolded her for squeezing too hard.

"Are you all right?"

"I'll live, I think," he replied telepathically. "I'm having trouble moving my tongue."

"Of all your organs, that would be your greatest loss," she laughed between tears.

"If you could sneak me some of your chi, that would help. Who's the idiot?"

"Taka isn't the idiot?"

"He's an idiot. Who's the new one?"

"Marsden. He drove me here. He's the only person I know with a car. I'll have Taka get rid of him. On second thought, I better talk to him. He doesn't much like Taka. I'll be right back, then we'll give you some chi."

"That idiot saved my life," his voice was quiet inside her head. "Much as it pains me to say it, you should listen to what he has to say."

Kaena nodded, gently squeezed her father's weak hand, and motioned for Taka and Marsden to follow. The stood together in the hallway. Kaena's head was slowly returning to its normal level of pressure, and her heart didn't feel like it would thump right out of her chest. Her father sounded strong, and he was mentally with them, even if his body was betraying him.

"Taka and I have to perform a ritual now, a Shinto purification. It's a private ceremony . . ." she hinted.

"In other words, thanks for the ride, Marsden," he said a little bitterly.

"I really do appreciate your help. I'll call you tomorrow, all right? He'll fight, I know he will. I'll let you know how things are going."

Marsden waved noncommittally and disappeared down the hall. Taka and Kaena looked at one another for a moment. He looked battered and defeated, but her father's words rung in her head. He had saved her father's life. And knowing their history made it all the more impressive. She leaned forward and hugged him, and felt the dam break. She hated being in tears yet again, but she couldn't help it. They were tears of relief, and of anger, and sadness, and who even knew what else? She sobbed against him, burying her head in the crook of his shoulder, and he hugged her tightly, gently rubbing her back.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "About what happened between us."

She shook her head. "We can talk about that later. Now we have to give papa some energy. He's fighting, but . . ."

"I've been slipping him some of my chi here and there, but the medical staff keeps returning, so not much. It's hard for me to maintain that kind of connection. It drains me beyond what I'm giving."

"I can help with that," she assured him, taking him by the hand and leading him back inside. She paused in the doorway. "Thank you. For whatever you did that kept him alive."

"I'm not about to let somebody die for me. Not again."

Together they went inside, and shared their chi with father, ally, and friend.

They stood over Nakago, staring down at him. He was asleep now, his breathing still ragged, his face lined with agony, but he was blessedly unconscious. When Taka probed his mind he got no response. It was very strange seeing this man laid so bare. It reminded him of that horrible moment all those years ago when Taka had run at the man and Nakago had just let the younger man run him through. And then all those memories had flooded him, and Taka had privately wept for him. They had both known that the things he went through with the emperor and his people didn't excuse him of the blood on his hands, but he had worked after that, to atone, to accept the forgiveness so freely offered by the gods. And now he was here, physically as vulnerable, but there was something strong in him, and Taka respected the man greatly.

They had not been bitter enemies, and Nakago had done horrible things to him, and then Taka had found it in his heart after watching how he so tenderly protected Miaka to forgive the man who controlled him and hurt him. And then Taka had died, and Nakago had married Miaka, but he'd been dead, blissfully unaware of the goings on of earth. And then he'd been raised, and hated the man just a little bit again. But over the years, he had come to understand that Nakago hadn't staked some claim, hadn't been plotting to steal his lover, but that his death had allowed fate to run its course. Taka could begrudge it all he wanted, but it didn't change anything, and so again, he had forgiven the man. Forgiveness was hard; damn near impossible sometimes. Hatred was harder.

And Taka was reminded of his own stint in a hospital very much like this one, where he had slowly faded, and his loved ones had wept. He didn't want Miaka to weep over her lover again. He glanced at Kaena and nodded. Whatever she had to do, he would accept.

The young woman closed her eyes, and an invisible wind blew up behind her. Her hair floated in a shiny, yellow cascade, and when she opened her eyes again, they were different. No longer were they the clear, pale blue he had grown so accustomed to: now they were a color so pale it was almost translucent. He couldn't feel power in her; instead he felt emptiness.

When she spoke, her voice was oddly doubled, and there was deep sadness there.

"My servant suffers," she said, the Voice speaking through Kaena. "Are you willing to help him?"

Taka nodded numbly, not quite understanding what he was seeing. He half wanted to shield his face or drop down on his knees in supplication This was the Being that had moved through him in hell, who had shown him a vision of the future. This was the Being who had walked with him in those dim heavenly memories that slipped away so easily. How could he decline to serve?

"Then take my hand, and put yours on Ayuru," she said.

The transfer of energy was tricky business. There was a reason people like Soi did so through sex. During sex, the chi is more loosely bound to the body, and naturally exchanges with another in the act of love. But transferring it by hand took not only the energy that was transferred, but it took chi to maintain the connection, to force the chi to go where it was not naturally inclined. Kaena's hand touched Taka and her father, and Taka felt a curious loosening of his energy. For a moment, it felt like he was outside of himself, and he could see Nakago's oddly thin blue aura hanging loosely over his body. He realized neither of them were breathing.

Suddenly, Taka's energy began to seep toward Nakago's, to fortify him. He could see his aura take on a purple-ish tint as his own crimson aura climbed over and into the weak places where his chi had been depleted by his physical wounds. He watched this in wonder, and then was suddenly snapped back into his body. Kaena gasped and panted, sliding to the floor. Her entire slim frame was trembling. Taka dropped down to his knees to help her into the squishy chair by the window.

He swallowed hard, unsure he had just seen what he had. "How did you do that?"

She shook her head. "I don't know. It's hard to explain. I have some control over fate, over the probabilities that govern our various futures. I was trying to reach to the strands of fate like I normally do, to strengthen the likelihood of my father's recovery. But . . . there's always a moment of blankness when I do it. Like my chi has all been poured out of me, and when that happened, She came."

"She?"

"The Preserver, the one who created the strings of fate and guards them. I felt . . ." she paused, obviously having trouble finding her words. "Overwhelming love, and some anger, and then I was moving and I didn't know what I was doing. It's like the price of fiddling too much with fate is to pour all of yourself out, and to be open to being filled."

"Incredible," he watched her as she regained her energy. Her aura, which had dissipated somehow, was seeping back into her. "It's like summoning the beast gods, without being consumed."

She nodded and craned her neck around Taka's shoulders to peer at her father. He looked over as well, and was relieved to see that the man looked like he was simply sleeping peacefully rather than resting in unconscious agony. He looked back to Kaena and she smiled weakly. "I think you're going to need to take it easy. I took most of your chi."

"Hey, I don't need it right now," he said pleasantly, becoming aware of his fingers on her pale arms. She looked up at him and flushed, drawing away. She curled her knees against her body and wrapped her long arms around them.

"Thank you for helping my papa," she said softly.

"I wasn't going to just let him die," he shrugged. "He would have done the same for me."

"I know—I mean, he told me, about your history. He said you were enemies and you killed him before. I'm sure there was a good reason, so I'm not sure he would have done the same in your shoes."

"He would have. He wouldn't have then, but he would have now. Kaena," he paused, sitting down on the foot stool by the chair. "I'm sorry about last weekend. I didn't know you were a virgin. I wouldn't have pressed so hard . . . I didn't meant to pressure you. I hope it didn't hurt too much."

She flushed. "He told you!"

"He was upset. I was too, once he told me. I forget how young you are, I think of you as much wiser and more experienced than you really are. It didn't even occur to me that you might be inexperienced. I was a jerk."

"It's okay," she said softly. "It's not that. It was awkward, but if I'd wanted you to stop, you would have stopped. One way or another. It was that I gave myself to you and you just walked away like it didn't mean anything. Like I didn't mean anything."

"You DO mean something to me—a lot! Too much. I guess I got scared and thought, what if you had changed your mind, thought it was a mistake? I have too much invested in you to be able to just walk away, and it was stupid to listen to that panic, but I had to get away before you could."

She uncurled slightly, and leaned forward, looking into his face.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," he took her hand and gently kissed it. "It meant a lot to me, and I don't think it was a mistake."

"You want to be with me?" she asked quietly, looking at her hand in his. She looked up underneath ashy eyelashes, hope in her clear eyes.

"More than anything. But you have to understand where I'm coming from feeling creepy and old and strange about my relationship with your mother. I might freak out and try to run away. I guess I just expected more of a fight from you. We're a lot more similar than I'd have thought."

"No," she said, stubborn steel in her voice.

"What?" he blinked, taken aback.

"It's not my job to comfort you and reassure you. I'm not going to reject you. How could I? I've been in love with you since I was eleven. You've rejected me twice now. I don't deserve that. So you make up your mind. Are you in, or are you out?"

He stared for a moment. He was feeling distinctly cornered, but she wasn't backing down. And she was right. He was a grown man, much more mature and experienced than her, and it wasn't fair to be jerking her innocent heart around. He bowed his head, and then leaned forward, kissing her deeply. She relaxed into him, her entire long, lean body uncoiling and coming against his.

"Is that a yes?" she asked breathlessly.

"Yes," he said against her lips. "But I'm entitled to freak out once in a while."

"Me too," she replied, running her fingers through his hair. He kissed her again and she arched against him. She felt her fingers winding up his sides and grabbed her hands, panting hard.

"Much as I want a reprise of the other night, I can't do this with Nakago in the room," he laughed a little.

She did too, then bit her lip. "I wasn't terrible, was I? The other night? I was so nervous."

"For what it's worth, I had no idea you were so inexperienced. I just thought you were a more reserved lover. Nothing wrong with that. I found it endearing," he smiled, and loved the way her cheeks flushed. Her soul was old, but she was not. He scooted into the chair beside her, and wrapped his arms around her. Kaena leaned her head against his chest and looked up at him.

"Did you call my mother?" Kaena asked suddenly.

"Yeah, when we were in the ambulance. Do you think I should send her another message letting her know he's doing better?" he asked, shifting so he could pull his phone out of his pocket.

Kaena nodded, so he fired off a quick text. "Nakago is stable, Kaena is with me. Will call tomorrow."

Taka tucked his head against Kaena's shoulder and inhaled her sweet, clean scent. He could die happy, holding her in his arms like this. The voice that tried to convince him it was wrong, that caused so much doubt, had been mercifully silenced. He tightened his grip around her waist and as her breathing became deep and even, felt his own eyelids begin to slip shut.

Nakago stirred and finally opened his heavy eyelids. Light was flooding through the blinds and he couldn't sleep any longer. He tried to push himself up and was shocked by how weak his body was. He frowned, set his face, and determinedly wiggled until he was half-upright. He glanced around the room and saw Taka and Kaena cuddled up in the chair.

"Oh, come on," he said, and his voice felt raspy and unused. It was gravely and sounded grumpy to his own ears, which was to be expected. Although he had played mediator, he really hadn't wanted to know anything more about their relationship. Seeing them so comfortably cuddled gave him mental images he had no desire to keep.

Kaena began to stir, and finally opened her eyes. "Papa!" she cried and attempted to jump up, but Taka was still snoring heavily and his arms were locked around her waist. She looked at him with annoyance, but settled back down against him. "He gave you most of his chi last night. He'll probably sleep for a while yet."

"Did he now?"

She nodded. "I helped, though," she said with a small smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Exhausted," he admitted. "My body feels like lead."

The doctor knocked on the door and walked inside. "Good morning—Mr. Gi! You're looking very well! Shockingly so, actually."

He smirked and allowed the doctor to poke and prod him here and there. The care here was tolerable, although he was not looking forward to receiving the bill for this excursion into the U.S. health care system. The doctor was looking at him in a very puzzled way.

"Frankly," he began. "I'm not sure why you're not dead."

"I am a stubborn asshole," he drawled.

"And even if you weren't dead, I wouldn't have expected you to be able to move for days or WEEKS, sir. Are you immortal or something?" he joked. Nakago thought the young man, at least twenty years his junior so 'young' to him now, was amusingly baffled, and was enjoying watching him scratch his head.

"Did you find out what caused it?"

"Yes, that's why you shouldn't be alive. You have theophylline poisoning. Theophylline is a drug used in small, therapeutic doses for asthma, but in large doses can cause severe abdominal symptoms, tachycardia, or even cardiac arrest. It's absorbed completely and quickly through the stomach. We also found traces of curare, which is a paralyzing agent. I don't understand how you're alive. We'll run a few more tests, but it looks like we'll need to keep you for a few more days of observation."

"I'm feeling very weak," he observed. "Will I recover?"

"It's hard to say, but judging by your miraculous recovery so far, the prognosis is good. Theophylline can have some nasty side effects for the abdomen, but I don't think we need to worry about that. Curare, on the other hand, generally doesn't have any lasting side effects as long as you keep breathing through the paralysis, which you obviously have. I think maybe something about the combination of the poisons has caused the muscle weakness, and it's not something we've studied, so I can't really say how recovery will go. It's all kind of a mystery."

The doctor eyed Taka suspiciously. "He didn't ingest any, did he? He looks like he's half dead."

"He's just tired," Kaena laughed nervously, not trying to get up. They were the same height, but he was sinewy and thick, and obviously a lot stronger than he looked.

The doctor left, and there was another knock on the door. It was the man from last night that Nakago hadn't recognized. Kaena had said his name was Marsden, he thought. Nakago instantly disliked him.

"I brought you a clean shirt," he said to Kaena, holding out a Macy's bag. "I didn't think you'd want to leave."

His eyes fell on Nakago, and something like horrible recognition flashed through him. This man looked very familiar, for some reason. "Have we met?" he asked.

"No, I don't think so," his voice was strained, and Nakago was extremely suspicious. His face was very familiar. As was his aura, though he was making every effort to hide his chi. "How are you feeling, sir?"

"Well," he answered curtly.

"Do you want to go get some coffee?" he asked Kaena, frowning as he apparently noticed Taka's sleeping form behind her.

"No, I'm comfortable," she said, squinting her eyes at her father with what was clearly amusement. "But thanks for the shirt, I'll change in a bit."

Nakago smiled cryptically. He had sensed her from miles away, but now she was at the hospital doors, and moving quickly toward them. He would recognize that energy anywhere. He gave Kaena a twisted little smirk, because it was payback for making him imagine them fumbling all over one another in bed, and then looked at the door.

Miaka came barreling into the room, face flushed with fury.

"Hello, darling," Nakago said conversationally. "How are you?"

"How am I? HOW AM I? Worried out of my mind! I can't believe I get a cryptic voicemail and a cryptic text message, both with enough information to cause my head to explode and neither with enough to actually explain what's going on here! What happened?"

"Somebody tried to kill Taka, but got me instead. Obviously, I'm not dead, so they failed miserably. It was a combination of poisons."

Miaka's great green eyes, set into her pretty face, began to water, and she dove for him. He caught her with weak arms, and she cried against him. "I thought you were going to die after Taka called me. I didn't know what I'd do. I order to you let me die first. Do you understand?"

"I do not agree to that," he said formally. "I'm fine."

"You feel—squishy," she looked puzzled. "What's wrong?"

"Muscle weakness from the poisons, but I think I'll make a speedy recovery," he glanced over at Taka gratefully. The boy—and he didn't know why he thought of him that way, but he did—had saved his life, first at the hotel room by his quick thinking, and then by surreptitiously transferring his chi whenever he could, and finally whatever large-scale transfer he had performed. He did, unfortunately, have a lingering taste of Taka's chi in his own, and that was quite unpleasant.

Miaka noticed them for the first time.

"Mama," Kaena said weakly, pathetically struggling against Taka's iron grip.

Miaka's face went blank. Her eyes scanned Taka, with his arms wrapped around her daughter, and then her daughter's flushed face and bright eyes. Her voice sounded strained. "Kaena."

"Wake up, you idiot," Kaena finally elbowed Taka in the stomach. He grunted and sat up like a shot, releasing Kaena. She had leaned forward to break free at the same moment that he had released her, and she went tumbling to the floor.

Taka let out a cry of dismay and dove to help her up. As he brought the young woman back to her feet, his eyes noticed Miaka standing there. Awkwardly, he released Kaena. "Miaka," he said. He hadn't seen her in years as far as Nakago knew. He saw regret in Taka's open face, and he saw pain in his wife's.

Marsden awkwardly set down the bag he'd been holding, and leaned against the doorway, staring at Miaka with an awed expression.

Nakago raised his eyebrows curiously. What a strange trip this was turning out to be.


	7. Chapter 7: Will and War

Chapter Seven – Will and War

"I'm going to get coffee. Marsden?" Kaena made a hasty grab for her somewhat friend, and departed the room. Taka knew Kaena was no fool, and didn't want to be in the room for this explanation. She was pretty sure her mother didn't have any inkling of what had transpired between them. She shot her father a frown and disappeared down the hall.

Miaka lifted one delicate brow and folded her arms across her chest. She didn't even have to say it for Taka to know what she was thinking.

"They slept together," Nakago said helpfully.

"You WHAT?" she exploded, and then calmed down. She'd obviously been highly strained for the passed twelve or so hours, what with somehow catching an overnight flight and arriving here, likely straight from the airport. She took a breath, but took a few somewhat threatening steps toward Taka.

"I think we're together?"

"If you're sleeping together, you better be pretty darn sure," she frowned. "Taka, what on earth are you thinking? I asked you to keep an eye on her, not go to bed with her!"

"I wasn't really thinking of you when it happened," he muttered.

Miaka frowned thoughtfully. "Tell me what happened," she said, and she had moved from mother mode to friend mode. Taka glanced at Nakago and blew out his breath. He was getting very tired of rehashing this, but he went ahead and explained the vision, the attraction, their meeting, the kiss, and then what happened after. "I didn't know she was a virgin, though," he finished pitifully. "And we talked last night and I think we're okay. I was just being a stupid idiot."

"That's for sure," Miaka sighed. She took Taka's hand. "Do you really love her?"

"Miaka, you know I loved you with everything I had at the time, but this is different. I've never been more sure of myself than I am now. I was being stupid, and I'm still a little weirded out by it, but I do. I love her."

"Okay. But if you hurt her," Miaka grinned and slammed her fist into her open palm. "I will have to use my women's wrestling moves on you!"

"What was that all about?" Marsden questioned as they sat down in the little hospital cafe. Kaena shook her head and opened her coffee to stir in some cream and sugar. "So that guy is really your dad."

"Couldn't you tell by looking at us?" she laughed.

"And that woman your mother?"

"Yep."

"How can she . . .?" he sounded oddly frustrated.

"How can she what?"

"Doesn't she know about the things he's done, I mean, the rumors?"

"What rumors?" Kaena asked curiously. If there were rumors about her father, it wasn't in Japan. He had always been careful to stay out of the media, and had never been involved in a scandal as far as she knew. The only thing even remotely close to scandal was that his political enemies and accused him of staging Kaena's kidnapping in order to garner sympathy and coverage, and she could assure anyone that asked that she had truly been kidnapped.

"Well, there are a lot of rumors, at least that I've heard, that he did some pretty shady things when he was younger, you know, in his early years."

"Like what?"

Marsden raked a hand through his hair and took a long sip of coffee. Kaena felt like they were having two different conversations, or rather that he was having one in his head and one with her. She tilted her head inquisitively. Ordinarily she would be annoyed by his cryptic comments, but she was still kind of elated from last night's conversation with Taka. Finally, he spoke. "Can I be honest with you?"

"I wish you would."

"I know about his past life. And your friend Taka's, and everything. Well, not everything. I wasn't really involved, at least I don't think I was, but I have these memories," he gripped his head as if in agony, and Kaena was compelled to touch him. "How can you treat him like he's so good when he killed and hurt so many people?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said, honestly, and a little coolly. Her father had alluded to the fact that he'd done things he wasn't proud of, but murder couldn't have been one of them.

"I just know that I lived on the border of two countries. One country was peaceful and I lived there with my family. That other country was in turmoil for various reasons. Your father, he went by Nakago then and I guess he still does now, directed the armies that invaded my country, the country your mother was the priestess of. He stood on the battlefield while his men killed fathers and raped mothers and carried children away off as booty."

"No," she laughed. "You don't know him. He would never allow anything like that, even if he did command an army. Marsden, you're confused. I know what it's like to have baffling memories. But my father isn't like that. I mean, look at him. He's strong, and he does what he has to to protect the people he loves, but he protects people, he doesn't hurt them."

"Maybe you're right. He seemed pretty okay—normal," he smiled and relaxed a bit, and she did too.

"You should talk to Taka, he knows all about what it's like to suddenly remember a past life. He can tell you, and help you."

"I'll be fine. I was just sort of shocked to see him. Last night I thought he looked familiar."

"Marsden," she began. "Do you have power? Can you use chi?"

He suddenly felt very guarded, and she wondered again what he was hiding. "No," he responded. "At least, I don't think so. Why? Can you, you know, use your chi? Like magic?"

"Yeah, I can," she replied truthfully. "I can manipulate probability and fate. You have some power yourself. Taka has a friend who's working on strengthening his power, and Taka is tutoring him. He would probably be willing to help you. I probably shouldn't mention this, but Luke—Dr. Jamison—he has some power too. Maybe . . . we should train together? Hone our skills. I could use the practice."

"Do you think he'd be willing to teach me? I don't think he likes me much."

"He doesn't, but he'd do it for me," she smiled. This could actually be a great idea. She knew she sensed power in him, and it seemed like he possessed memories from the other universe. Maybe he was one of hers. Luke sure thought he was, and maybe Vinny too. When Kaena reached into her chi and touched the strings of fate, she felt that there was a battle coming, and thought that perhaps her warriors were preparing to come together for whatever was to come upon them. "I'll talk to him. I should go back upstairs. Poor Taka. I left him alone with my parents."

Kaena had sent Taka home since he wasn't really needed. She and her mother were capable of fortifying her father's chi if necessary, and he had to finish preparing his lesson plans for Monday—his students would doubtless be unhappy to hear that he had returned to normal. The remainder of the weekend was spent lounging around the hospital room. Nakago was moved out of the ICU and into a private, luxury, suite. The fact that he had the letters J.D. behind his name probably didn't hurt the amount of care and attention he seemed to receive. She skipped her classes Monday and Tuesday, but by Wednesday, her father had said she and her mother were driving him crazy and that she should go to class and bring back something interesting to read.

Kaena came into Luke's classroom a few minutes early and sat down. She had done the reading for Monday, but hadn't felt up to coming. Her prof swept into the room in his usual awkward, fumbling way, dropping a stack of brochures and religious tracts on the table and powering up the technology cart.

"Is your father feeling better?" he asked.

Startled, Kaena looked up. She had been furiously trying to finish the reading for today. "Huh?"

"Your father. Marsden told me he was in the hospital. I didn't know if you'd be back today, I thought you might have flown back to Japan."

"No, he was here," she said. "He's feeling much better."

"It's fortunate he didn't have his heart attack while flying," Luke said thoughtfully.

"Heart attack? He was poisoned," she said. Ordinarily, she wouldn't divulge such information, but this man was one of them, and he should know that something was after them. "It was an attempt to kill my boyfriend, I think, but my father happened to take the poison instead."

"Boyfriend? So things are better with your friend?"

She flushed, remembering suddenly how much she had told him. She felt her cheeks heat, and he laughed good naturedly. Still flushed to the roots of her hair, the other students began to take their seats. It was a pretty big class for a graduate class—about twenty students—and it was popular and even had a few undergrads taking it for grad credit. She tucked her head down, ignoring her classmates, and finished the reading.

Luke, still looking a little harried from his customary dash to the classroom, took his seat at the head of large conference style table. "So today, as I'm sure you well know, because of course you all did the reading, that our topics are evangelism and separation of church and state. The primary question we want to address is whether or not evangelism qualifies as a violation of a personal right or freedom. And what is the value of evangelism? For that matter, what is the value of separation of church and state?"

"Some value it more than others," the student Kaena knew as Joseph piped.

Luke smiled wryly. "True—but remember, we're talking philosophy, not politics. We don't want to alienate any particular groups of people. So you say the value is variable from person to person?"

Kaena glanced around the classroom as a few students began to quote passages from the reading. She began to get bored. She didn't want to rehash the reading; she was interested in people's original thoughts and opinions! They probably thought they were very academic for regurgitating so well.

"Joseph contends that the purpose of evangelism is to violate another's right to believe what they believe. That's a very cynical view, but I like it. It's a good point to debate."

"I disagree," an Indian girl stated. Kaena thought her name might be Padma. "If you believe your religion is the way to salvation, whether it be nirvana, heaven, or to escaping samsara, and the right way to salvation is following karma or the Koran, don't you have a moral obligation to spread that belief so that your loved ones can also attain salvation?"

"But what about their right to believe what they want, and for that matter, to do what they want?" Joseph argued, somewhat hotly. "Think about it. If your goal is to get somebody to follow your moral guidelines in order to attain salvation, you're not only encroaching about their free will to believe what they want; you're encroaching on their right to behave how they want."

"Every society is held to standards of morals, regardless of if they're based on God or Karma," Padma rebutted. "So why shouldn't people at least know that others believe a different path is the way to salvation? Unless they feel threatened by it, and then their own beliefs probably weren't too strong to begin with."

"It's a matter of free will," Joseph pressed. "I don't like being told I'm going to hell because I don't go to church every week."

"Bad encounter with a Jehovah's Witness?" a girl called Diane laughed. "They are pretty annoying."

"I find them delightful," Padma sniffed. "They're always so polite."

Kaena followed this discussion with interest.

"So then, imposing your beliefs on others violates their personal freedom, or so Joseph would say. Disagree, agree? How does it relate to government?"

"It shouldn't relate to government at all. Separation of church and state was instituted for a reason: to protect people from the tyranny of religion," somebody pointed out. "Shouldn't evangelism count?"

Kaena frowned thoughtfully. "So people setting out religious tracts are encroaching on your personal freedom? They're not pulling your eyelids open and making you read, are they? That would definitely be a violation."

Joseph opened his mouth to say something and then his jaw snapped shut again.

Kaena smiled with satisfaction.

"But that doesn't change the fact that our government imposes all sorts of morals on us based on religions that we don't follow. That's tyranny, is it not? Just as an example, abortion. Outlawing something based on the morals of a specific religion that only 70% of the nation ascribes to . . . how is that NOT tyrannical? I knew Jews don't have a big problem with abortion, and neither do Buddhists for all their sacredness of life doctrines."

"The Christians are the majority, and the ruling power," Padma said. "I'm Hindu, but I accept it because I chose to live here. You can always leave."

"True story," somebody said. "Go to Canada if you don't like it. They have better health care, anyway."

Kaena noticed that Luke was looking at her oddly. His green eyes glinted with interest, and she lifted one delicate, ash colored eyebrow.

"What about societies that have a sort of secular religion, like Japan? You could say that the U.S. faces the same thing. After all, 70% of Americans may profess to be Christian, but of them, only a small proportion is practicing, or even deeply ascribes to the beliefs when pressed. Japan is a society that is traditionally ruled by a prime minister, but still has an emperor who acts as a figurehead for the Shinto religion, the official religion of the state. Is there a conflict here? Do you think the acceptance of it says something about the success of it?"

"You have to understand that Japan is different than here. Here, people behaviors align with their beliefs, usually. Not always, but for the most part," Kaena said. She knew he was directing the conversation to her, and didn't really know why. But she was interested enough in the topic to play along, so she continued. "In Japan, you have who you are inside, and the things you do outside, and sometimes those are very different. I have a lot of friends who are professed atheists who faithfully go to the shrines and ring the bells on holidays. Likewise, I have friends who are Buddhist and visit the Shinto shrines to pray. What you do doesn't necessarily have to align with what you believe inside, and like Padma said, if you're so threatened by outside influences, your belief wasn't that strong to begin with."

"I don't really see the point of having a religion if it's all for show, anyway," Diane said.

"I don't know about in Japan," Joseph added, clearly grumpy that he was being so challenged. "But here, the moral decisions of the majority seriously alter the freedoms of the people here. If you don't believe in abortion, don't get one! Simple as that."

"If you didn't believe in killing Jews during the holocaust," Kaena said dryly. "Would it be enough to simply not kill them?"

"I guess I know where you fall on the issue," he groused.

"On the contrary. I loathe how the government takes liberties with our freedoms, but I'm playing devil's advocate. Try to picture it from the other side."

"It still goes back to free will," Diane insisted.

Somebody thumped their head on the table. "HOW many times can we argue about free will?"

"Expound, Diane?" Luke prompted.

"I mean, no matter what you do, your free will is being violated somehow. If you're a Christian and you think gay marriage is wrong, the government saying it's legal is a violation of your beliefs, but if you're gay and want to get married the Christian assertion is encroaching on your freedom."

"Telling a group they have a freedom doesn't encroach on anybody else, even if they don't agree. Gay people marrying doesn't affect straight people marrying," somebody said.

"Tell that to the Christians," Joseph said.

"Not all Christians are against gay marriage," Luke said politely and smiled.

"Isn't that the point?" Kaena interrupted.

"What do you mean?" he asked curiously.

"It always comes back to free will, and we always conclude the same thing: in religion and outside of it, there isn't any such thing, not really. We can fool ourselves into thinking we have some sort of free will, but even if the choice is free, what follows the choice isn't. You choose to be a Buddhist and then find yourself bound by the five precepts, or if you're an atheist, you're at least bound by the law of the country you choose to live in, theoretically."

"Are you saying free will is an illusion?"

"I'm saying our will isn't as free as we'd like to think, so we shouldn't get hung up on what we're prohibited from doing, and decide which path we find most agreeable. Everybody serves something, whether it be God or Satan or Buddha, or yourself or your money."

Luke glanced at the clock and looked startled. "On that happy note, we have to turn now to a couple things I brought for us to peruse. Start these around and note the similarities of the tracts even though they're all for different religions. We'll watch a brief video, and then you'll be free to go."

Kaena numbly passed the tracts to the person next to her. She wasn't entirely sure why she had said what she said, but upon reflection it struck her as true. She thought about her own beliefs, amorphous and undefined as they were, and couldn't pinpoint where the idea had originated. Her mind wandered to the event in the hospital where the Presence had come into her and guided her. It never simply took over—there was that choice, at least—but once she agreed to obey, she was bound. Maybe free will truly was an illusion. Luke seemed to think that our unwilling indentured servitude to something was a cynical perspective, but Kaena didn't see it as cynical, just realistic. And although something in her chafed against the idea, as she was sure it chafed against her classmates, there was something comforting about it. Self-serving ambitions could always backfire, and serving dark deities like Tenkou would never be safe. At least she knew that her gods/God acted for her good and the good of others, even if she did have to give up a bit of herself for it. And that thought really wasn't so unpleasant.

"Kaena?" Luke tapped his pen against the desk, and she started. The lights were back on and the students were filing out. She had completely spaced out during the video.

"Sorry," she mumbled, hoping he wouldn't scold her. "I got distracted."

"Your father's in the hospital," he said kindly. "I think that's the be expected. You offered some fair insights into our topics despite it. I wish you'd speak up more often. You always say good things. Or at least true things," he smiled crookedly.

"I say what needs to be said and nothing more," she raised her brows, daring him to fault her for this, but he merely shrugged.

"I have to say, I didn't expect such a dire view of humanity."

It was Kaena's turn to shrug. It really didn't seem all that dire to her, but she didn't feel like expounding on her personal experience in order to share her beliefs, and one wouldn't make sense without the other, so she simply said: "I call them like I see them. I have a question for you, though. Have you had any formal training? I mean, for your, um . . ." she glanced around to make sure they were alone.

"My power?" he leaned around her to make sure nobody was listening at the door. "No. All I know I've figured out on my own."

"Would you be interested in lessons?" she asked tentatively. "Marsden and I were talking this weekend, and he said he would be interested, and Taka, the guy I told you about, has another friend who would like to learn more. So I was thinking we could sort of do a group class."

"To what end?" he asked curiously.

"To prepare us for what's ahead."

He didn't ask what she thought that might be, and she didn't offer any explanation. She knew he felt it the same way that the others did. Battle: war, and at the heart of it would be her, and the others; her parents, the other seishi, but Kaena and hers were vital; they were the hope.

"Sure," he said. "I teach an evening class on Wednesdays until nine, but my other evenings are pretty open. Let me know when and where."

"Excellent. Now I just have to let Taka know he's gained some students."

Luke smiled and patted her shoulder congenially. She liked him more and more as they interacted. She wondered if that was because now he was truly seeing her, or if she was allowing him to do so. Either way, she was glad to have such an insightful warrior (_lieutenant_). Startled, she glanced at him. He was to be her lieutenant. She had no idea how she knew that or what it meant, but she did. And Taka was her general. She shook her head, and gathered up her books. "See you Friday."

He waved as she departed, still startled by the revelation. Was this thing, whatever it was, was it truly going to be war? She prayed that her intuition was wrong.

Kaena went straight from class to the campus library to pick up a few of her favorite Western novels for her father to read. She guessed he'd read some of them, but most British and American literature wasn't as widely known in Japan as it was here. She picked up a copy of The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde, The Red Badge of Courage by Stephen Crane, as well as a slew of nonfiction titles on everything from volcanoes to dog breeds. At the very least, her poor father would have something to do. That is, if his wife would ever let him be.

Kaena conspired to drag her mother to her place for dinner later, hence the books. She knew her father was very much like her, and as much as she wanted to spend time with him after coming so close to losing him, she knew it was selfish and that he wanted, neigh, needed, to be alone. So she gathered up her loot and headed over to the university hospital, which was a short walk from the library, and found her father arguing with her mother over whether or not he needed help in the shower.

"Miaka," he scowled. "I would rather sit on the floor in that disgusting shower than be assisted again! I'm not an invalid."

"You're just being stubborn," she pulled on his arm, and as a show to how weak he was feeling, was actually moved to stand by her tugging.

"Mama, you're nagging again," Kaena entered the room. Her father was shuffling tiredly to the shower, clearly losing the argument. "May I pose a solution to your problem?"

"Please do," her papa's scowl deepened and she smiled. She knew he wasn't truly annoyed, more like . . . crowded.

"Mama will help you clean up, and then I'll take her out to dinner and to my apartment for the night, leaving you to get some peace and quiet."

"Darling, are you implying that I bring strife and noise?"

"That's exactly what she's implying," her father's eyes glinted with amusement. He clearly liked this plan.

"I don't really feel good about leaving him here . . . what if something happens?" she began to shake her head when her father firmly took her shoulders and looked into her hazel eyes.

"There is a security guard, a world class medical staff, and the threat of being sued keeping me from harm. And you are going to drive me to drink," he grumbled. "I will agree to the indignity of an assisted shower, if you agree to leave me alone."

Her mother's large eyes began to tear and Kaena winced in preparation for argument, but finally she set her face, took her husband's arm, and closed the bathroom door, leaving Kaena alone in the room. She set the books down on the bedside table and opened up the novel by Oscar Wilde to pass the time. As she skimmed the first few pages and began to read the end in earnest, a troubling thought occurred to her. The main character, Dorian Gray, was good looking and of good breeding. He made a fateful wish that made it so a portrait of him took on his aging and the signs of his debauchery instead of his own body and face. As he aged, the picture decayed further, but even though there were whispers about him within society, people still largely perceived him to be a sweet-faced young man that was too angelic to ever commit any evil. Blonde haired, fair eyed Dorian Gray bore a striking resemblance to her nordic father, and the similarity troubled her. She saw only the kind, somewhat tart exterior of her father, but what if there really was something behind him, some dark portrait that concealed the evils he had committed, that kept him fresh while it suffered?

She pushed the idea and the book aside together. If her father were hiding seedy secrets, her mother would surely know. It sounded like she had been privy to almost everything that had happened to him in his past life, and naturally such a moral crusader like her mother wouldn't be with somebody she saw to be evil or even just unfit. Her mind immediately supplied the idea that perhaps there was something more sinister to their marriage, but then shook her head. Her mother was an open book and her father, while not exactly forthcoming, had never been less than truthful. Even when he withheld information, Kaena knew it was being withheld. She put the book down and picked up one of the non-fiction books, taking her mind off of it by exploring volcanoes.

A half hour later, looking ragged and harassed, her father returned to his bed. Kaena sat down next to him. "I brought you some books," she pulled a couple of them out randomly. "I thought you might want to catch up on your reading, but maybe you should be resting."

"Reading is resting," he snatched the book she was holding out of her hand. "The Picture of Dorian Gray?"

"It's a British novel. You should read it—I . . . well, it's one of my favorites, anyway. Mama, come on, we should go. You look like you need a drink."

Kaena waited for her mother to change her sodden clothes and grab her purse, and then they were off. As Kaena pulled the door shut behind her, she recalled the ending of the Wilde novel. Dorian Gray had been tormented by the cruel image of himself, and had eventually sought to destroy the evidence of his evil pact. He had stabbed the portrait in the heart, and had later been found, aged and depraved body sprawled on the floor, with a knife through his heart. She wondered what Taka knew about this mysterious past, and what she could wheedle out of him. After all, had he not run a knife through her father's heart as well?

By the weekend, Kaena had convinced Taka to lead a class in basic martial arts and chi control. He, personally, had no idea how he had been talked into it, because he seemed to recall being unwilling at first. He had argued with her for half an hour, and somehow at the end of it, he found himself standing in a reserved room in Kaena's condo community's fitness center. Vinny, Kaena's friend Marsden, who Taka really disliked, and a man who was apparently her professor, stood across from him. He frowned thoughtfully. They were all wearing loose fitting gym type clothes and looking somewhat nervous.

Kaena entered and locked the door behind her. "We have this room for about two hours."

"Have you all been introduced?" Taka asked awkwardly. They shook their heads. "Well, I'm Taka, I guess I'm your instructor. My credentials are, shall we say, extensive? But I don't feel the need to go into them. It'll be apparent that I know what I'm doing soon enough. That's Vinny," he nodded to his friend. "Do you want to say a few words?"

"Uh," Vinny shrugged. "I'm Vinny, I'm a teacher too, I teach chemistry. I just found out about my powers about last week, but I've had a lesson or two with this guy and it seems like my power is to manipulate matter."

"I'm Marsden," he said awkwardly. "I'm a friend of Kaena's, and I have some memories of a past life, and apparently some power, but I have no idea how to use it."

The prof nodded. "I'm Luke. I'm one of Kaena and Marsden's professors and my power is mostly telekinetic and telepathic," he demonstrated by picking up one of the foam floor mats, rotating it, and setting it back down. "I've got some practice, but could use refining."

"Great. Well, first, Kaena and I will demonstrate some of what we'll be teaching you. You have to learn first to perceive chi, and then to manipulate it. I think the best way to do this is with a demonstration. Kaena?"

Kaena, who was dressed in a tantalizing, hip hugging pair of shorts and a cropped t-shirt, stepped over to him. Taka unleashed his chi and felt his power swell. Luke let out a low whistle. Vinny squinted like he was not quite able to perceive what was happening yet, and Marsden was looking between them like they were crazy. Kaena then opened herself up, and her violent violet aura whipped her hair around. She didn't have quite the same control that Taka had, but she sure had power.

"Damn," Luke remarked.

"Let's do a little spar, first with physical blows, then chi. Watch how our chi circulates around us as we move. If you can't see the chi, close your eyes and listen. Sometimes it's easier to hear it than to see it, at first."

He lowered himself into a fighting stance and Kaena crouched as well, a grin plastered across her beautiful face. She was clearly excited, and Taka felt a thrill run up his spine. He could never have done this with Miaka. The physical side of him sung in anticipation, and she pounced. Her body was long as his, but much smaller. Her litheness gave her a distinct speed advantage, and she was under his defenses in no time. He recoiled and blocked just before her little fist slammed into his face. He rebuffed her and she wasted no time in lending a hard kick to his side.

"Damn," someone said again, maybe Vinny. He wasn't paying that much attention to the audience.

Deliberately, he used his chi to regain his stance and go for the attack. He feinted, once, twice, but she didn't follow the feint. Instead, she easily blocked the kick aimed at her gut.

"She's following the movement of my chi to anticipate my moves," he said to his class. "But that can also be used against someone."

Suddenly, he channeled his chi to make it look like he would kick again, but instead he lashed out with his fist and struck her hard in the face. He winced, apologizing. She grinned again and wiped the blood from her nose before leveling yet another attack. She certainly didn't waste time! She repaid him for the hit to her nose, and boxed his ears so they rung.

He smirked, amused at the spirit with which she fought, but knew he couldn't let his pride be wounded by letting her appear to beat him, so he double feinted again, this time using his chi as a decoy, and wrapped one leg around behind her knees, pulling her to the floor beneath him. She bucked and struggled, cursing like a sailor all the while, but she couldn't move. His slow grin was mischievous, and he leaned down and pecked her on the cheek. He wanted to do a lot more, but Vinny's catcalling whistle broke him out of his reverie. He got up and offered Kaena his hand, which she declined.

"So tell me what you saw," Taka instructed, pointing at Luke.

He seemed a little embarrassed by their affection, but answered nonetheless. "Your chi was reactive, while hers is offensive. Probably because you didn't want to hit your girlfriend."

"Good. Marsden? What did you see?"

"Nothing more than you two pummeling each other. Weird foreplay," he muttered.

"Vinny?"

He seemed thoughtful, and Taka wasn't sure if he was thinking or stumped. He opened his mouth and then paused again. "Her aura is strange. I mean, it's different from yours, Taka, and these guys."

Kaena stiffened. "How do you mean?"

"Well, first there's the color. It changes, doesn't it? Taka's is always red, and I've been sensing them more and more lately, and most people's stay the same. Kaena's is purple, but it varies wildly in shade. It was lighter just now, more like lilac, but then when she was pinned down, it turned darker. And then there's . . . I guess in music you would call it the clarity or purity. In Taka's you can see all sorts of junk about who he is, because it's kind of tied up in memories. But yours is different. It's like it's separate, like a well you tap into, but it doesn't really touch you."

Taka looked at Kaena, really looked at her, and felt like an idiot for not really understanding it sooner. It was true, everything Vinny said. She had seemed very unique to him, but he hadn't been able to put his finger on why until now. "Very good, Vinny. You're starting to really catch the subtleties. Most people's auras, if you're not careful, can betray a lot about them. Now watch us fight with just our chi."

Taka's stomach growled loudly. He was starting to get really hungry, but he ignored it. He didn't crouch this time, and Kaena stood across from him. He drew his chi close inside so that he wouldn't advertise so obviously, hoping Vinny might still be able to glean something from him. The man's abilities were growing by the hour and Taka couldn't wait to see him at his full potential. In reply, Kaena allowed her aura, now a deep, midnight purple, to swell around her.

"Oh!" Marsden suddenly exclaimed. "I see it."

She spared him a glance, and then returned her focus to Taka himself. The man watched her curiously, waiting for her to make the first move, but she only stood there waiting for him. He shrugged and sent a broad, undefined burst of chi toward her. Her violet aura blocked him almost automatically. Stunned, he tried again.

"Your attacks are too blunt for her," Vinny advised. "Try something more subtle."

Taka glanced at the man, wondering how he knew, but thought he might be right. Her aura was vast and reached from a deep well to gain whatever she needed, or whatever she thought she needed. Instead of attacking with brute force, he charged up an enormous amount of chi, and her aura changed in reply, but he sent only a minute amount against her, and her shield changed to suit it. Too quickly, he followed up his small attack with a larger one that wasn't meant to hurt her, only to push her backward into the wall. Her adjustment was too slow, and she went flying hard into the wall. She didn't get up right away.

Concerned, he went to her, and peered down at her. She was dazed but fine. So there were weaknesses to her apparently invincibility. She reached out, and Taka thought she wanted help up so he extended his hand in turn, but her blue eyes were far away, and suddenly Taka felt nauseous and sweaty, and wavered on his feet. The others rushed to catch him, but it was too late. He felt his vision go dark.


	8. Chapter 8: Warriors Gathering

Chapter Eight - Warriors Gathering

Taka awoke with a start. Kaena and Luke were leaning over him with worried expressions on their faces. His head was in something soft: Kaena's lap (which would explain why she was upside down to him), and Luke was fanning him with a piece of cardboard.

"What happened?" he asked, trying to push himself up. He felt woozy suddenly and laid back down. His hands were shaky as he tried to support himself on his elbows, and he sunk back down into Kaena's soft lap.

"I'm sorry," Kaena bit her lip. "I didn't mean for you to pass out."

"You did it?" he raised his eyebrows.

"I think I did. I was looking at the strings of fate in my mind's eye and saw one that looked promising related to you, so I tugged, and . . ."

"Drink this," Luke held a bottle of purple something or other to his lips and Taka sipped, and immediately started to feel better. He grabbed the drink and took several gulps only to have Luke take it back.

"You don't want to drink too much. I think your blood sugar dipped. You shouldn't drink too much or you might raise it too much. You don't have diabetes, do you?"

"No," he shook his head and was able to push himself up. Now that he was up, he was ravenous. His stomach growled loudly. "Can I have some more of that?"

"Just a few sips," Luke said, and then glanced at Kaena. "I have a sister who's diabetic. I recognized the symptoms, and I always carry Gatorade when I work out."

"Thanks," the Suzaku seishi was able to sit on his own, though Kaena still kept a hand on his back. His hands still shook a little. "I think I need some food."

"I'll go get something," Vinny hurried out, leaving an awkward looking Marsden hovering nearby, and Kaena and her teacher carefully watching him. The young woman looked somewhat confused and worried.

"So when you play with fate, you grab these threads and things happen. Does that mean you can basically do anything you want?" Luke questioned.

She shook her head. "I can only do things that are represented by the threads. If there's no probability of something happening, I can't create the possibility. But if somebody is getting really hungry and their blood sugar is dipping already, I can pull on the string that would lead to him passing out or having a seizure. I didn't really mean to, though. I was staring at them and just sort of reached and it happened."

"Maybe you didn't do it, after all," Taka offered.

"No, I did," she frowned. "But I didn't really know what the threads represented.

The professor looked at her thoughtfully. "That sounds like something to figure out before you use that type of power again. It seems it happens accidentally sometimes, too, like when the light in the classroom broke. It would be bad if you accidentally pulled the thread for, say, an enormous gas explosion or something."

"I don't know how to figure that out."

"Well," Luke said thoughtfully. "I mentioned one of my powers is telepathy, right? When you were doing whatever it is you were doing, I was watching your mind in mind, and I could sort of vaguely see what you were doing. Maybe with practice I could observe what you're doing and see if I can help you figure it out."

She looked at him doubtfully, but nodded. "You can try, at least."

Vinny returned a moment later with a big greasy bag. He started handing out burgers from a local joint and sat down in their circle. Tentatively, Marsden approached, and Vinny passed him his burger. They ate in silence. Taka was ravenous and devoured his burger, wishing secretly for something else when Kaena put half of her burger in front of him. She wasn't smiling, and there was something sad in her expression. He gave her a wide smile to communicate his thanks and dug into the other half of her burger. His stomach bulged from the food, but he was feeling alive again. "I guess that's what I get for thinking I'd just eat after."

"Eat an apple next time, sheesh," Luke chided gently, licking his fingers. Taka liked the man. He was honest and talented, and something about him resonated with Taka the way that Hotohori and Nuriko had begun to resonate with him after a while. Vinny had always felt that way to him, but he still didn't like that Marsden guy. He was odd, and his power seemed weak and completely undeveloped. Taka tried to be nice to him regardless.

"I guess we should call it quits for today," he announced. He looked at Kaena, silently inquiring if she'd like to continue, but she looked emotionally exhausted. "Let's meet again on Tuesday. We can meet Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays from now on, if that's okay with you? And you should all practice in between. Feel other people's auras, experiment with your powers, carefully, and come ready to tell me what you've learned on your own."

Marsden didn't need a second invitation to scram, and he was gone before Taka had managed to stand up. Vinny helped him up and supported the shorter man against his side. Luke cleaned up their garbage and picked up his bag.

"I'll see you Monday, Kaena. I think we should keep these meetings to ourselves around the department. We don't want rumors flying."

"Agreed," she nodded, and he left.

"Do you need help getting back to your hotel, Taka?"

"No, I'm fine."

"He's coming with me," Kaena said firmly. Taka tried to protest, but the look on her face that was half stubborn, half-sick told him not to argue, so he smiled helplessly and shrugged. Vinny reluctantly let him go and he stood without a problem.

"I'll see you on Tuesday. Call me if you need and help moving tomorrow."

"How could I need help? I don't have anything left to move," he sighed. "Thanks, though. See you next week."

Kaena took his arm and slowly led him toward the elevator up to her floor. They rounded the corner to her place, and she made him sit down on the couch and put his feet up. She bustled around the kitchen for a few moments, and he turned his head to see what she was up to. The woman returned a few minutes later with hot milk laced with honey.

"It's too warm outside for a hot drink," he argued, but she made him drink it. It was good, that was for sure. She sat down next to him with her long leg bent beneath her body and watched him until he finished it all. Taka peered over the edge of his cup and made a big show of finishing every last drop. He sighed in exaggerated satisfaction and set the glass down with a grin.

"Are you sure you're all right?"

"I fainted, I didn't have a seizure," he laughed. "Come on, I didn't even hit my head. I'm fine. Spry as ever, even for an old man."

She snorted. "Old man my foot. You were kicking my ass."

He reached suddenly for her nose and she turned her head warily. He waited for her to relax and then grasped her chin, looking at her nose. It was swollen, but it didn't look broken. "You should ice that. Sorry, by the way."

"You don't have to apologize. We were demonstrating, it was necessary."

"Right. So take your own advice. We were showing them what we had. You obviously had a lot more than me in that instance. I'm okay, really-" he jokingly fought her worried hands as they reached for his forehead to check his temperature. "Kaena!"

She frowned.

He leaned forward and kissed her lips. She tried to draw away, but he gently took hold of her head and kept her pressed to him. She slowly relaxed. Their tongues danced, and Kaena leaned forward into him, her hands on his shoulders. It seemed she had a thing for shoulders. She was always touching them. She reached for the buttons of his shirt, opening the first few and running her lithe fingers over the smooth skin of is chest—and back to his shoulders.

"You don't have to," he said gently. "I know I pushed you before. You don't have to feel obligated."

"I told you, if I hadn't wanted to, you wouldn't have been able to walk our of the room unassisted. I wanted to then, I was just nervous," she kissed him passionately, and he felt his body melting against hers, hands trailing under her shirt, pulling it up over her head so he could kiss her heaving breasts.

"And now?"

"I want to," she whispered, pushing him to his back. Taka grinned and allowed her to climb over him. He couldn't help thinking that he somehow doubted Miaka would have ever been this bold with him. He shook the thought—this was about Kaena, not her mother. She pulled his shirt off and kissed her way down his chest and stomach. Her hair, still tied in a high ponytail, slipped over her shoulder and tickled his nose. He sneezed.

She lifted an eyebrow.

He reached around and pulled the elastic from her hair so it spilled around them. His hands wandered to her back and undid her bra, exploring her perfect, pale breasts with his hands. She closed her eyes and arched slightly before reaching down and unbuttoning his pants. He followed her example, leaving her lovely body naked above him.

"Are you sure you're up to this? Maybe I should stop . . ." she started to climb off of him.

"No!" he cried painfully. His groin was tight with excitement. Belatedly, he realized she was teasing him. "You're cruel."

She smiled evilly and lowered herself over him, face changing even as she did so. She seemed nervous now. The tightness of her brows expressed her discomfort and he stroked her cheek lightly. She seemed frustrated by her own hesitance and looked down at him with a frown. He could sense her sudden reluctance, as if she were forcing herself to act this way, to be this way.

"You don't have to continue if you don't want to," he said gently, much as it pained him. He would have to make a date with a freezing cold shower, doubtless, but he didn't want to cause her discomfort.

"I thought I was ready to be bold," she admitted, and her voice sounded very young. "Maybe not."

She sat up, their bodies still connected, and he followed suit, taking hold of her back and carefully helping her lay down. She looked up at him, face flushed with embarrassment, and he nuzzled her neck and waited.

"Why are you so wonderful?" she whispered.

"I guess I was just made that way," he grinned down at her, and they made love together. Afterwards, she snuggled against him, and this time he was the one who lay awake for a long time.

Kaena sat up with a start, looking around wildly. Taka was naked beside her, with his backside hanging off the edge of the couch. He had turned the lights off, but that was it. She laid back down. Something felt wrong, like she had forgotten something. She looked out the window of her beautiful condo and saw the reflection of the sun's first rays as a new day was born.

Born.

Birth.

Crap.

Kaena sat upright again, and this time Taka groaned, shifting so his face was toward her. "We didn't use any birth control!"

Taka's eyes opened at that! A range of emotions flooded his features, but eventually they settled on calm. He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her back down. "We'll go to Planned Parenthood and get you the morning after pill, and then we'll get some birth control."

"I don't know if I want to use the pill," she bit her lip.

"So we'll get a stockpile of condoms and hide them all over the apartment so there's always one within reach," he laughed a little. "Come on, it'll be okay."

"You don't," she paused, not wanting to embarrass him but needing to know. "Have any diseases, do you? Like STDs?"

He shook his head. "I always use protection. Except this time. But I don't think that's actually ever happened before."

"Will you get tested with me?"

He nodded his sleepy assent and she turned to her side so she faced him again. His strong arms were wound around her again, and his naked body was warm against hers. He had retrieved a blanket from somewhere, but it had slipped to the floor. She sat up and grabbed it, pulling it up to her chin.

"How many partners?" she asked quietly, suddenly insecure. She knew he had never had sex with her mother, but he'd had fifteen years to accumulate conquests. The age difference seemed suddenly apparent.

"No fair asking me while 'm tired," he grumbled. "Talk in the morning?"

"All right," she allowed herself to be cradled by him, but it took a long time before she was able to sleep.

The next morning, Kaena woke up alone on the couch. She could hear the shower and noticed there was coffee and a small stockpile of donuts on the counter. The woman went to her closet and rummaged for a nightgown before returning to the kitchen to eat. She felt a bit tender after last night—emotionally and physically—her nose hurt, and despite Taka's enthusiastic assurance that he wasn't scared of her, she still doubted. And now she had to worry about pregnancy on top of things.

The man himself emerged from the shower a few minutes later, hair sparkling with water, a towel wrapped around his waist. She flushed in remembrance of the last time he'd emerged from her shower in a towel. He kissed her deeply and she drew back dizzily.

"What was that for?"

"Apology for being stupid enough to have sex without protection," he said sheepishly. "I should have been thinking."

"You're not the one who could get pregnant," she pointed out. "I should have realized."

"You're not really, you know, experienced. I am, I should have known better. Besides, you can catch more than a kid from unprotected sex."

"But you don't have anything, you said."

"Did you trust me?"

She nodded numbly.

"First mistake. I don't, and you can trust me, but you can't trust everybody."

"I'm not one of your students," she said sourly, but secretly thought she deserved his chiding. He knew she didn't have anything: he had been her first. She did not have the same reassurance about him.

Taka had wandered off to get dressed, and Kaena followed, nibbling at a glazed donut filled with jelly. She licked the jelly thoughtfully.

"You said we could talk in the morning. Where are you rushing off to anyway?"

"I was going to go back to my hotel and pick up a change of clothes before we go to the clinic," he said sensibly, holding his pants. She blushed again at the sight of him half naked in her bedroom. What they had done last night seemed distant and separated, like it hadn't really been them. She felt her body tingle a little and wanted to touch him.

He pulled his pants on and tossed the towel in the hamper. "What do you want to talk about?"

Suddenly shy, she sat down on the corner of the bed and looked at him with big eyes. It seemed easier in the panic of last night to ask him bold questions. She frowned. "How many women have you been with before me?"

"Why do you want to know?" he sat down as well, taking her hand. It was sticky, and he laughed a little.

"It's better to know than to imagine dozens of women left in your wake. I don't want to feel like I'm crowded," she told him, but secretly thought she wanted to know if he was really that much more experienced than her. She felt shy about it, though he didn't seem to have any qualms with her performance.

He laughed again and she lifted her brows, not sure what to make of the response. "There certainly haven't been dozens. Three, four maybe? I used to try to go to the bars to pick up girls and do the typical one-night stand thing, but it just didn't work. I didn't want that, I wanted somebody to love me. So I had a short, very short, series of girlfriends that didn't much work out. I think the longest one lasted about eight months, and I didn't sleep with all of them."

She did the math in her head and drew her brows together. "That would mean you had large periods of celibacy."

He shrugged. "It didn't really bother me. I mean, not that I don't enjoy sex. I do! But if it didn't mean anything, it wasn't really worth it. I knew they were just pale substitutes for what I really wanted, so I couldn't keep it going."

"Paler than me?" she grinned, rubbing her creamy skin.

"Much paler," his smile in return warmed her heart.

"So if you don't mind my asking, what was your first time like? Just out of curiosity."

He sighed deeply and bent over his knees, looking sideways at her from his odd vantage. "It was . . . a mistake. I had just come back to life and Miaka was married and I was having strange dreams about you—as an adult, not a kid—and my siblings had all grown up without me and had their own lives. I was confused and stupid, and when my younger brother invited me out to go drinking with him, I did. We both ended up picking up girls there. He had no interest in the girl as a person, and they took off together at some point, leaving me with her friend. Her name was Chiaki. She was adorable and reminded me a lot of your mom, but she had great dimples. The trains had stopped running by this time, so we were just walking around, and she said she lived nearby and that we should go back. I guess my first tip should have been that she told me not to speak until we were in her room.

"We talked quietly for a while yet, and then she kissed me, and I kissed her back, and all I could think of was how lonely I was now that everybody had moved on. So she started talking my shirt off, and I started . . . well, you know how it goes. We were laying in her bed after, and she rolled over, and said, 'Thanks for helping me get that over with. Bye.'

"Naturally, I was confused. She explained that her friends had told her she was too old to be a virgin—imagine how silly I felt being about twenty-two at the time—and that she should go to the bar to find a good looking guy to lose it to. That would be me. She told me I should go out the window so her dad wouldn't hear, and I asked her how old she was. She said sixteen."

"That's legal in Japan," Kaena pointed out.

"But I still didn't feel right about it. I guess I've always had a complex. Anybody younger than your mom felt too young," he sighed. "Still does, kind of. So anyway, I gathered up my clothes and climbed out the window feeling deceived and lonelier than ever. I hadn't been expecting true love, but I guess I had wanted more. It was a disappointment, to say the least. I was even more depressed after that, and thought about suicide for a while."

"Why didn't you?" she asked quietly.

"You," he shrugged. "I still had that vision in my head, and I knew you would need me eventually. I guess everybody wants to feel useful."

"You waited for me," she realized, feeling oddly lifted. It should have been creepy knowing he was just biding his time until she wasn't a child, but it didn't, because she knew he wasn't waiting for her to be an adult for his benefit, but for hers.

"More or less. Like I said, loneliness and hormones can overwhelm all resolve at times. But not lately, that's for sure. Part of me wanted to stay available so if you did turn up, I'd be ready. Is that weird?"

She shook her head and smiled, and he leaned over to kiss her cheek when the creaking of the door raised the hairs on the back of her neck. Taka silently motioned for her to stay put, and prowled into the hallway. Kaena followed stubbornly, and was horrified to see her mother standing with her hands on her hips at the open door.

"What were you thinking leaving the door unlocked after all that's happened?" she chided, and then her gaze became suddenly suspicious. "And what are you doing here so early?"

Taka drew in a sudden breath and mentally checked the clues off the list in his head. He was at Kaena's place unreasonably early in the morning wearing nothing but pants, and Kaena was standing behind him in a nightgown. His eyes involuntarily slid to the couch where he noted the cushions were sliding off the couch. One was sticking up at an odd angle.

"Oh," Miaka said, and made a noise that suggested she did not want to think about it one bit. "I guess that would explain it."

"What are you doing here?" Kaena asked curiously. "Do you want a donut?"

Miaka eyed the donuts longingly, but judging resigned expression, her slowing metabolism would not allow for such indulgences. She shook her head and peeled her eyes from the delectable pastries. "Your father kicked me out again. He's reading that Oscar Wilde book you left him. He says the English is hard to follow even for him, but he's enjoying it and wants to enjoy it alone, without a nervous wife hovering over his shoulder."

"How is he doing?" Taka asked as he moved back toward the bedroom to pull his shirt over his head.

"He's getting stronger by the day. Strong enough to walk around a bit and care for himself as long as he's sitting. I think he'll be all right. We're hoping to go home in another two weeks or so," he heard her call, and then say something softly to Kaena.

"No, you don't have to leave," Kaena's voice floated from the hallway. "But we do have . . . an errand to run later. That you can't come to. And it's kind of urgent."

He returned to the room to see Miaka had taken a seat at the kitchen table, longingly staring at the donuts. "Do you have any eggs?" she asked sadly.

Kaena went to the fridge and pulled out a huge carton of large eggs, which Miaka set to scrambling. She also made herself a piece of whole wheat toast and poured a large glass of milk. Taka wondered when his metabolism would start to catch up to him like that. He still ate—and felt—like a teenager most of the time. Physically, his body didn't seem to be his age. All that dying and being reborn seemed to have gifted him with eternal youth, or at least a whole lot of it.

"So you're together," Miaka said casually. "Really?"

"I guess so," Kaena said tentatively, looking trapped. Her gaze cried for rescue from this conversation, but he didn't know what to say. "I mean, we're not living together or anything."

"The term girlfriend seems a little . . . ehh . . . it hits too close to home," Taka said with a deep frown. The last thing he needed was to associate Kaena with the word 'girl.' "Significant other?"

"Partner?" Kaena suggested helpfully, with a hopeful smile upon her lovely features. He wanted to ravish her. Her body showed just enough through the nightie that he found himself getting a little excited.

He nodded. "Perhaps you should go change?"

"Good idea!" she wasted no time in making her escape. Taka's blood flow returned to his head, momentarily, and he turned his full attention to the woman he had once loved. He tried to help her, but she shoed him and sat down to her eggs, still heavily salted, and toast and milk. He didn't see an old woman when he looked at her, or any of the others, for that matter, but they were grown old now, at least beyond their primes. Hell, even Chiriko was older than him now.

"So what's this urgent business today?" she questioned curiously, chewing her lightly buttered toast thoughtfully. "Something to do with your state of undress and the upturned couch cushions, perhaps?"

"We're going to get some birth control," he admitted.

"That's responsible, and clearly only half of that story. That's not urgent."

"Sure it is," he said without thinking, and grinned lopsidedly at her deadpan stare. "Sorry. Well, we, um, I, last night we forgot protection. So we need to handle that, and make sure it doesn't happen again."

"Taka! You should know better!"

"I know, I know," he sat down across from her and thudded his head into the table. "I'll take care of it. I'm not going to let anything happen to her. I know you have your doubts, but you trust me, don't you?"

"Of course I do," she said softly, looking up at him with her soft hazel eyes. "But part of me can't help but wonder if you're trying to recapture what we had by being with her. Or maybe even subconsciously trying to get some kind of revenge."

"Revenge on who?" he demanded, incensed. It was one thing to accuse them of being stupid, but it was another to accuse him of being malevolent. He bit his tongue.

"I don't know, Taka, on fate, on me, on Nakago, or all three?"

"I would never use Kaena that way!" he slammed his hands on the table and stood up, pacing angrily. How dare she imply such an ugly thing! How dare she! And how dare she place those doubts in his mind after he had been so sure it was love? Could it be that he was trying to do that, even subconsciously? He shook his head. "Miaka, you know I'm not that evil."

"I know," she conceded. "It's just a mother's worry. You'll forgive me that, won't you? You're her first, well, everything, it seems. She's young."

"I know that."

"She's innocent and trusting, at least of you. If you hurt her . . . I fear what will happen."

"Don't you think I know that?" his voice was harsh and he tried to calm himself, but she was playing on every insecurity he had and it hurt for her, of all people, to do that. Even if she didn't mean to. "I know what's at stake better than you. This adventure is ours now. Don't worry yourself over it."

Miaka smiled her wooden smile, the one that didn't reach her eyes, just as a wet-haired Kaena returned wearing a simple cap-sleeve knit top in a flattering green, and jeans. Miaka stood up. "I'll find myself a coffee shop and entertain myself while you run your errands. Let me treat you both to dinner later, all right? Call me when you're finished with your errand."

Taka sat down hard at the table and Kaena silently wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing his head. Miaka was wrong. He loved this woman. He would prove that, in time.

Kaena slathered on copious amounts of sunscreen as they climbed the stands of Wrigley field. It was summer now, and the afternoon game was well attended, though hardly packed. The stadium smelled yeasty from beer and slightly salty from the sweat of the fans. Mostly school kids filled out the cheap seats, which was one section better than their atrocious seats. Kaena had offered to buy them all better seats, but Taka thought it might be a little insulting, so they climbed to just about the worst seats in the stadium and sat down with Taka's friends. They had originally been invited by his friend Mark, who got the tickets free from some promotion or another at work, but their friends had started to drop out, so Kaena had been invited, along with Luke and Taka's friend Andy's girlfriend and twin sister.

Kaena noticed the twins immediately, and not just because of their dusky Indian skin, or their thick, black braids that fell to their waists. These women had power! And they were Kaena's. She glanced at Andy, too, and noticed something about him she hadn't seen during their last meeting. A candle-flame of power flickered within him. Had Taka noticed? She looked significantly at him, but he only smiled.

"You met Andy before," he introduced as they climbed over the gangling young man. He looked to be in his late teens, but she knew he was actually almost five years Kaena's senior. He smiled shyly up at her.

"This is my girlfriend Kaberi1," he said with a smile. "And her sister Kajri2."

"Hello, I'm Kaena," she said thoughtfully. The twins smiled pleasantly and then glanced at each other significantly. Kaberi's brown eyes gazed into her, through her, and she felt suddenly naked. She sat down between Taka and Andy, curious about the girl's obvious power. He sensed a flood about her, like some great Poseidon lived within. Her sister gave her a distinct impression that she could blow a building over with a single thought.

"Who are we playing?" Andy asked. "I don't really watch baseball."

"The Royals," Vinny cracked his knuckles. "This should be an interesting game!"

"You mean a boring game," Taka sighed. "The Royals and the Cubbies are consistently the worst teams in the league. I should have moved to Boston."

"BOO!" Vinny snarled. "How can you say that? That's sacrilege! You know the Jackals are the best team in the league."

"If by best, you mean 'drops more balls than a marble maker,' sure!" Taka laughed as Vinny's ears turned red.

Kaena went back to slathering herself with sunscreen. Although baseball was reportedly the American past time, and her home country was equally, if not more, enthusiastic about the sport, she had never actually seen a game. She didn't even really know the rules. Her parents were not exactly sports fans.

"Kaena?" Kaberi leaned around Andy, who was looking at a brochure of baseball statistics in puzzlement. "Is that a Japanese name?"

"I'm half Japanese," she affirmed. "Are you and your sister natives of India?"

"Yes, we both moved here as children when our father took a job at De Paul University, but we visit India yearly in order to reground."

"Papa says that American children grow up spoiled and without religion. We go home for a pilgrimage and to make sure we remember our roots," Kajri added. She was wearing a white peasant blouse that covered her smooth skin from shoulder to elbow, tight-fitting linen pants, and a colorful sari which covered the exposed décolletage. Kaena couldn't tell if this was for modesty, or simply for fashion. Her sister was dressed in a more modern fashion, with blue shorts that hit her at the knee and a colorful cap-sleeve blouse with complicated embroidery along the neckline.

"Andrew, switch seats with me," Kaberi said sweetly, and suddenly both girls were sitting on either side of her, with Taka and Andy exiled to the end of the row.

"Do you watch much baseball?" Kajri asked, glancing at the field. The green grass was just being readied for the game.

Kaena shook her head. "No, I've never seen it before."

"Oh!" Kaberi exclaimed. "Then I must explain it to you."

The next ten minutes were spent in discussion of the rules of baseball, Kaberi and Kajri's favorite players and teams, and their own short stints as baseball stars on their high school team. There hadn't been a girls team, they explained, so they played for the boys. It had taken all the politicking her father had in him to allow them, but they had played for two seasons, until they graduated. Kaena liked these girls. Between them, she didn't have to say a word, but still felt included in their conversation.

They stood when the announcer instructed them to stand for the national anthem. Kaena stood respectfully and put her hand to her heart like the others, though she didn't sing. Taka, she noted, also didn't sing, but Vinny sang so loud she could hear him several seats away. When they finished, he looked fiercely proud.

"This is what America is about," Vinny said happily.

"A sport?" Kaena leaned around Chuck and his girlfriend to ask.

"It's more than a SPORT! It's about people coming together to push each other and better each other, and people watching and supporting them. It's about enjoying God's great outdoors," he signed the cross over his chest. "And spending time with friends! It's incredible!"

Kaena wasn't sure what to make of his fierce loyalty to the sport, but she noted he wasn't the only person what the look in his eye when the Cubs entered the field in their blue, red, and white. They entered to enthusiastic applause and cheers, and they waved happily in reply. No team, Kaberi informed Kaena, was as beloved as the Cubs. Even if they lost almost all the time, their fans were always there to support them. Next came the Royals in their white and blue, and they received a lukewarm welcome. They didn't seem to mind the lack of cheers when they got to hit first. Kaena watched curiously as the pitcher and catcher made complicated hand signals to one another, though she couldn't make out what those signals might be from this great distance. In fact, she could barely make out who was who from here, even with binoculars.

The Royals made a shockingly good hit and the player began running around the bases, stopping on third. By the end of the inning, the Royals had a point, and the Cubs and their fans were started to look dejected. An inauspicious start, it seemed.

"We have to use the restroom. Kaena, would you care to join us?" they asked, but also bodily grabbed her and pulled her to her feet. Curious and unwilling to make a scene by struggling, she allowed herself to be hauled up the stands to the exit and into the stinky, revolting bathroom.

She waited with brows lifted and arms folded as the twins used the facilities and began to wash their hands. Once they had finished, they approached her as a set. "Yes?"

"What is this power we sense in you?" Kaberi questioned her, not accusingly, but with some calculation in her gaze.

"I'm a mage," she explained. "You feel my chi."

"And you, can you sense anything about us?"

"Other than that you are incredibly powerful and you," she pointed to Kaberi, "control water while you," he finger moved to Kajri, "control wind? Nothing aside from that."

The sisters looked at each other in surprise. "Are you her?"

"I don't know what you-"

"The one we've dreamed of. You must be. Krishna gifted us with dreams. You are the one to put all magic in its place and banish demons," Kajri said, dark eyes sparkling with excitement. "We are your servants, and we are here indeed to serve."

"I'm not sure what you're talking about," she edged aside. She wasn't some slayer of demons or whatever. She knew something was coming, but it wasn't something so universal that the Hindu gods would care to be involved, of that she was sure. "I'm not Hindu."

"You don't have to be Hindu to serve Krishna and Vishnu. We all do the bidding of the gods one way or another, and there are no rules as to which one you must believe in order to fulfill your duties."

Kaena considered. These women felt a pull toward her, and she toward them. Immediately she had liked them and wanted to know more of their power. Taka, Luke, Marsden, and Vinny made four of her warriors, and Kaberi and Kajri made six. If it followed in the trend of the beast gods' servants, there should be one more. "Andy. Does he have power?"

"He has great strength. His strength is silence. He stills chaos and calms hearts, but he has no idea. We haven't told him. Perhaps that's because you should be the one to tell him. We must know you better to prepare for what is to come."

The blonde woman ran her fingers thoughtfully through her hair and looked at the women. Their power fairly sought escape from their petite bodies, yet they seemed contained and disciplined. And she was curious about their special powers—did they know magic from their tradition that she had never even encountered? Something about this encounter frightened her, but she was likewise comforted by it. "We meet on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays to hone our skills. We've been meeting in the gym of my building, but I think with you three there will be too many of us. Can you suggest a better place?"

The women looked at each other and nodded. "We will locate a suitable place," Kaberi said.

And so Kaena had gathered her seven. Disconcerted, and feeling like crisis was drawing ever nearer, they returned to their seats. Taka leaned over and silently asked her what was up. Her return gaze promised an explanation—a better one than he'd gotten so far—later. The twins sat thoughtfully, their previous chattered dissipated as the game played out. The Royals won in the end, and Kaena wondered if her team would be like the Royals, or the spirited but outmatched Cubs in the battle to come.

1Full of water

2Cloud-like


	9. Chapter 9: Fate's Justice

AN: Sorry for the delay in getting this out. I suddenly had to take a trip to Minnesota last weekend, and then defended my master's thesis (successfully!) this week, so things have been a bit hectic. My life is going to be a bit crazy until July 15th or so, but I hope to try to remember to upload here. Feel free to prod me via messages if I forget! -nel

Chapter Nine – Fate's Justice

Kaena walked to campus on a sweltering day in early mid-June to pick up her finals and evaluation for the semester. Things had been going smoothly in training. Kaberi and Kajri proved to be excellent helpers and knew things about magic that Kaena had only dreamed about. She had learned, because of them, how to interpret the strings of fate rather than just blindly tugging them, and had gained serious control. Andy's power seemed to by as shy in appearing as he was, but he was making progress. Even Marsden was able to sense chi and utilize it in his physical attacks, which weren't terribly coordinated or powerful, but had their place.

She bumped into Luke in the hallways, literally, and stumbled back into the wall. She had been looking at the evals in her hands. He caught her smilingly and helped her regain her balance.

"How are the evals?" he asked.

"I haven't looked yet," she gave the envelope a dubious stare and tucked it into her messenger bag.

"They're good," he whispered conspiratorially. "I put in a good word for you. Your attitude as much improved, so your professors say, and Dr. Marian said you seem more excited about your research."

"I hate open panel evals," she grumbled.

"You look like you're dressed for a warm day. What's it like out there? I haven't been out since eight this morning," he said regrettably.

Two students walked by a gave appraising stares to Kaena and Luke and then walked off whispering and tittering with one another. Luke gave them an odd look and returned his attention to Kaena.

"It is pretty nice out."

"Do you want to grab some lunch?" he asked. "I have a proposition for you."

Kaena, who could always eat, was enticed by this offer. She quickly forgot about the odd glances from the girls in the hall, and followed her professor down the hall. She was glad it was summer, and was thinking of taking a brief vacation with Taka to Japan. He hadn't seen his family in a long time, and she wanted to check on her father to make sure he was healing as well as he said.

"That's her!" somebody whispered nearby, and Kaena craned her head. It was another graduate student, a first year who she didn't like much. And Luke had thought she was immature!

"She's hot," the guy's friend whispered back. "He's got good taste."

Luke ignored or didn't hear them, and they took the elevator to the first floor. Kaena looked down at her outfit—Bermuda shorts and a cotton tank top with flip flops—and didn't understand what the gossip was about. Those people had no way of knowing about Taka.

"What was that about?" she asked Luke, who was leading her toward his favorite cafe just off campus. She bustled to keep up with his long strides. He was definitely not dressed for the weather.

"Ignore them," he said as they made their way along the sidewalk. Kaena pulled her sunglasses out of her bag and tied her hair up. Summer in the midwest of the U.S. was nothing like anything she'd ever experienced in Japan. It was in the high 90s, and children and business men alike were sweltering. Luke looked seriously overdressed in his dockers and long sleeved button down. She did have to admit that it would be nice to go swimming.

They stood in line and ordered their sandwiches and iced teas, and finally sat down. It was crowded, which was good. It was noisy enough to drown out their voices if they wanted to discuss anything privately.

"So what's your proposition?" she asked, taking a big bite of her sub.

He unwrapped his sandwich and gave her an appraising look. "All my undergrads are gone for the summer, but I need somebody to help me with cataloguing some things. Do you want to be my RA?" he asked. "I know the pay is lousy and you don't really need it, and it probably interferes with your summer plans as well, but I could use some help and it would be nice to have you around to talk to if I ever get caught up with all my work. Besides, it looks great on a resume."

She opened her mouth to speak, and he went on.

"It would mostly involve sitting in an office and organizing journal articles by year and author, and creating an archive of some archeological artifacts I've had stored around the department. Religious artifacts and the like. I understand if you don't want to."

"That would be great. I was looking for something to do. Taka is teaching summer school four days a week, so I'm left to my own devices, which ordinarily wouldn't bother me, but without any class or homework to keep me busy I'll probably go crazy before long. Isn't Marsden one of your TAs?"

"Yeah, but he's almost done with his fellowship. He'll go off and get a real job of his own soon. Why? Are you interested in the opening?"

"God no," she said dryly. "I was just wondering if we would be working together at all."

"Probably not. He mostly handles my classes, and I'm only teaching one this term so he hasn't been around much. Did you want to work with him?"

"Not really," she said uncomfortably. Truth be told, Marsden had been annoying her a lot lately. He made it a point to bring up her father's 'past' each time they talked now, and it was starting to wear on her. What had she to do with her father's past, anyway? Nothing. And she could do nothing about it. "He's just been . . . odd . . . lately, don't you think? He seems kind of withdrawn. He's made a lot of progress, but ever since Kaberi and Kajri, and Andy started coming, he seems dejected and doesn't really want to participate."

"Hmm," he said thoughtfully. "I think he's been going through something. He does seem a little withdrawn, but I think he's just down and out. Maybe he's taking it out on you."

She sighed, shaking her head. Maybe she was imagining it. Things were going pretty well right now, and it was possible she was just letting her own dark thoughts and strange premonitions invade other parts of her life. Luke took her hand and patted it in a consoling manner, and she smiled.

Just then, another graduate student approached, and Luke ripped his hand from hers like it was acid. He looked up. "Diane," he greeted. "How are you today?"

"Fine. And how are you? And Kaena?" she lifted her brows in a challenging manner and smiled slightly.

"Fine," Kaena replied.

"We were just discussing the possibility of Kaena being my replacement RA for the summer. I could use another hand. Are you doing anything this summer?"

"Oh no, I wouldn't want to get in your way," she said with that strange grin. "Enjoy your . . . lunch."

Luke frowned and Kaena watched her leave, baffled. She glanced at her professor in question, and he shrugged and stuffed a large bite of sandwich into his mouth. His green eyes looked guarded, like he was hiding something, but she didn't want to press. They finished their lunch in a strained kind of silence, and parted ways outside the cafe. He returned to campus, and she opened the envelope containing her evals as she walked.

She had gotten an A in all of her classes, and her research project was going well. The faculty largely had positive things to say about her, though there was an odd comment about maintaining professional relationships with the faculty. She put the papers back in her bag and headed off toward the clinic. She had her first 'lady exam,' as her mother had put it, this afternoon. She was not looking forward to the appointment.

Later, while leaving the clinic, she ran into Diane, who was apparently running some errands in the neighborhood. She glanced up at the Planned Parenthood sign on the window, and her brows drew down in what appeared to be anger before she bustled off. Ignoring the strange encounter, Kaena called up Taka to see if he wanted to get dinner.

They had been all but living together for the past few weeks. He had a place of his own now, but had essentially moved all his important belongings to her condo, and was sleeping there almost every night. His friends knew to call her first if he wasn't answering his cell phone. They were, she thought, truly a couple. And very happy at that, at least she was. The last few weeks had been full of sweet gestures, romantic walks through Millennium Park, trips to Shedd and the Museum of Science and Industry—she was in love with museums, so this alone was a nice gesture, since she was pretty sure he didn't particularly care for them, preferring to read the history rather than look at little plaquerds. She couldn't have been more content with life. When Taka didn't answer, she decided to go home and make a nice dinner for him instead. He usually did the cooking these days, so it would be a nice surprise.

She walked home feeling rather chipper and started a pot of rice. She would make some Japanese food. She pulled out squares of nori and started cutting up vegetables and some tuna she had in the fridge. She started mixing the ingredients for okonomiyaki, whistling all the while. Kaena turned on some music and swayed slowly as she cooked and set the table. Being Luke's RA would probably be fun. It would be something useful to do, and something to put on her resume. She had been thinking of volunteering at the Field Museum, but this was probably better. She could always do both, she supposed. She wondered idly what kinds of artifacts he had. Kaena had always been partial to ancient Chinese artifacts. So much history was lost in China during the Cultural Revolution, so those artifacts were rare indeed. She doubted he would have that type of find laying around in his storage locker, though.

Kaena started setting out perfect sushi rolls and hot okonomiyaki when Taka called.

"Kaena? I can't come tonight," he said quickly. "I have something I have to handle. It's kind of an emergency situation with one of my students. I'll call you later. I hope you didn't get dinner yet."

"No," she said flatly. "Will you be by later?"

"I don't think so. This could take a while it's," he lowered his voice. "An abuse case, and the police are involved. I'm at the hospital now."

"All right, call me tomorrow to let me know how it turns out."

"I'll talk to you then," he hung up, and she hung the phone up on the wall. That was odd. He usually called her cell phone. She looked at it—dead. Disappointed and annoyed, she went to her room to plug the phone in. When it powered back up, she saw she had indeed missed three calls from him, and one from Marsden. There were no messages.

"He can call me back," she decided, staring at the number angrily. Why should she call him back if he couldn't even leave a message? But she was angry and lonely and wanted somebody to talk to, or at least take her frustration out on, so she clicked the redial button. It rang three times before he answered.

"Hello?"

"You called me," she said pointedly. "What do you want?"

"Nothing, it's not important," his voice was oddly soft. He wasn't a particularly loud or animated man, but something was off about him. She waited for him to say more, but he didn't.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, um . . . can we meet?"

"Are you hungry?"

"Sort of," he sounded a little sick.

"Come to my condo. I'll see you in a few minutes."

She hung up the phone and continued setting the food out. She put away the romantic candles she'd been planning to use, and turned off the soft jazz. It wasn't ten minutes before there was a knock on the door, and she stepped aside to allow him inside.

The man who was normally confident and, if not happy, at least not downcast, looked absolutely crushed. He stepped inside silently and gazed up at her from underneath his wet hair—it must have started to rain.

"What's-"

"There was an accident," he said softly. "My mom and sister were killed."

Kaena stared blankly for a minute before what he'd set fully sunk in. "I'm sorry," she said, ushering him inside to sit on the couch. "What happened?"

"My mom was driving my sister Anne home from a volleyball game, and it started raining suddenly, and they skidded across the dividing line. They were hit by a semi-truck. They were killed immediately." He put his head in his hands and cried.

Kaena awkwardly sat next to him, unsure of what to do. She patted his back and handed him a box of tissues, but he leaned over and cried softly against her shoulder. The woman sat stiffly, but couldn't help wondering, what if her parents were killed? And suddenly she was overwhelmed with empathy, remembering how horrible it had felt to not know if her father would make it. She tightened her arms around him and let the poor man sob until he had nothing left.

"Marsden, I'm so sorry," she said softly. He was only leaning against her now, but he didn't pull away for a time. Finally, he sat back, wiping his eyes.

"I'm sorry for appearing and just dumping this on you."

She shook her head, her dislike for him melting away. "Where are you from? Will you have to travel far for the funeral?"

"I'm from Decorah—it's a town in Iowa. I'll . . . I guess I have to make the arrangements. My dad died a long time ago. I'm the only one . . . the only one left," his face scrunched with pain, trying desperately to ward off more tears.

"Do you want me to help?" she questioned.

Marsden shook his head. "But if you could take over my TA duties for a couple days, that would be helpful. I don't really think there's much to do, but Luke might want somebody around since there's a test in his class this week."

"Sure," she agreed.

"I feel so shocked. I can't believe it. My sister is only sixteen. Was. God. How can things like this happen? Merciful God my ass," he laughed bitterly and signed himself the cross with dark irony. "I used to think that we brought bad things on ourselves because of our sinful nature. Such a good Catholic, aren't I?"

"What do you believe now?"

"That people who are disobedient to God bring down all this crap on themselves and those around them, and some people just happen to be unfortunate enough to get in the way."

"You think it's random?"

"How could this be in His plan?" he hissed angrily. "I won't accept that."

Kaena stood up and poured him a glass of water and brought it back. "That places a lot of blame on a few people, doesn't it? I thought the Christians believe that all people are sinful."

"Some more than others, though," he took the cup and drank deeply. "Much more."

"It's too convenient, though, isn't it? It makes it seem like the world is just, and it's not. Bad things don't happen to bad people when they should, and they do happen to good people when they shouldn't. Saying that the bad things bad people do brings bad things on innocent people is just shifting it. It still all balances to justice in your book, right?"

"I have to believe the world is just, and God is just, otherwise how can I live?"

"I would think mercy would be a much more useful virtue than justice. By justice, wouldn't we all be condemned? But mercy allows for forgiveness."

"I'm beyond forgiveness, for myself and for others. You could say I'm out of it," he shook his head. "I should go before Taka gets back."

"He's not coming back tonight. Do you want food? I made a lot. It'll go bad if someone doesn't eat it."

He shook his head and stood. "Thanks, for letting me, you know," he said awkwardly, taking her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. "I'll let you know which classes I need covered."

She nodded and saw him out. Funny, he had to believe in justice to make his world make sense. She had to believe in a lack of justice. If the world were truly just, she and all humans would need to live their lives in fear of retribution. If the Order of the world was mercy; that left room for many mistakes and much forgiveness, and Kaena knew how vital that was.

Marsden had been gone for about a week and a half before he finally returned to class and their extracurricular activities. Tuesday night rolled around and Taka was itching for some sparring. The last week had been rough for everybody. Kaena had been taking over Marsden's TA duties, as well as he new RA duties, and had gotten a number of strange comments from other graduate students regarding her recent job position. Marsden, he had said on the phone, had handled all the funeral arrangements, and was still getting the will sorted out—he was not the only benefactor, and everything his mother had left to his sister had to be divided elsewhere, so it was a big mess. Taka had been dealing with a tough case with one of his students as well. The freshmen boy had been putting up with serious physical abuse and had finally confided in Taka when confronted about it, and was still reluctant in dealing with child services, so Taka had been on call constantly.

Kaberi and Kajri showed up a few minutes early and began doing rather painful looking yoga poses. Taka still had trouble telling the identical twins apart. Outside of their training, they wore different styles of clothes, Kaberi usually wore a more modern style, while her sister's was fashion forward yet more modest and traditional, but during training they wore identical yoga pants and tank tops. Their auras felt almost identical to Taka, and he didn't really spend enough time around to disentangle the mystery. Kaena, oddly, seemed to have no trouble telling them apart.

Andy arrived a minute later, and seemed to know which sister was which, because he kissed one on the mouth. He wondered if they would tell him if he'd mixed them up. Vinny and Luke walked in, discussing the previous night's Cubs game heatedly.

"I thought Kaena was with you," Taka said to Luke, peering over his shoulder to see if she was just behind. He hadn't seen her much these last few weeks. Luke had apparently been riding her pretty hard between her own new RA assignment and Marsden's responsibilities.

"She and Marsden were just finishing up some grading at my office when I left. They'll be along soon."

"How is he?" Taka asked, crouching down to begin stretching. They were going to be working with physical and magical combined attacks and he wanted to be limber. The twins made a habit of giving him a run for his money. Damn youthful energy.

Luke followed his example—he was almost the same age as Taka—and touched his toes a few times. "About as good as can be expected. I gather he and his sister were quite close despite the age difference, and now he's the only one left of his family. His father died quite some time ago. He's been back in town for a few days, but has been handling the matter of the estate."

"Speak of the devil," Taka said. Kaena walked in, looking frigid and enraged, and he lifted his eyebrows. "What's up?"

"Nothing," she said coolly.

He approached her and gave her a kiss. "Marsden bothering you? I can beat him up for you."

"I'm capable of beating him myself, but no. He just informed me of a nasty rumor that's been making its way around the department," she glanced at Luke with a frown. "I'll tell you later."

Taka nodded and clapped Marsden on the shoulder. "I was sorry to hear about your loss. I, um, have some experience dealing with family grief, if you need to talk or anything."

He gave a pained kind of smile. "Thanks, I'm all right. Ready to work, anyway."

"Good. Kaberi has been beating me up in your absence," the man said lightly. "Maybe you can be a decoy tonight."

"Are you talking about me?" Kaberi called, pinning Andy to the floor in one clean move and holding him there.

"Andy's turning blue," he pointed out. Kaberi started and released him, smiling sheepishly.

"You're next," she called, and helped her boyfriend to his feet. He sheepishly rubbed his neck and set about a slow kata that Taka had taught him.

"Well, we're all here, so I guess we should start. Vinny couldn't make it tonight," Taka gathered everybody together. This room was much better suited to the type of work they did. The twins had a relative with a yoga studio and gym, and they had talked the woman into letting them use it after hours provided they didn't destroy anything. There had been a few minor . . . mishaps, but nothing a Sunday with a bucket of paint or soapy water hadn't been able to solve. The blood stains had been the worst, but that had been handled before the twins' cousin could throw them out with promises of bodily harm.

"What are we doing today?" Kajri questioned thoughtfully. "Does it involve me beating you up, dear teacher?"

Taka would ordinarily laugh off the threats of tiny women, but Kajri and Kaberi were both an infinite source of both chatter and power, despite their demure appearance. And they seemed to enjoy torturing him. He chuckled nervously and edged toward Kaena.

"We're going to work with partners and practice some spars utilizing our chi. So grab a partner."

The twins were an obvious match, and Andy and Marsden gravitated together. Marsden wasn't without power, but he didn't have the control he needed yet. Andy's power was understated and had not yet fully emerged as far as Taka could see. He was young yet. Luke and Kaena paired up, leaving Taka to wander around and direct.

"Let's start with the punches and blocks I showed you last week," he instructed. "Andy, you start with the punches since Marsden wasn't here. You can use whatever blocks come to mind. Go. Slowly!" he shouted as Kajri drew back her fist to level a furious punch at her sister's head. She grinned sheepishly in reply. Luke and Kaena were speaking quietly as they practiced the punches. He almost walked over to eavesdrop, but figured it had to do with her work, so he kept his distance.

He watched them go back and forth slowly, and then speed up. They were looking pretty good. Kaena, of course, hadn't learned anything new from him, but had gained definite control of her power with the help of the twins. The twins had learned some moves unfamiliar to them, and Marsden, Vinny, and Andy had learned much, though Vinny hadn't been able to make it. "Okay, now I want you to practice doing the same punches powered by your chi, and block with your chi as well. I don't want you to erect a simple shield, though, I want you to let the chi flow through your limbs. Go."

It took them longer to get started this time. Andy struggled to get his chi to flow, though Taka could see he was making progress. Marsden's was largely uncontrolled, and his block ended up being a wide shield anyway. The twins were expertly sparring, and reverted to their own unique blend of punches, kicks, flips, and twirls, each blocking and clashing in turn. Something of water and air swirled around them as they sparred, and Marsden and Andy stopped and watched them in awe.

"I'll never be able to do that," Andy sighed, his tall figure drooping in defeat.

"Yes, you will. Well, maybe not just like that," he laughed, thinking that he couldn't even fight exactly like that. "But you have your own power hidden in there, and these exercises will help you draw it out. Marsden, remember what it was like at first, when you couldn't even sense chi?"

He nodded.

"But it came in time, right?"

"It's kind of like looking out of the corner of your eye at first. You can sense things when you look the right way, but if you try looking directly it disappears. Maybe you need to think about it less?" he suggested.

Taka took Marsden's place across from the younger man. "For right now, just concentrate on blocking my blows. Watch my hands," he slowly punched at the man and was blocked. He wasn't physically weak, at least. "Now close your eyes. You won't be able to see my hands, just try to anticipate where I'll hit."

"But how can I if I can't see?" he frowned.

"Trust me, necessity is the mother of invention, as they say. Your chi will know what to do." Again, Taka raised his hands, and this time the young man closed his eyes. Taka had to withdraw a few times to avoid socking him in the mouth, but finally Andy raised his arm and blocked correctly. He opened his eyes, startled to feel Taka's forearm against his. Taka smiled. "Good! Again!"

They continued the drill for a while until Taka was confident he could do it with his eyes open, and he did. He reassigned Marsden to work with him and headed toward Luke and Kaena. He paused to comment dryly to the twins about not destroying their cousin's studio, and saw Kaena go flying across the room out of the corner of his eye. He whirled toward her and saw Luke standing there looking blank eyed with his open palm extended in front of him. Kaena lay like a rag doll against the wall, arms and legs splayed.

"What happened?" he ran over to her, and saw something odd. Kaena's aura, normally various shades of purple, was bright green. Luke's blank eyed gaze was fixed on her. "Luke!"

The man started and looked around in confusion. He blinked a few times, and then gasped when he saw Kaena slumped to the ground. He dashed over just in time for the woman to come out of her trance. She shook her head and rubbed her eyes, looking up at the men who worriedly stared down at her.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Are you hurt?" Taka asked urgently, resisting the urge to pull her clothes off and check for any possible damage to her body.

"No, I don't think so," she pushed herself up slowly, and her blue eyes met Luke's green with a look of surprised wonder. "It was like his chi was inside me."

"Er," he looked at Taka as if he thought he would be affronted by this violation of his girlfriend, but Taka just looked on at Kaena in confusion.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well, we were standing there doing the exercise and my thoughts were kind of drifting and I started to kind of open up the way I do when I call the Other in. And then at the same time he touched me, I failed to block properly and I could see memories and things that I shouldn't have," she said a little sheepishly. "And I found myself flying across the room."

Luke looked thoughtful. "I was thinking that I wished I had the strength to really rebuff an enemy the way that you and the twins do. My power doesn't really work that way, you know. And the next thing I knew we were kind of connected. I just thought about sending somebody flying and there she went."

Kaberi and Kajri had joined them. "Kaena is an open vessel most of the time. Usually, she guards herself well, but sometimes she lets her defenses down. When I first met her, her defenses were down like that, and I think I could have easily exerted my will over hers. Because she trusts us, and her thoughts wandered, and her chi was distracted in a more superficial task, you inadvertently must have flowed into her."

"That is . . . an unfortunate weakness," Taka murmured. "Is there a way to avoid it?"

"Aside from being on guard all the time? No," Kajri responded. "But she is very guarded normally, physically and emotionally."

"How on earth do you know this?" Luke looked at the sisters in awe.

Kajri spoke. "Our elemental power is very simple, very basic. She resonates with us because her power is also very basic—her power is another's power. If another power entered her, it could manipulate her, which is why Luke's will overtook her physical presence and she flew. Of course, being so easily filled could result in just the opposite: Kaena can likely draw the power of another into her."

Kaberi continued. "Presumably, if her awareness is great enough and her will more iron, she could possibly destroy the spirit of another in this way."

"Do I have the power to do that?" she gasped, horrified.

"Likely not," Kajri answered. "Not yet."

"Could a person with great persuasive power take her over more easily?" Marsden approached from behind. "Theoretically."

"Likely so. Her power is unique and very great, but still undeveloped, still maturing. By virtue of the fact that Luke accidentally did so, I imagine one intentionally seeking to overthrow her could do so easily."

"That is very worrisome," Taka repeated, not liking this one bit. He helped Kaena to her feet and they went back to their practice, pairing the twins with Kaena to do their exercises, and working with Luke, Andy, and Marsden for a while yet. He was pretty distracted throughout the rest of the lesson, though he was brought back to himself when Andy had a breakthrough and was suddenly able to silence the entire room using his chi as a sort of mask. More impressive was that he was able to stop.

Not too long after, Andy and the twins claimed they had to get up for work in the morning, so he dismissed them all. Luke thoughtfully took his leave, leaving Kaena and Marsden to clean up.

"I have to use the restroom," Kaena told him, disappearing through the double doors that led to the changing rooms.

"Interesting power Kaena has," Marsden said casually, picking up the floor mats they'd laid out to break their numerous falls. The two men folded them up and stacked them in the corner.

"Odd, and troublesome," Taka confided. "I worry that she could be at risk, if she weren't around people she could trust."

"Well, you don't have to worry about her while we're around," he assured, and then paused thoughtfully. "Has she seemed strange at all to you lately?"

"No more than usual," he grinned.

"Well, we were working together earlier, and I asked how her father was. She seemed rather quiet on the topic. Is he doing well?"

"As far as I know. I talked to her mom on the phone a couple days ago, and she seemed to think he was as obnoxious and stubborn as ever."

"She said as much," Marsden stated, glancing toward the door. "But she seems, I don't know, apprehensive? Or somehow distant, like something about the topic was really bothering her. She seemed to think her father was withholding some important information about his, you know, past from her."

"Nakago made no secret of the important things," Taka shrugged, then hesitated. He felt a strange buzzing in his ear and flicked casually, though there wasn't a fly or anything. "There is a lot about him she doesn't know. Why do you think she wants to?"

"Oh, I don't know, for the sake of knowledge. You know how she is. And the fact that being ignorant means she's unprepared for attacks. Knowing about him, knowing that his enemies were out for you, doesn't it seem like she should know, to be able to protect herself? Forewarned is forearmed, they say."

Taka found himself nodding to Marsden, although he wasn't sure why. Part of him reasoned that it didn't matter WHAT Nakago had done, just that Kaena knew there had been things for which others might want to get revenge, which she did. But what he said made sense in a strange way, and he felt suddenly very compelled to discuss it with her. Kaena returned a moment later, and they finished putting the mats away in silence.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Marsden said to Kaena as he passed, giving her arm a friendly pat as he passed. Taka knew what he needed to do, and set his face. He would tell her tonight. She had wanted to talk anyway. Bearing this in mind, they took a cab together rode home silently, each left to their own thoughts.

Kaena set her mouth in a frown. What she had heard from Marsden earlier had outraged her, but the fact that Luke had known was worse. She scowled as she and Taka came inside, and went to the kitchen for a snack, slamming things around loudly as a way to release her pent up energy. It didn't so much bother her that Luke had sort of leaked into her like that—they were friends, or so she had thought—but the fact that he had hidden something from her, something that directly pertained to her, was infuriating.

"Kaena," Taka said from the couch, and she turned to face him, brows lowered. He patted the couch cushion next to him. "We need to talk."

"Yes, we do," she took a seat next to him.

"You first," he invited.

"No," she shook her head, blonde strands slapping her cheeks. "I'd rather listen to start."

"Well, I was thinking. Even though there haven't been any more attacks recently, I still feel like there are things about your father that you should know. Forewarned is forearmed, and if someone should raise a charge against him, or you, you should know what's true and what isn't."

"All right," she said slowly. Her heart thumped loudly in her chest, with excitement and apprehension in equal parts. She leaned forward eagerly, engaged and ready to listen to whatever Taka would tell her. She had waited her whole life to hear these tales. Now, at least, it seemed she would, though the timing seemed strange. Why now? She hadn't thought about her father's mysterious past in weeks, let alone mentioned it to Taka.

"I first met him in Kutou . . ." he began, and explained about how he had tricked Yui-san into believing she had been raped on the streets of Kutou, and how he had imprisoned her mother and campaigned against her. He told her all of what he knew of his relationship with Soi, who he had apparently used for her chi while still half-seducing his miko as far as he was able. Kaena's breath hitched when Taka told her how he had used the evil poison to control Taka, then Tamahome's, mind and to make him betray her mother, and how he had sent the seishi Amiboshi to masquerade as a servant of Suzaku in order to disable them at a critical moment. These things were terrible, but that was a long time ago. She pushed them aside.

"It gets worse," he said heavily. "Miaka thought she would turn herself over to Nakago so he would stop doing terrible things. They were alone together in a tent in Hokkan, and he tried to rape her. He didn't succeed, thank Suzaku, but he tried his damnedest, and even though he couldn't because her power manifested, he let her believe he had. She spent days feeling vile because of him."

She explained about the war, how he had one by one killed or had her mother's seishi killed, how he had nearly allowed Yui to be devoured by the beast god and had appeared in Miaka's world as a god to destroy her and it, and how at last Tamahome had been able to kill him. She chewed her lip, unable to believe that this evil crusader could be the same man as the one who had tucked her into bed at night, read her stories, taught her how to play games and use her power. But he was that powerful, wasn't he? And, she found herself wondering, why had her mother married the man that did so much terrible things to her? He had changed, they had all said, but what if . . . what if he hadn't changed so quickly. What if he had cajoled her mother, or forced her in some other way? She recalled his own words: he had ordered her to marry him and she agreed. Her heart thudded slowly underneath her ribs.

"Why?" she asked finally, quietly. "Why did he do all those things?"

Taka opened his mouth to say something more, but shook his head. "That's his business, and I shouldn't disclose that. It involves him and only him, not your mother or anybody else."

Kaena nodded numbly. "Thank you for telling me," she said softly. She felt betrayed, and she wasn't sure if she felt betrayed by Taka for disclosing these things or by her parents for failing to do so.

"What did you want to talk about?" he asked.

"Nothing," she said. "It's not really important. I think I'd like to go lay down for a while."

"Do you mind if I join you? I don't really want to catch a cab back tonight. I have to get up early to finish up some work."

She shrugged noncommittally and wandered off toward the bedroom, her thoughts racing. Her mother had also spared her from these horrible details, but she obviously knew. Had she shielded Kaena in order to protect her father from Kaena's scorn or mistrust, or to protect Kaena from the horrible details? She still didn't know if they were right to hide it. She didn't feel better for knowing! But she had resented being kept in the dark for so long, too. It was a double edged sword, for sure. She changed into a baggy night shirt, one of her father's old shirts, and immediately re-thought it. She pulled out a pair of baggy shorts and a tank top and climbed into bed. Taka finished brushing his teeth and climbed over her to get to his side of her massive bed. He paused over her, kissing her cheek and then her neck. She turned her head, not wanting anybody to touch her right now.

"Hey," he said. "Are you all right?"

She nodded mutely.

"He's not a bad guy anymore," Taka's voice was sure as ever, but she sensed some hesitation in her. Did he even believe it himself? What had really happened that day her father had gone to see Taka? She found herself more full of doubts than ever.

"I know," she forced her lips to twitch into a smile briefly, but it was like dragging a bum foot through clay.

He kissed her more enthusiastically, and she lay silently, not encouraging him, not wanting to be with him tonight, but he was over her and was caressing her and she didn't have the heart to protest. Half-heartedly, she touched his shoulders. That was all the encouragement he needed. As he pulled a condom out of the drawer and took her, all she could think of was the horrible way her mother must have felt when her father pinned her against the cold floor in Hokkan.

She did not sleep much, and when she did, her sleep was riddled with nightmares in which she was screaming, but no one could hear.


	10. Chapter 10: Ambush

Chapter Ten – Ambush

Kaena moved blandly through the next week, blocking out all the things bothering her and going on auto-pilot. She went to class and answered the questions she was asked, and turned in her work, and faithfully catalogued Luke's documents. She couldn't have been happier when Friday finally arrived. She felt like a zombie, unable to sleep well or even eat as well as usual. She hadn't said more than two words to Luke, and didn't feel bad at all for it. He had withheld information from her. Of course, she realized how irrational she was acting, but it didn't stop the satisfying thrill she felt when he was unable to get a response from her yet again.

She sat in the little annex to his office, working silently, when a student knocked on his office door. He had gone out for an errand to another building on campus, so she answered the door.

"Oh," it was Diane. A cool smile settled on her lips. "I was looking for Dr. Jamison."

"Obviously," she drawled.

"Is he here?" she pressed, pushing slightly on the door.

"He's hidden in the file cabinet. What do you think? He's across campus and will be back later."

"I guess I should have known you'd be here. I was just surprised I didn't see you frantically throwing your clothes on. No wonder you got an A in Modern Religion, huh? Must be nice."

"I got an A because I actually did the reading and didn't rely with the same platitudes constantly in order to feign knowledge in discussion, like some. Dr. Jamison isn't here, so you'll have to come back later. I'm busy."

"I'm sure you are," Diane said snidely. "Planning your next tryst? Everybody knows about it. I saw you leaving Planned Parenthood, too."

Kaena felt her power bubble up from within and had to beat it back. She couldn't break the bitch's neck just because she felt like it. It took every ounce of restraint in her body. She pictured slamming her ugly face into a wall and smiled coolly. "I don't have to justify this with a response."

"Because you have no defense. I'm right. Why were you at the clinic?"

"It's none of your business what I was doing there," her voice was low, and frigid. She wondered if the stupid girl had any idea how close she was to having her skull crushed? "What do you care anyway?"

"It's against the rules to be romantically involved with faculty. It's a conflict of interest, especially one you're working for, and ESPECIALLY one whose class you are taking."

"Were taking," she snapped. "And I don't care what you think. I am not, nor have I been, nor WILL I ever be, involved with Luke Jamison. And I was getting birth control pills at the clinic. My boyfriend and I thought it was time I start the pill. My boyfriend who is not Dr. Jamison. So you can stick your head up your ass."

"Whatever," Diane laughed haughtily. "I know you slept your way to the top of the class."

"Think whatever you want."

"It won't be such a laughing matter when the chair and the other faculty finish their meeting today. I heard Morris and Pulosky talking, and they're going to fire him, and are talking about suspending you. So I guess you'll be heading back to Japan. Too bad for your 'boyfriend.'"

Diane laughed and practically skipped down the hallway. She didn't know what had gotten into the woman. They weren't friends—Kaena wasn't really friends with anybody in the department but Luke and Marsden—but they hadn't been on bad terms before. And what did she care about the whole thing, anyway, untrue as it was? It had no bearing on her.

"Diane," she called down the hallway. "Who told you this?"

Diane smirked smugly and ignored her, turning the corner at last with a sarcastic little wave behind her. Kaena stared after her for a long while, infuriated and shaking with raw emotion. She wanted to punch a wall or blow up a park bench or something, but she satisfied herself with thrashing around Luke's office and ripping a stress ball to shreds. She was still puffing with rage when the man returned a little while later.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she demanded.

"Tell you what?" he blinked.

"About the hideous rumors circulating about us. About the faculty meeting? They're thinking of suspending me!"

"They're not going to suspend you," he shook his head. "If anything, they'll only fire me assuming I seduced you and used my position of power to do so. And if I have to let them think that, I will."

"You should have told me!" she snarled, and felt her facade of rage breaking down. This was too much. Hearing about all the awful things her father had done, learning that he really wasn't who she thought he was, was bad enough, but these vicious rumors were enough to tip the balance. Kaena hated that those idiots thought those things about her, but she would have been willing enough to let that go if they weren't considering suspending her! And firing Luke! "You shouldn't have to take the blame for something you didn't do," her voice broke. "Who is spreading these lies, and why?"

"I don't know who," he said, and she looked at him skeptically. She could feel her eyes swimming with tears and stubbornly held them back. "But all I'll have to do is explain that we know each other from our martial arts lessons, I'm friends with your boyfriend, et cetera. It will make perfect sense when explained. We have the truth on our side, and that's better than any other ammunition."

"Will you have to appear at this hearing?" she asked, angrily brushing away the tears that leaked from her eyes.

"It starts in half an hour," he sat down on the edge of his desk and handed her a kleenex. "You can go if you want, but it might just make things worse. I didn't tell you because I was trying to protect you. I don't think they would have taken any action against you."

She felt like a glass house ready to shatter, but she knew she had to appear. It would look just as bad for her to be conspicuously missing. She should at least be able to defend herself against such idiocy. And Luke truly was her friend, even if he did keep stupid secrets from her. She didn't want to see him kicked out of the department. "Do you think . . . I should call Taka and ask him to come? For a third party?"

"I don't think that's necessary," he said. "If they don't believe you and me, they won't believe the three of us. For all they know, he's a random guy off the street we paid to speak."

"What should we say?"

"The truth?" he suggested. "There's nothing to explain. Your boyfriend is a mutual friend, and we get together to do martial arts and talk from time to time. I asked you to be my RA because there wasn't anybody else I wanted sitting around my office. You don't talk much, which, trust me, is an excellent quality for a research assistant to have. You have an excellent record academically and you got good evals last semester. You're not exactly a shady character. And look, you're dressed very conservatively."

Kaena looked down at her Bermuda shorts and three-quarter sleeve peasant top and shrugged. True enough, that. She was even wearing very sensible ballet flats with little flowers on the toes. She didn't exactly look like a seductress. She pulled an elastic hair tie out of her pocket and did her blonde hair up in a loose bun, which, she thought, made her look more serious and less like she escaped from the set of some beach movie.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," his earnest voice calmed her and she bowed her head.

"I'm sorry I acted like a cow. It's been a bad week all around, and I didn't need Diane coming in and suggesting I was off having abortions or planning to lie naked across your desk."

"Hn," he frowned, green eyes crinkling. "Diane?"

"She seems to be the rumor monger, or she has an informant," Kaena shrugged and picked up the big pieces of the stress ball she'd mangled. She tossed the remnants in the waste basket and smiled sheepishly. "I'll buy you another."

"Please, I go through three of those a week. I have a whole desk drawer full," he pulled a shiny, purple stress ball out and tossed it to her. She laughed and squeezed the thing. It wasn't as fun as mauling it had been, but it was all right.

"I guess I should finish up the stack I was working on. Let me know when the meeting is?"

"I'll go a little early. We shouldn't appear together. It's in room 5102."

Kaena nodded and returned to the little annex room. Yes, the information about her father and this were bad, but the icing on that layer-cake was the weird, anxious feeling she had been getting lately. She perceived something was coming to a head, but only Suzaku and his compatriots knew what that might be. Sighing, she returned to her task, and mentally prepared to defend her honor, and Luke's.

The half hour was over quickly, and Luke had departed to the meeting a few minutes before. Kaena put on her best mask, a cool, collected mask that seemed to be a family trait, she thought with a frown, and climbed the stairs to the fifth floor. She turned the corner and knocked softly on the closed classroom door.

Somebody opened it, and looked surprised. "Kaena," Dr. Morris said. "I didn't realize . . . I suppose Luke told you."

"I have a right to defend myself against these ridiculous rumors," she said coolly, and pushed the door open. The chair, an aging man who wore a Star of David pendant beneath his ill-fitting, plaid button down, stepped out of the way and allowed her inside. Something about the man's aura became immediately apparent to her. It had a strange sort of twist to it. Puzzled, she took a seat in the plastic desk nearest to the front of the classroom, about two seats over from Luke, and leaned back with her arms crossed. She glanced behind her to see who was present. Her eyes fell on her advisor, Dr. Marion, a middle aged woman whose professional business attire was impeccable, and Kaena made a point to frown at the woman. Her advisor, at least, should have appraised her of the happenings here, but hadn't. If she didn't know it would look terrible, she would ask permission to switch to Luke. She saw Dr. Pulosky and Dr. Harrison sitting side by side looking solemn, and a couple other professors she didn't know by name. Almost everyone was accounted for. She found herself inordinately angry at this turn of events. These people shouldn't have tried to mask what they were doing from her. They should have confronted her about it. That was what drove her crazy about academics: everybody always gossiped and nobody came to anybody with a problem directly.

Dr. Morris cleared his throat and stood up in front of the classroom. "Ladies and gentlemen, as you know, we've gathered here to discuss disciplinary action regarding the, um, relationship between Dr. Jamison and Kaena Gi."

Kaena raised her hand suddenly, scowling as hard as she could. "Don't you mean you came here to discuss the allegations against us? Or have you already decided the truth without actually asking the people supposedly involved?"

"We have it from a very reliable-"

"Academics is all about truth, isn't it? Would you rather write a thesis based on somebody else's description of a person's life or beliefs, or would you rather talk to the source if possible?" she interrupted, annoyed enough to spit. "It was my impression that, given the opportunity, you'd much rather talk to Buddha or Jesus than to a follower. Well, my name is Buddha."

"I'm Jesus, nice to meet you," Luke said dryly.

"Right," Dr. Morris said. "Well then . . . what say you?"

"I say it's ridiculous to discuss discipline if all you have is some rumor," Luke pointed out. "Who is your informant anyway?"

"We have statements from anonymous sources. Well, one source . . . he has testified that he saw you leaving Kaena's apartment building several nights in a row, that you were seen together in various restaurants around town, and even near campus, not to mention the fact that you conveniently hired Ms. Gi for your RA. Now, Ms. Gi, we understand professors hold a certain amount of power, and that will be considered in this decision."

Kaena stood up suddenly, and approached Dr. Morris, who cowered slightly. She schooled her features, since she was sure the scowl on her face was worthy of her father at his most murderous (which, she supposed, was pretty murderous, all things considered). "Did it ever occur to you that we might simply be friends?"

"Still . . . wildly inappropriate . . . relationship."

"Just say what you mean," she snapped. "You think we're having sex. Why? Because somebody else said so. Never mind the fact that Dr. Jamison and my boyfriend are friends, and never mind the fact that we happen to do martial arts together, which is why he was at my condo to begin with, since we were using the gym there. Never mind the fact that as his student and research assistant that it only makes sense for us to meet to discuss class work or research. How many times have Dr. Marian and I had lunch this year? I would say a lot more than Dr. Jamison and I."

"And yet you spend more time together than we feel is proper."

"Why is it improper to spend time doing martial arts and eating lunch with a student as long as our professional relationship isn't affected?" Luke questioned.

"The allegations implied . . . more," he stuttered, seeming to lose his wind. "There were whispers that you had visited a local abortion clinic . . ."

"And that's the business of the department, how?" Kaena asked coldly.

"I think it's wildly inappropriate for you to imply that Ms. Gi's moral or ethical standards is in any way applicable to this discussion," it was Luke's turn to be cold.

Dr. Morris looked flustered. "He said . . ."

"Who is this 'he'?" she scowled. "Don't I have a right to confront my accuser?"

"Only in the criminal justice system," Luke quipped. "And it's quite clear that there is nothing just about this hearing."

Dr. Morris frowned, and still looked sure of himself despite the doubt cast on his so-called evidence, but other professors were getting restless. Kaena's advisor frowned. "I think that this has demonstrated how little evidence you actually have for this accusation," she said reasonably. "And I think suspending a student and firing a faculty member over allegations with no evidence is unethical in and of itself."

"But of course they would deny it."

"You asked the source," Luke said. "What reason do we have to make up a mutual friend and martial arts lessons? Why not chess? Why not anything? If you can't take our words as they stand, why did you hire me to begin with? Why believe anything Kaena wrote in her entrance essay was true?"

"Let's vote," Marian said. "All those in favor of dismissing the accusations and getting back to work, say aye."

There was a sudden cry of assent, and the professors began to chatter and get up. Morris stood impotently, trying to regain control of the room, but it was too late. The majority had spoken. Luke gave Kaena a relieved smile. She was sure he had been more anxious than he let on. They walked back to his office together, and Kaena gathered up her things to go. She was relieved that it was over, but had a nagging feeling about the whole ordeal. It was one thing for rumors to be spread around the department: that was pretty much par for the course, she had learned all the way back in undergrad in Japan. But it was another for a man like Morris, who was usually pretty sensible, all things considered, to hold a hearing to discuss disciplinary action for something that he didn't even have proof had occurred to begin with. And who was the mysterious informant? Why would they level such ridiculous accusations to begin with? Kaena could think of several people she'd hotly debated, but none that she would consider her enemy. She thought of Joseph, who she had pretty chronically disagreed with last semester, but still couldn't picture him spreading such a ridiculous lie. She lingered in the doorway, puzzling.

"Aren't you going to the planetarium with Taka tonight?" Luke asked.

Kaena nodded and shifted her messenger bag. "We're eating at Giordano's."

"He loves his pizza," he laughed.

"We still have leftovers in the fridge from last time," she said. "I'll see you at practice tomorrow?"

He nodded. "See you later."

Kaena took the stairs at a clip, feeling lighter than she had all week. There was still the unfortunate confrontation with her father that she had been putting off, but he wouldn't call until Sunday, so there was really no reason to worry about it until then. She would ask him the truth of it first. And then ask for the explanation. She headed back toward her condo to change, excited to finally have a date with Taka after this horrible week.

Taka groaned at the massive pile of papers. He was teaching remedial U.S. History and his students were, um, not taking to the material like ducks to water. He graded yet another paper that claimed that Robert E. Lee was a dairy farmer from Indiana and stretched in his chair. He should just throw them all down the stairs, letting them fall according to their weight, and grade them accordingly. It couldn't be any worse than this! At least then some of his students might have a fighting chance of passing the class.

His phone buzzed angrily in his pocket and he pulled it out, praying for some reprieve from the grading. The caller ID said it was Vinny, so he answered.

"Hey, what's up?" he asked.

"Hey, man. How's the teaching?"

"Not so bad. I missed you last week in class. Will you be there tomorrow?"

"Probably," he said. "So I just ran into Kaena. Her phone is dead, but she wanted me to call you and tell you that she had to stay late on campus and wouldn't be able to make it for your date. She said you shouldn't worry about rushing home since she wouldn't be back until later, and she'd call you when she got home."

"Damn," Taka sighed. Not only did he now have no excuse to escape his grading, but he wouldn't even get to see Kaena. "All right, thanks for calling. I guess I'll stay here and, ughhh, grade some more of these wonderful papers."

"Aren't summer school students the best?" Vinny laughed.

"Definitely," Taka replied. "I'll see you tomorrow."

The teacher hung up the phone and groaned in despair. Without Kaena, he was going to have to actually entertain himself, and that was an annoying prospect. She had been in a kind of funk all day, and he was hoping that he would be able to spend some time with her to break her out of it, and break himself out of the sort of contagious ennui that he had contracted as a result. Kaena hadn't mentioned it, but Luke had alluded to the fact that something was going on at school, and she was feeling quite tender about it. Taka hadn't said as much to her professor, but that wasn't the only thing on her mind. He still couldn't quite figure out what had inspired him to divulge so much information about her father, and then not tell the most important part, which would have at least explained some of it, but there would be no getting the cat back in that proverbial bag. One could not un-know once something had been told to them, and so he would just have to try to explain.

He felt bad for his young girlfriend. He didn't know if she was even aware of the bad dreams she'd been having. They were more like night terrors, the way she woke up panting and gasping, and then fell almost immediately back to sleep. He wondered what horrors plagued that stoic woman's dreams. He hoped he had nothing to do with it.

He felt so strange after that evening of training, like he had been in a fog. He had been confused and disoriented when he woke up, though he remembered everything he had said and done. Taka sighed, remembering how they had made love, or rather how he had had sex with her. In retrospect, he realized how unenthusiastic she had been. He hadn't initiated sex since, and she hadn't invited him. He hoped dearly he hadn't scared her. Their sex life was . . . usual. She wasn't shy or bold, just happy to be with him, it seemed, so her lack of enthusiasm was uncharacteristic, and he wondered what had caused him to proceed despite it. It was like his brain had been shut off for those few hours, and the memories were still somewhat foggy.

He had resolved to speak with her about it tonight, to make sure she was still willing, still hopeful about their budding relationship. The fact that she canceled their date didn't bode well for him, and he found himself fretting. Her unhappiness would be his responsibility as far as her parents were concerned, and probably as far as he himself was concerned. She had been innocent, ignorant of men, until he had come along to educate her in love and sex and everything in between, and he feared that drifting apart romantically would mean a rift in their little band of seishi, which could be disastrous. He looked at the clock; almost five. He would go to campus to find her. He wouldn't get anything done with these questions swirling around his head like a tornado, anyway.

Kaena glanced at her watch—almost five—as she made her way toward home. The weather was hot and sticky, but the humidity promised storms later. She would make a note to grab her umbrella for the trip to the planetarium. They would doubtless end up doing much walking from the train station. She rounded the corner, her building nearly in view, when she ran headlong into Vinny.

"Hey, kid," he caught her by the shoulders and gave her a friendly squeeze. "Long time no see."

"Hi, Vinny, what are you doing up here?" she asked curiously.

"I came to find you, actually. I just ran into Taka heading toward the police department, and he said he's got another interview on that case and that he won't be able to make it until later tonight. I tried to call, but you didn't answer, so I thought I'd see if you were home."

"Why didn't he just call me?"

"His phone's dead," he laughed. "You know how he always forgets to charge the damn thing."

Kaena laughed, but felt her heart squeeze. He hadn't been quite there with her this past week. Not that she blamed him; she had been fairly out of it herself, but it was still unusual. He hadn't even tried to initiate anything in bed, and had only stayed over twice. She had been looking forward to some time alone with him, especially since she had the happy news that nothing bad would come out of those stupid rumors.

"Do you mind if I use your bathroom?" Vinny asked.

"Sure, come on up," she said. "We missed you at practice last week."

"Yeah, I've been sick," he said. "But I ran into Marsden the other day and he caught me up. I'm getting pretty good, I think."

"That's good," she led him inside and they took the elevator up together. Kaena kicked off her shoes, but Vinny didn't. She frowned, and reminded herself that it was not a custom to take them off here. Still, she anticipated an evening of sweeping and scrubbing, and, she thought sadly, no Taka to help her.

Vinny disappeared into the bathroom and returned a minute later, drying his hands on his pants.

"Did he say when he thought he'd be done?" she asked hopefully.

"No idea," his accented voice said. She stood by the door to show him out, but he leaned against the wall in the hallway. "You seem down lately. What's going on?"

"Nothing," she frowned. "Just . . . things. It's been a bad week."

"That's too bad," he said. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Hey, can I get a soda?" he asked suddenly. "I'm parched."

She smiled tightly and went to the fridge, pulling out a Coke and handing it to him. "Well, if Taka's not coming, there's some stuff I need to get to . . ." she hinted.

"Poor Taka. I don't think he even knows what he has in you," Vinny followed behind her closely as she walked toward the large window to open the curtains.

"He knows. I think."

"Well, I mean, how's, you know," he laughed a little. "The sex life?"

"I hardly think that's your business!" she cried indignantly. "I think you should go."

"Why?" his voice dropped half an octave, and she whipped around. There was something strange about his aura, a twist, a strange crimp like what she'd seen in Dr. Morris, like something else, somebody else had subsumed the chi. Before she could shield, she felt Vinny's power, with that twist of Other, reach out and grab hold of her open spirit. She was planted firmly in place, unable to shield or fight or lift a finger. And Vinny approached. "You always were such a cold bitch."

She was frozen, unable to respond or run away. Vinny didn't look like himself anymore. His face, usually handsome and friendly, had taken on a hideous cast, dark and animal, and filled with rage. He reached out with his big hand and struck her across the face. She fell to the floor with a thump and weakly struggled against the hold on her chi. How would Vinny even know to do this? He hadn't been there when Luke had accidentally done something similar!

Unless, she thought, looking at the strangeness of his aura, that odd twist was somebody controlling HIM, influencing him, and that it wasn't merely his power holding her, but someone's power holding his, holding hers. She released an involuntary squeak as he kicked her stomach, and he picked her up and threw her down on the couch. She whimpered as her body, limp as a doll, landed awkwardly, with her limbs bent in weird ways.

"There's a lot of that coldness in your family," Vinny/somebody else said. "Coldness enough to stand idly by and watch people be killed and raped, to stand by and watch a father's who did terrible things gain more and more power in a powerful country."

A powerful, pacifist country! she screamed in her head. And she wasn't not responsible for things her father did before she was ever even considered. "Not . . . responsible."

"That's the problem, isn't it? You're not responsible for anything you do. Your rich daddy pays your bills and takes care of things for you, while other people struggle. It's not fair. It's not just!"

"Life's . . . not fair," she managed to rasp. She fought his hold with all she had, but her body was still immobile.

"No, it isn't, but it is my job to make it as fair as I can," Vinny laughed, and he leaned forward and kissed her. "Wouldn't it be just revenge for all the rape and death your father was responsible for, for his little girl to be raped and killed?"

Vinny brushed his lips over her throat, and tugged at the lace of her peasant top, exposing her breasts. She screamed silently and fought viciously, but his hands roamed her breasts, her thighs, and he popped open the button on her pants. Tears trickled down her face as she lay prone, unable to fight, but as suddenly as it started, it stopped.

"No," a voice that wasn't Vinny's said, a voice from near the door. She strained to move her head to see, but couldn't. It was familiar, but deeper, darker. "If she's going to be raped and killed, it should be by me, with my hands, with my body, not yours."

Vinny suddenly jerked, his aura flaring around him, and fell back into her glass coffee table. The man's body crushed the table's top and shattered the glass with a crash. Vinny's aura was his own again, but blood trickled from his temple, and he lay sprawled in a pile of broken glass, unmoving.

"Who?" she whispered. Who are you? she screamed inside her head. The aura, the voice, it was maddeningly familiar, but the feel of that aura in her was twisted and strange, and made her head fuzzy. A cry of rage burbled from her throat, but it was muffled by the bag that was thrown over her head. She thrashed mentally like an animal caged, but was forced to lay silently across his shoulder as she was carried off by this familiar assailant, and packed away into a car.


	11. Chapter 11: Fate's Mercy

AN: Sorry for the loooong lag between chapters. I just moved last week and don't have internet at my new place until Saturday, started class today, and am generally running around like a chicken with its head cut off. There is one more (short) chapter after this one. Let me know what you think!

Chapter Eleven – Fate's Mercy

Taka rapped his fingers rhythmically on the leather briefcase that carried the remainder of his grading and the movie he'd rented for them to cuddle to. It was a good action movie, good for thrills, comedy, and holding during scary parts. Not that she ever needed to be held during scary parts, but she feigned well enough for his benefit. He whistled, hoping she was back from campus by now. It was almost eight-thirty.

The elevator dropped him off on her floor and he knocked on the door smartly. The force of his knuckles on the wood caused the unlatched door to swing open, and he poked his head inside.

"Kaena?" he called quietly, not wanting to wake her if she'd fallen asleep. A cold, hard ball had settled in the pit of his stomach. He looked to the left and saw Vinny lying in a pile of glass that had once been her coffee table.

"Vinny?" Taka rushed over, bewildered. The man seemed to have taken a serious hit to the head. What the heck was he doing here? The knot tightened in his belly, and he shook Vinny and slapped his face lightly. Finally, he transferred a bit of his chi to the man. Taka had to find out what had happened.

The chi transfer did it, and the man opened his eyes like a computer being rebooted. He groggily shook his head and groaned when he tried to push himself up. He bled from various cuts, though none looked particularly deep. Taka offered him a hand and yanked the taller man to his feet, where he wavered dangerously.

"Vinny, what happened? Where's Kaena?"

"Kaena?" he mumbled stupidly, rubbing the back of his head. When he looked, his hand was bloody, and he stared at it, seemingly entranced for a moment. Taka shook him by his shoulders.

"Kaena! Where is my girlfriend? What are you doing here?" he demanded.

"I don't . . . remember," he said slowly, looking at Taka. "I was walking down the street, and had this weird feeling overcome me. I don't even know how to describe it. And then I think I called you?"

"You told me you ran into Kaena and that she had to stay late on campus. You said her phone was dead."

"Told her your phone was dead," he echoed. "I talked to you first, though. Why did I call you?"

"Do you feel like somebody stuck your brain in molasses right now?" he asked suspiciously. This was strange. Vinny was not the type to lose track of time like that, and neither was Taka. He had felt weird and fuzzy a few nights ago as well. He focused on the man's chi, and sure enough, there was a residue of something else. It was gone now, but it had been there.

"Yeah. I think I came here, met Kaena outside and . . . I think I came here. Attacked her? Why would I . . . ?" he looked distraught. "Then someone else came and threw me into the table, and I just went blank. Woke up with you over me. It feels like I have one mother of a hangover. I'm all slow and can't remember anything. Was I drunk, or drugged?"

"I don't think so," Taka's frowned deepened. "Do you remember who else came?"

"It was a man. Weird aura, like the odd feeling I got when I was walking earlier. But he didn't let me look at his face. Sounded familiar, though."

"Someone you know?"

"Yes," he frowned and sat down on the couch behind him, clutching his bleeding head. He shook it like a dog with something on its muzzle. "Damn it, why can't I remember?"

"This is important, Vinny. Do you know what time this was?"

"Five-thirty, six?"

"Shit, that was two hours ago at least! This man took her? You're sure she didn't just knock you out and wander off?" he demanded.

"I'm not sure of much, Taka, but I think he took her. God damn, if only I had seen his face. He was shorter than me, a little taller than Kaena. I think his hair was dark, maybe dark eyes. What was he wearing?" he asked himself. "Dockers, and . . . a U of Chicago polo shirt. He had power. It was damn familiar. Someone we know."

Taka felt panic bubbling up from the dark knot in his chest and wanted to scream at the man to think faster, but knew it would do no good. But, Taka considered this information. Only two people whose chi they knew would wear a U of Chicago polo shirt. "Was he wearing glasses?"

"No," he decided after a moment. "Nothing on his face. His eyes were brown, I think."

The man felt rage replace the bubbling panic. He pulled out his cell phone and called Luke. He answered pleasantly after three rings. Taka could hear music in the background. "Where are you?"

"Taka? Michigan Avenue," he replied. "Having a drink with friends. Why?"

"Somebody took Kaena. I think it was Marsden."

"Where are you?" Luke shot back, a sharp edge to his usually warm voice.

"Kaena's apartment. Vinny is here. Where could he have taken her?"

"Her apartment? Some private haunt?" Luke had obviously stepped outside. "Let me think on it. I'll be there in five minutes."

Taka set his lips in a grim smile as he hung up. If Marsden were indeed responsible for this, the man would pay, and dearly. He set down his phone, and waited for Luke, planning exactly what he would do to Marsden if, when, he found him. It would not be pretty.

Kaena groggily awoke. She remembered being thrown into a car and being hit in the head shortly after she had attempted to break through his mental hold on her. Her struggles hadn't freed her, but they certainly had wasted a lot of her captor's energy. She gathered her wits and peered around. It was dim, but a soft light filtered through tall, stained glass windows. A few candles near—what? An altar?—flickered and danced, shining a soft light on her, but not enough light for her to make out her captor. She lay near the altar, hands bound, but her feet free, for all it mattered since she couldn't readily move any part of her body, let alone her feet. A massive crucifix gleaned behind the altar, and the polished wood benches appeared like silk in the dimness, the soft light reflecting gently off the delicate gold inlays of the Roman style arches. She didn't need the light. She knew now, his aura was too familiar, different, but the same.

"Marsden," she croaked. She strained to make herself audible. Her body felt like ten thousand lead weights had been tied to each limb. She looked down at her own body, mercifully clothed, and audibly sighed relief. "Why?"

Marsden laughed, his dark eyes glittering in the half-light of the candles. His laugh echoed quite loudly off the high ceiling and smooth, marble floors. It was terribly creepy. He prowled toward her and she recoiled automatically, frustrated when her body refused to move. He kicked her onto her back and she was forced to stare up at him, knees still lying flat upon the floor, arms splayed in a bizarre imitation of the crucifix above.

"Do you even have to ask why?" he knelt down and gently caressed her face, turning her head so she had to meet his gaze.

"Clearly, I do," her biting sarcasm was not hampered by her paralysis in the least, and he laughed darkly, slapping her pale cheek.

"Didn't Taka tell you all about the things your father did?" Marsden questioned sincerely, or feigning sincerity, at least. "I did try so hard to compel him."

"I don't see what that has to do with you," she growled and tried to get her hands beneath her. He stepped on her wrist and she gasped in exquisite pain as the delicate bones strained and finally snapped. She released a scream of agony. "So enlighten me!" she panted, tears blurring her eyes from the pain.

Marsden got up and paced, looking uncomfortable with his cruelty suddenly. He turned his back on her pained groaning and stood in front of the altar. She saw his arm move up and down and side to side, making the sign of the cross? He set his hands down on the smooth wood, straightening the green cloth that lay across it indicating, she had learned, the season of the church year. She thought his choice of venue nicely ironic. He was probably going for dramatic, and she had to admit that he had succeeded.

"Let me tell you a story about a boy in Konan," he began softly. "He lived on the border of Konan and Kutou, and put up with the instability and threats of war every day of his life. The tension was almost normal to him, to his family and his community. They lived their lives as they always had, watching for border raiders, but farming, sewing, going about their business. He was pretty content, did no harm to others, due to his parents' good moral teaching. And then one day, war was declared on Konan. The boy's family had never done anything to deserve it, nor had most people in Konan. They were peaceful and tried to serve their gods well, but the war came to them anyway, and it was led by a man named Nakago. Unlike most kings, this ruling warrior rode out with his men, oversaw their destruction of towns, watched them burn to the ground. The army moved along the border, and one day it came to the town where the boy lived. And he was suffered to watch as his family home was lit aflame, as his animals were killed, his neighbors chased down and killed.

"The boy thought he and his parents could get away. His mother had run to the stables to fetch horses, and she had ridden toward him, to catch the boy up in her lap and ride away. But a soldier grabbed her from her mount and dragged her onto his own, and began to ride away laughing. The boy watched his father turn from the oncoming men and follow his mother, and he watched as the man's fellows cut down the man with his blade. And then he went to the soldier with the woman and threw her down on the ground.

"The boy ran to rescue, picking up his fallen father's pitch fork, but he was a small boy and could do nothing against the men. They laughed at him, held him, and he stood there and watched while his mother wept, while she was violated. And he watched as her throat was slit. And then they turned their attention to the boy."

Kaena had grown still and horrified. Please, she thought, don't let one of those soldiers be her father. It would be too much.

"They broke his fingers first, one at a time, and listened to him scream. And then they cut him with their swords until he bled. Finally, they tied a rope around his neck and dragged him after their horses, all the while they laughed. And as the boy's sight grew dim and he faded away into death, he saw a blonde horseman approach and beckon his men forward. The boy knew the man's name already, from his parents' talk of the war. The blonde general, Nakago. And as the boy choked to death, Nakago, your father, stared coldly down at him and cleanly cut his head off. And so, do you see, Kaena, how this has everything to do with you?"

"Why not go straight to the source? I wasn't even a gleam in my father's eye," she croaked, tears sliding down her cheeks.

Marsden slammed his fists down on the altar and paced in front of it angrily. "And can you imagine how it felt when I, a young man, first began to remember these events? I woke up screaming in the night because of my horrible dreams, dreams in which I watched my mother," his breath hitched. "Brutally murdered. And how I watched my father cut down. Imagine my surprise when my father was murdered in a bank robbery! I thought my awful dreams were prophecies sent from God, and I feared for my mother's safety and my own. I struggled for years with the horrible dreams, and then the dreams became not apparitions of the night, but waking visions, memories, solid, not vague like they had once been. I thought I was losing my mind. I thought I was becoming possessed by the devil. I couldn't tell my mother, a devout Catholic. Naturally, talk of reincarnation, of past lives, was crazy."

She listened silently. She felt for his pain. She knew what it was like to wake up in a terror, wondering when the demons would return to finish the job they started when you were six. She knew the horrible dreams turned into visions. But she could do nothing for him, and how could she have?

"Then I started to read of reincarnation, learned from the Buddhists that my memories weren't crazy delusions, but memories of my past life, and began to wonder if he, too, had been reincarnated. But it wasn't until several years later that I saw an image of the man beginning his political ascent in Japan, and knew him as Nakago, the general who slew me in my past life. I saw his daughter, a sullen blonde teenager, and began to follow your lives. I clipped newspapers and saved articles and taped news reports, and watched as he ascended from his position in the Diet to a major party leader. And watched his daughter grow into a beautiful little genius."

He paused and looked at her, standing over her. He knelt down over her and gently unbuttoned her shirt. She weakly lifted her arms to defend herself, but he only opened her shirt and looked upon her exposed body, lightly tracing the curve of her breasts down to her belly button. "I don't know why I'm telling you this. Maybe so you'll know this isn't personal. I'm righting an injustice."

"What injustice?" she demanded. "I didn't do anything to you!"

"Nor did I, to your father, but he killed me all the same. He killed thousands in his past life, yet he is reincarnated to this life? He's made a major politician? With a lovely little daughter and a pretty wife? Such a quaint life. And my father was dead again by murder. Where is the justice in that? And so I intend to take that vengeance into my own hands. Why would God have granted me these visions, memories, unless he intended me to do something about them?"

Kaena opened her mouth to let him know how twisted his stupid logic was when his phone began to ring. He looked down at it and started to laugh again. "It's your little boyfriend. Your precious Suzaku seishi. Hello?" he asked as the church bells began to toll. It was nine.

"Where is Kaena?" he demanded.

"She's," he glanced down at her. "Indisposed, at the moment. But I'm sure you'll find her later."

"I'll kill you-"

"I'M IN A CATHEDRAL!" she screamed as loud as she could.

"A cathedral?" she heard him ask.

"Bitch," Marsden threw the phone to the floor and slapped her in the face. "Not that it matters, there are probably a hundred cathedrals in Chicago, and you'll be dead long before they figure out which one we're in."

She laboriously turned her head to stare back at him. He was white with fury, his hands shaking. He jerked her shirt open and brought his lips roughly to her skin. She screamed in reply, struggling as hard as she could, but his weight on her kept her easily pinned.

"What makes you think life is fair?" she rasped.

"The world has to operate according to some rules, doesn't it? God is just, is He not? The Israelites rebelled in the desert, so God made them wander for forty years. The children taunted Elijah and were struck dead. The wages of sin is death. And yet an innocent child witnessed terrible things and died."

"Bad things happen to good people, all the time."

"But to an innocent child?"

"None are innocent. Not even one," she whispered, voice straining from the weight of his body on her diaphragm. His chest was heaving with rage, with pain, with something. Hers was heaving in fear.

"Certainly more innocent than a murderer like your father! And so the only explanation I can think of is that justice is skewed. The evil in the world, the evil of the Israelites' disobedience or abuse of a child, the consequences aren't always directed. They flow to the innocent from the rightfully deserving, like Adam and Eve. That's why all are damned by God, because the sins of the few weigh upon us all. But we can turn those tables! I can turn those tables! God allowed me to see it, to understand it, so that I could enact His justice in the world. His child's life for mine."

"Will that atone for all the other children? Or for the evil he did to my mother? Is that just to me, who did nothing?" she demanded. "Your reasoning is faulty. And you forget the most important tenet of your own religion, which is mercy. I have suffered injustice too. The point of faith in a higher power isn't to gain justice, but to gain forgiveness."

"Why should I need forgiveness for what was done to me?" he snarled, hitting her harshly.

"You're right. Certainly, you've never done anything that harmed another person in your entire life. You never made fun of another child on the playground, or told a lie, or even manipulated someone to try to bend to your will," she stated as coolly as her weak body would allow. She managed to shrug one shoulder indifferently. "I suppose my suffering will certainly assuage the guilt you feel."

He froze, and stared at her. "What guilt?" he spat the word like a sour taste.

It all made such perfect sense now. The world was just to Marsden, had to be, to fulfill his mad beliefs, therefore he must have deserved the suffering he gained both in his past life and in this life. He must have done something, some sin, in some life, to bring it on himself. The guilt had eaten at him. And so . . . "In order to convince yourself that it wasn't your sin that brought disaster and retribution upon you, you convinced yourself it was another's' sin that you were atoning for, and the only way to repay it, to make things just again, was to punish the rightful owner of the original sin."

"You're wrong! I have no sin in this!" he screamed and began to beat her chest and face until she could barely see through her swollen lids. She felt a tooth knocked lose and the pain was horrible, but it cleared her mind. It made so much sense. An eye for an eye.

She laughed softly, which only served to further infuriate her. He ruthlessly ripped her pants down her hips and leaned forward to her ear. "I don't care what you think. You're going to pay for your father's sin."

"We all pay for our fathers' sins," she returned, unafraid, and continued to laugh. Her stomach hurt from laughing, and she wasn't sure why, but the amusement bubbled up from somewhere deep inside her, somewhere far beyond the reach of his persuasive power. "Tell me," she cackled. "Tell me, it was you all along, that broke into my apartment and left the goat? And that burned Taka's place to the ground? And my father? You poisoned him too."

"If he'd died, this wouldn't be happening. But that man doesn't know when to die! If he did, he would have died when the Hin were first attacked."

That stopped her laughing. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't you know history? Your precious father was Hin, a tribe in Kutou, and his village was raided, and he was collected by the emperor for who knows what reason. He should have died then, with the rest of his village, but he just kept surviving."

"Don't you think maybe there's a reason for that, like maybe he had something to do?"

"He's stubborn, and it just proves that the wrong people pay for others' sins," he jerked her panties down, and she looked up curiously at him. He frowned, disconcerted. "What?"

"Just wondering if you were really planning to rape me. It doesn't seem like you. Coercion maybe, but outright rape just isn't your style," she noticed her voice was coming back into her control. She could wiggle her fingers easily. He was tiring. "I thought you liked me."

"My personal feelings aren't important," he flushed suddenly. "I have a job to do."

"That you don't really want to do. Or you would have just killed me three hours ago, or let Vinny do it while he was under your control."

"It was my justice to give, not his," he frowned. "Shut your mouth! I did falter! I started to like you, I started to love you and your stupid friends, too. But then when my mother and sister died, it reminded me of all the injustices people like me face while people like you walk around somehow immune to it all! People like him! I tried to start that rumor to give you the opportunity to take that failure and go far away, but it didn't work. And so after I saw how Dr. Jamison accidentally went into you like that, I thought it would be a good idea to try it. It was easy, given my gifts of persuasion."

"Taka will hunt you down until you're too tired to run anymore," she pointed out laconically. "You know it's true."

"I don't care what happens to me."

"If you didn't care, you wouldn't be so upset over what already has."

He hit her again, and Kaena smiled through the pain. It cleared her mind, and expended his energy. Bruises would heal, and broken teeth could be replaced, but his energy couldn't be so easily replenished. He was bleeding away his life force in her, and she was an endless well in which he could pour himself. She would never be completely full with his weak, human life force. She could feel the Preserver in her now, biding time. And for the first time in a very long time, the Voice spoke to her, it told her to take comfort and to do exactly what she had been doing: stalling.

Marsden was so agitated he was nearly crying. He began to undo is belt, when there was a sudden crash, and three figures burst inside the cathedral, two taller figures flanking a shorter in the middle. Marsden stood up and stepped away from Kaena.

"You're dead," Taka shouted it like a war cry, running toward Marsden with brilliant, crimson fire surrounding him like a corona. She felt Marsden's hold on her weaken suddenly, and Vinny was possessed again. He dove at Taka's feet and pinned him to the floor.

"What the hell are you doing?" Luke's voice floated toward her. He made for Marsden, and suddenly the marble tiles exploded in front of him. Vinny dragged himself to his feet and started throwing hymnals and Bibles.

"That's sacrilege," Kaena pointed out to Marsden, who was obviously controlling the big Italian. "And he's Catholic, too."

"Shut up!" he shouted at her. Again, his grip on her slackened, and Taka was jerked suddenly to his feet. He joined the fray and lifted his arm to hit Luke, who was psychically rebuffing the projectiles, but paused mid-swing. He blinked and struggled to lower his arm. Kaena sat herself up and began to edge out of the fray, lest she catch a stray bolt. She still couldn't walk, but she could scoot like the wind.

"Give it up!" Taka cried, taking agonizingly slow steps toward her captor, like lead blocks were tied to his shoes. His movements were awkwardly exaggerated, and Kaena found herself laughing a little once again.

"Now isn't a time for laughter!" he called at her angrily.

"It's as good a time as any," she replied hysterically, laughing all the harder because of it. There was something coming up within her, from deep within that well. It wasn't exactly amusement that caused her to cackle, but some strange joy. She knew this joy.

Luke frowned and lifted Vinny off his feet, turning him upside down so the change clinked on the floor as it dropped from his pockets. "Pennies for the poor, I guess," Luke muttered. "Vinny, snap out of it!"

"Why aren't you taking over Luke?" she asked casually.

Marsden looked to where she had been lying, and his eyes began to frantically search until they landed on her, leaning against the rail surrounding the pulpit.

"I don't think he can," Luke flashed her a grin. "Either because he's out of energy, or because of my stunningly impenetrable chi."

Taka was slowly gaining speed, though what he would do when he made it to his goal, Kaena had no idea. Luke casually raised Vinny's entire body to one of the shimmering chandeliers above, and left him to hang there. The fixture began to creak and groan from his weight, and he was thoroughly distracted. Marsden looked wildly at the scene and danced aside just in time to avoid Taka's slow right cross. Kaena felt his grip on her tighten, and heard Vinny's expletive filled exclamation. God would not be pleased with the words coming out of that mouth! That thought thrilled her into laughter again. She thought she might be losing her mind.

"_You're not," _the Voice replied. _"It is funny, isn't it?"_

"Goodness," Kaena sighed, feeling calmed and comforted, and tickled pink. Vinny continued to curse and swear from the falling lantern. Taka collapsed suddenly at Marsden's feet.

"Not so powerful now?" the man spat. "Don't interfere!" he shouted at Luke.

"Idiot. Sorry, God," Luke replied with a crooked grin, picking up the stack of Bibles and hymnals that Vinny had pelted him with, and raising them high above Marsden's head. With a flourish, he closed his hand and the pile of thirty or so heavy books came tumbling down upon him. The persuasive sorcerer collapsed into a heap, and Taka jumped up, apparently freed. Kaena felt a weight lift off her chest, and moved to stand when suddenly the Presence lurched forward in her.

"_May I?"_ the Voice asked her.

Kaena breathed a sigh of relief and the Presence took over her, body and mind. She felt herself float above, away, somewhere that was not in her body, and she watched from that distance. As she opened herself and allowed that holy power to enter her, to use her hands and her mouth in this world, she realized that perhaps her earlier statement about free will had been unfair. Obedience was a choice, not just the choice to take one path, but the every day choice to remain on that path. There was always an emergency exit from her God's path, but each step she took was an exertion of her free will. And it was her choice to be obedient, and to step aside to let the Presence do what It willed. And she felt the darkness within her, the place she had kept to herself, the place that hated and feared, the place that failed to trust, become filled and alive with a purity that made her weep with joy. She was emptied, and refilled, and cleansed, and she watched that powerful deity, God or goddess or Buddha or Allah, or Vishnu or Krishna, or all of them together, as Its will was carried out.

She saw Marsden struggle to his feet from beneath the pile of holy books, and Taka moved to strike him dead. Kaena's body moved like lightning, and her hand was on Taka's wrist. He turned to her in furious frustration, and froze when he looked into her face, into her eyes that were deeper than any ocean, darker than pitch. He dropped his arm and stepped back to where Luke was helping Vinny to his feet.

She stood in front of Marsden, naked as the day she was born, but felt no shame, no embarrassment. She had never been as naked in body as she was before her Creator in mind, in soul. She took his hands, and he stared at her with pain and hate and anguish. His eyes stared into hers, and Kaena saw into his soul, saw the hurt in his soul, and the hate, and all the pain. She saw his father beat him for not memorizing his Bible versus well enough, for not getting that grade. She saw how he had wished his father would die, and how he had blamed himself when he had. How confused and scared he had been by the dreams. And she saw how he had hated her, then loved her, then hated her again. And oddly, Kaena found she could do nothing but forgive him, because that's what was flowing through the vessel of her body.

He fell to his knees, prostrating himself before her, and she picked him up again and dried his tears.

"You have greatly betrayed my teaching," she said quietly, yet her voice thundered through the cathedral, through their bones. Vinny gasped and fell to his knees.

"Are you God?" he whispered.

"I am the one who Creates, Preserves, and Destroys in righteous fire. I am the one who taught you justice, and I am the one who failed to teach you mercy. You missed my most important lesson and tried to hurt my most prized servant, who is the hope of you and your world."

"Why? Why . . . is there not justice?"

"Vengeance is mine, for the sake of justice. And I choose mercy over justice, always. For who could stand against me if I dealt only in payment for debt? The debt is so great," the Voice, doubled strangely over Kaena's soft alto, said sadly. "Your debt is great."

"For my sin. Is that why I was punished?"

"Your debt is great for your unforgiveness. But forgiveness is hard work, when memory is strong. So I will bless you with forgetfulness," the deity whispered, and kissed his forehead. Immediately, the man slumped forward, and the Preserver caught his body easily and gently laid his body before the altar.

Kaena felt herself begin to ascend back into her body, but there was a pause, and she felt her body turn toward Taka, Luke, and Vinny. She smiled gently. "You who serve her, serve me. Your time to protect my blessed vessel draws near. You must remember what I have taught you, or you will fail."

Taka dropped to one knee to hide his head against it, and Luke simply stared in wonder, and Kaena felt a rush like the ocean and wind and mountains all contained together spiraling back down some deep crevice, and she dropped to her knees, sliding to the floor, drained and spent.

Taka rushed toward her and pulled her into his lap. "Kaena," Taka shook her gently. "Are you all right?"

"Mmmjust a little numb," she mumbled into his shirt. Luke was poking Marsden warily with his foot, and Vinny was still staring blindly at the crucifix behind the altar, shocked by what he had seen. She could see and hear well enough, but her body was warm and blissfully relaxed.

Luke jumped back suddenly as Marsden sat up. He looked around at the bizarre scene. "Where am I? Who . . . Who am I?"

"Er," Luke said. "Your name is Marsden."

"That's a stupid name," he frowned. "I don't remember . . . anything."

"He's forgotten everything?" Taka asked.

Kaena nodded. "Ignorant, now, of all he's done."

"What a terrible punishment."

"What punishment?" she questioned, curiously. There was, strangely, nothing in her that hated him. She supposed the Preserver's power lingered yet. "That was a blessing of mercy for one so pained. Now he has a second chance to use that power for something useful. Help him."

Taka, shaky himself, managed to pluck her up. It took three tries, but he got Vinny to gather up her clothes and anything that could identify them. Luke led the very confused Marsden out of the cathedral and into the warm, breezy night.

"What should I do with him?"

"Drop him at a hospital," Taka said bitterly. "They'll take care of it."

Kaena snuggled against Taka's warm chest as he carried her to Vinny's car. She was laid gently in the back seat, her head resting in Taka's lap. Vinny climbed into the front seat, still shocked and pale. Luke poked his head in through the window. "I'm going to take a cab to the hospital with this one," he looked at his TA—former TA, Kaena gathered—with chagrin. Maybe she would be promoted? She laughed softly to herself.

"Why do you keep laughing?" Taka asked gently.

Kaena thought long and hard about it. There was something nearly inexplicably funny about Marsden's particular brand of foolishness, and she found it hard to verbalize it. She looked up at him through swollen eyelids. "He was desperate for justice, like he thought it was the solution to everything bad. I'm reminded of an incident as a child wherein I managed to spill paint all over my father's brand new white leather couch. Even then, as an eight year old child, I had the sense to beg not for justice, but for mercy. Who would want the former when the latter is so sparing? He put his misdirected faith in the wrong virtue, but received forgiveness all the same. I just find it . . . ironic."

"Yeah," Taka said thoughtfully. "I guess it is ironic."

Kaena's bruised eyelids felt like boulders, and finally, Taka's fingers running gently through her hair, with the warm air caressing her bruised skin, she fell into a deep, much needed sleep.


	12. Chapter 12: Beginnings

AN: Again, I apologize for the lateness of this chapter. I have been meaning to edit/add some to this chapter for about the last month, but I started an intensive 7 week class in biblical Greek (cramming 3 semesters of language into 7 weeks, basically), and have not had time to take a pee, let alone write. But I didn't want to keep you all waiting any longer. Thank you for your kind reviews, and I hope you have enjoyed the story so far. This is the conclusion of this part, and while I am planning on writing a follow up novel-length story to complete this one, I daresay I won't get started on that for at least the duration of this class. In any case, I have enjoyed hearing all your thoughts and comments, and hope you enjoy this final chapter of To Twist Fate to Justice! 3 -nel

Chapter Twelve – Beginnings

He opened his eyes, staring at the darkness. He had had the vision again. He hadn't been sleeping, but he was lying on the floor now. He could see the pointed peaks of the Rocky Mountains outside his window. The snow-capped tips looked like triangular frosted cupcakes from this vantage. The evening light was slowly fading, illuminating the mountain faces as it set to the west. She was coming, the one who would call in the debt, who would cleanse things. Except the debt was not for her to call, and the world was not hers to destroy. All the gods worked together, for harmony, for war, for life, and death, but some gods had seasons and times that were better suited, and she was coming before her time.

He had seen this many times, but this time, the dream had been different. He had seen two paths where at first there was only one. The first path was the same, with the silhouette of a woman standing in a doorway backlit by fire and brimstone and destruction of all things. The world burned behind her, and she was quite pleased. The vision had plagued him since he was a small boy. There had been other visions, of course, but this one always returned.

Tonight, however, something had changed. He felt it in his soul, and knew that if he looked at his Tarot cards later, they would inform him of the same. Some missing piece to the puzzle had settled in its final place, and now the old vision was not a prophecy, but a possibility. He saw her clearly, her long, lean body surrounded by brightly shining stars, seven of them, and he was one of them. One held protectively to her, his violet eyes staring straight into him. He saw her blonde hair swaying gently in the breeze that existed only around her. He saw all colors, all seasons, all possibilities in her pale eyes. Behind her were others. First two figures, one large and masculine, the other smaller and feminine, and then there were others; a tall man with a long, chestnut brown braid, and a smaller man, or maybe a woman, with a shock of startling violet hair, a very tall man, and a thinner man, a chubby man holding a diamond fan, and a rice hat laying beside him. There were others around her, all around her, and the first woman, the one who would destroy them if she could, stood with her followers, with her scriptures, and they were to battle.

The vision gave him a hope like nothing else he'd ever felt. He pushed himself up and added the vision to his journal, to remember it. And then he looked out over the western slopes of the Rockies, and knew that it was time to head East. He had been comfortable here, but he knew he couldn't stay. He had no car, no belongings to worry about, just his bag full of clothes, and his cards. He began to carefully fold his meager possessions into the worn rucksack. He could almost see her now, her blue eyes peering over the icy peaks. It wasn't time yet for them to gather. It would be a year, at least. But it was time to move on, lest she find him. She knew of him, you see, the destroyer, and would come for him. So he threw his pack over his shoulder, and began to walk toward the road. He would hitch once he got to Interstate 70, but for now he would just walk, and he would close his eyes when the road was straight, and pray he would see the day when he would meet her, the holy one, the good one, face to face.

Kaena wrapped her arms around Taka's waist and he smiled back at her. She had been asleep for the better part of two days. With a little help from her friends, her bruises and broken wrist were nearly healed. Taka had nursed her and slowly fed her his chi since they'd arrived back at her condo that night.

"You're up," he said happily, turning around. The sun was setting, and the reflection of the sunset's colors shone beautifully over the lake. They stood on the balcony, arms entwined. "How do you feel?"

"Like my boyfriend has been pouring his chi into me for two days," she poked the bags under his eyes.

He smiled crookedly. "Are you, you know, okay otherwise? Mentally?"

Her lovely face, still slightly purpled in places, grew thoughtful. "I was considering the things that happened, and thinking about my father. He did some terrible things."

"I don't know why I told you what I did, but I didn't tell you everything. Your father was part of a tribe . . ."

"The Hin. Marsden said."

"They were attacked, and he saw his mother raped. His power emerged suddenly, and he killed them all, including her. And then he was taken to the emperor. His friend was killed to awaken his power again. And then he was kept for a very long time as the emperor's play thing. He suffered terrible abuse, and what he did was a result of that."

"Not a very good reason for mass murder."

"No. I saw that when I killed him. And it was funny. When I did it, he looked at me with this soft expression, that was almost . . . relieved. He wanted someone to stop him. And he was sorry. I could feel it in him."

"He repented in the last?"

"And every day thereafter. He got a second chance, and he has done great things."

"It is the gods' prerogative to grant them," she said softly. "Second chances, that is."

"I think I've gotten more than my lot," he said. "But there's something I still don't understand. All those years ago when the Presence channeled through me, I had a vision. You were either a warrior for good, or a warrior for evil. There was a decision that led you down one of those paths, something that hardened your heart, and it had to do with me. When I looked into your eyes with the Presence, I saw reflected there that . . . I had done my job. But I don't remember any such moment of decision. Is it still to come, or did it happen and I just densely missed it?"

Kaena looked introspective again for a moment. "It was in the hospital. When I saw my father there, and you comforted me. I didn't think I could take losing my parents, and I wanted to close everyone out. But then you talked to me, and I couldn't close everyone out, because it would have closed you out as well."

"What would have happened if it had happened differently?" he asked curiously. It didn't seem like such a big deal, really.

"I think," she paused, turning to look over the lake. A warm breeze rustled through her greasy blonde mat of hair. "If I had decided to close myself, I wouldn't have been able to channel the Preserver like I did."

"So Marsden might have killed you. I would have killed Marsden. That would have been unfortunate, but . . ."

"I think that the thing the Creator needs me for, truly, is still to come. And is much more important than one man's life, or even the lives of all of us."

They were silent for another moment, and Taka was lost in thought about the implications. The pages of the play were numerous, its plots vast and complex. He had once felt bitter about being an unwilling instrument to some deity, but after what he had witnessed, after what that deity had done to save one man, he wondered if perhaps his sacrifice of obedience wasn't a very low price to pay to be a part of that destiny.

"One question," Kaena looked up at him. "How did you find me? There have to be hundreds of churches in Chicago. Probably hundreds of Catholic cathedrals alone, not to mention Episcopals or . . . Methodists, or mosques."

"The bells," he said. "They played a very distinctive tune. I heard it at the police station several nights in a row, and when I heard them ring on the phone, I knew right where to go."

"What made you call him, just then?"

"I don't know. Fate?" he laughed, and she laughed with him. The truth of the answer both scared him and comforted him. He wrapped his arms around her and cradled her soft, tenderized body. She leaned against him contentedly. The words of the deity rang in his head. "You must remember what I have taught you." She had said it out loud in a generic kind of way, but the words had echoed again and again like the church bells ringing into the night. And then there had been that whisper later, that had told him to beware the lion who comes in lamb's clothes. He would need all he had learned for the battle to come.

Nakago yawned sleepily and stretched out beside his wife's sleeping form. It was five in the morning in Tokyo, and he had no desire to be awake just now. It had been three months since he had been poisoned by that fool Marsden. Kaena had quietly told him that he would not be a problem any longer. Whether that meant Taka had killed him, or she had killed him, or they had simply scared him shitless, Nakago didn't know and didn't ask. Frankly, he didn't want to know. He loved Kaena with all his heart, but she scared him just a little, at times.

He was feeling better these days, but his body wasn't as strong as it used to be. For God's sake, he was in his late 50s now, and recuperating for three months had slowed him down a lot more than he cared to admit. His spine ached from the increase in weight on his tall frame. He took the weight well, but twenty pounds made a big difference on the joints, if nothing else. He nudged Miaka's soft form beside him, running his hands sensually up her side. She groaned and slapped his hand away, and he sighed. He had been hoping . . . well, Miaka had never been a morning person. He pushed himself out of bed and quietly moved down the hall, frowning at the heavy slap his bare feet made on the wood floors. His feet had certainly never flapped before! Nor had his stomach, for that matter, or, um, other things. He was going to have to start running again. It was the German blood in him. Three months without a good cardio workout, and he was old, fat, and feeble.

Nakago entered his study and sat down at the big leather swivel chair, perusing some of the papers on his desk only long enough to realize he was too tired and annoyed to get anything done. He picked up the copy of Oscar Wilde's book, The Picture of Dorian Gray, and ran his fingers over the embossed gold lettering on the front. He didn't appreciate Wilde's meandering writing style, or the fact that Dorian Gray reminded Nakago unnervingly of himself, but the book had drawn him in, and he'd been somewhat obsessed with it since the day Kaena had dropped it off at the hospital. He wondered if she had made the choice intentionally, but didn't have the nerve to ask her. And was it a message of hope, or of condemnation, if message it was? He leafed through the pages and came to the ending again, which he had read probably twenty times over the past weeks. Dorian Gray was obsessed with the painting that had taken all the ugliness of his soul, obsessed, paranoid, that somebody might find it, and might identify it for what it was.

Nakago, too, had feared others seeing the ugliness in his soul, which reflected the hundreds, maybe thousands of people he had hurt, manipulated, tricked, or killed over an entirely different life span. His adolescence had been riddled with terror that somebody would remember what he had done, would judge him for those things that he, this incarnation, had no control over. His twenties had been a desperate attempt to forget those things, through pleasure, through achievement. It wasn't until he was almost thirty that he had found somebody who looked at him, through him, and knew all the dirt, scars, and sins that raked his poor soul, smiled at him, and loved him anyway. He knew Taka had told Kaena, and it hurt him a little, to think of her looking at him the way he had looked at himself, and how he feared others would look at him. If only they understood the pain that had caused it...

Dorian Gray had been so paranoid about the discovery of his sin that he destroyed the magical painting that kept him youthful, and in the end, all that was found was the painting of a handsome young man, and a mangled, decrepit corpse. Did Kaena believe that he had enchanted himself somehow, had done something dark and sinister to gain the life he had? He hoped not. The more he thought about Dorian's obsession, the more he understood it, and the less he identified with it. Nakago didn't want her to hate him, or judge him, but unlike the canvas that bore the scars of Dorian's sins, Nakago's sins were borne out in blood and tears and sacrifice, and mostly love. It had taken him a long time to understand it, but when his wife looked at him so lovingly she wasn't looking past the desiccation of his soul, and ignoring it. She would never be so dishonest; not with him. Miaka looked at him, and poured her love and her forgiveness on him, and those things were reflected back at her ten-fold, and how could her reflection be anything but pure? Her love inspired his love, and in the end, wasn't it only love that could bear away such tremendous sins?

The phone rang. He looked at the caller ID, which didn't register, and picked it up on the fourth persistent ring. There was a breathy sigh on the other end when his cool, dry baritone answered. "Hello?"

"Papa," the voice said, and he smiled a little, then frowned.

"Kaena. It's early, is something wrong?"

"No, nothing. Everything is fantastic," he soft alto assured him, and he warmed at the sound of her voice. It was nothing like Miaka's energetic soprano. It was soft, doleful, and all her own. "I wanted you to be the first person to know."

Nakago felt a lurch in his stomach. He had an idea of a few things that would warrant a phone call in the wee hours, and he didn't like any of them. "Know what?"

Her voice took on an uncharacteristic edge for a minute. "Taka asked me to marry him," she said quickly. "And I said yes."

Nakago moved the receiver away from his mouth and thudded it gently against his forehead three times, fluently cursing in four languages inside his head. His baby could not get married to that man! She deserved better. She deserved a man of strength, and courage, and character; a handsome man, who thought she was everything, who would take care of her if she wanted, or help her fly if she chose. Nakago wanted her to have everything he had had and more. He made a few muffled sounds into the phone so she knew he was still there, but didn't move the receiver back to his ear. She was so young. She was barely . . . twenty, which was almost the same age that Miaka had been when they had been engaged. And Taka was a man of courage, that much he knew, and strength, and his character might of consisted of the symbol on his forehead, but seishi of Suzaku were admirable. His best friends were seishi of Suzaku. Nakago grudgingly admitted that he was handsome, but he was a teacher, a poor teacher! But Kaena was on her way to a Ph.D., so she was certainly not going to be destitute. He was just . . . Taka. Not good enough for Miaka. No, he corrected. Good enough, plenty good enough, just not right for her; a different man then. But maybe right for Kaena.

It took another minute for him to come to grips with the fact that Taka, the slimy, wormy, thrice resurrected ex of his wife was everything he had hoped for his daughter to find, even if he was a little seasoned. Hell, Nakago was ten years older than his own wife. He sighed.

"Papa? Are you still there?" her worried voice dragged him out of his thoughts.

"I'm here. Kaena, I'm—are you sure?"

There was a long pause. Kaena was like him. She never did or said anything without thinking it through first. He wondered what was going through her mind right now. "You said to me that mama pulled you out of yourself, that she helped you become the man you are today."

"Something like that," he murmured.

"Taka . . ." she paused, groping for her words not-quite silently. "Where most people run away and give up on me, Taka reaches in with both hands and helps me step back out of myself. I think I could very well get lost in in the webs of fate, and the power. Taka isn't afraid to keep that from happening. That's what mama does for you. And," she paused thoughtfully, "if I can be the type of person that you are, I think I will be content with that."

Nakago was silent for a long time, chewing over what she had said. She had said so little, but so much. A warmth that had nothing to do with the sun rising slowly over the Tokyo sky scape filled him from his head to his toes, and he smiled. He saw himself reflected in the eyes of those who loved him, and he liked that reflection much better than any painting of his soul, or any mirror.

"In that case," he murmured, happiness welling within him. "I wish you well."

"Taka and I discussed this tonight," she said a little breathlessly—relieved, or just overwhelmed with joy? "We would like you and mama to come the month before to help with the wedding, and to visit."

"I think that can be arranged," he said agreeably.

"Taka and I are . . . well, we're going out with some friends to celebrate. Kajri and Kaberi have already bought five bridal magazines for me to peruse, and Vinny and Luke want to treat us to Giordano's, so I better let you go. But daddy?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you," she said softly.

"No, thank you. I love you, Kaena. I'll talk to you soon."

She made a soft sound of assent and hung up. Nakago put the phone back in the cradle and leaned back in his chair. He almost (not quite) jumped when Miaka put her hand on his shoulder. He turned and looked at her. She was sleepy, and cranky, and her hair was sticking up wildly. He reached up and smoothed her hair down, and her expression melted to curiosity.

"Who was that?"

"Kaena and Taka are getting married," he said, and buried his face against her breasts, comforted by her warmth. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "They want us to come for a month before the wedding."

Miaka was quiet, and her fingers ran through his hair, which had turned from buttery yellow to an ashy, white-blonde in the last few months. He couldn't hear her thoughts, but he could imagine them. Finally, she pushed back and looked at his face very seriously. "I don't think a month will be nearly enough time."

Miaka wandered off to call Yui and Nuriko and wake half of Japan to let them know that Her Baby was Getting Married. Nakago leaned back in his chair, staring at the ceiling, while laughter bubbled up from his belly. He didn't know what he had done to gain such favor in the eyes of the gods, but he was grateful. Oh yes, he was very grateful.

The End.


End file.
